Jezza, wasn't trying to make a drama out of it was just trying to keep a record of it because I can't remember when I've stopped and when I haven't. I should probably do this elsewhere.
Kirst, have been to AA and I intend to go back, but it's a bit scary. The people there are great though.
Fair enough - it's none of my damn business anyway, and I've got no right to judge. It's more a case of what I would say to myself, when I was in that situation, from where I am now.
I found that I liked the idea of giving up more than the actual reality of doing so, which is why I kept failing. It took me years, and all the while I was writing storylines in my head to justify why I was going to fail the next time.
Going to AA is a major step, so it's great you've done that. Like everything it's all about timing: I only needed to go once to give myself the push I needed (after a year of dithering), but I don't think anything less of people who go to a meeting every week.
The only advice I can give is that when you spot the warning signs that would have traditionally led up to a binge, pre-empt them by distracting yourself. If you were locked in a remote mountain cabin you couldn't go out and drink and you'd still survive. A binge is
not inevitable. Nobody is holding you down and pouring alcohol into you. Only you, and you are in command, so if you decide you are tired of that way of life, then stick to your guns, and don't drink for that next minute. Or the next hour, or for the rest of that day. You go from counting the minutes at times, through to hours, days, weeks when you don't think about having a drink. And then, one day, you realise that you haven't thought about it for months, and that you wouldn't want one anyway, because everything that messed you up in the past was down to alcohol. That's the mental association you have to cultivate.
