Author Topic: What was the last film you watched?  (Read 542553 times)

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9100 on: September 02, 2020, 10:49:57 am »
Airplane vs Volcano. Shortchanged on the title, there are loads of volcanoes. What happens when the pilot is killed and locks the plane in a circle inside a ring of volcanoes? Drama, that's what. The engines fall off, there's a madman locked in the toilet, and someone put the chap from Superman (not the movie) in charge. He's got a backstory, stares at a picture of his family on the dashboard with a look that could be sadness. Or he could have been wrestling with an uncomfortable intestinal issue. What drives him to sacrifice himself for his fellow passengers? Who knows, they didn't say. Look at the picture Dean, look at the picture. Much calamity as what looks like fifty out of the ten passengers die. Everyone else survives, except from Dean-o and the madman in the loo.

Arctic Apocalypse. It's cold outside. So cold even the wolves are anosmic (handy for hiding from them). I'm not actually sure it was a wolf, I think they spray-painted a normal dog. Everything is given a bit more of naturistic appeal by shooting the movie on what seems to have been an early model iPhone. There are some cynics who may claim that you can't render proper CGI with Microsoft Paint. They're right. Enjoyably awful even by the standards set so far.

War of the Worlds 2. This one wasn't directed by Spielberg unless he was having a laugh. The acting was splendidly bad, or they were really good and acting acting poorly. You never know with actors. It could have been a project. This could have been enjoyably awful but settled on being dull because nothing excitingly stupid happened. I liked the fact that The Science Lady (a feature of these movies that I support) had a southern drawl (back at ya, yankees) and she'd say something nonsensical and someone would pause for a moment and say 'Victoria sure knows what she's talking about.' Like, I say, I think this one may have been an Experiment Acting Project and we were its unwilling victims. This is why I always check my wardrobes for Shia LeBeouf.
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Kim

  • Timelord
Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9101 on: September 02, 2020, 12:16:35 pm »
Airplane vs Volcano.

If it doesn't feature the line "It's a big hill with lava, but that's not important right now" I'm not interested.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9102 on: September 02, 2020, 12:43:56 pm »
The Revenant. I thought it would be a bit miserable and it was. Beautifully filmed and acted though.
Get a bicycle. You will never regret it, if you live- Mark Twain

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9103 on: September 02, 2020, 12:54:49 pm »
Airplane vs Volcano.

If it doesn't feature the line "It's a big hill with lava, but that's not important right now" I'm not interested.

It sadly didn't, but there were standouts, like when the madman in the loo threatened the plane with a drinks miniature. Or when he escaped the plane mid-air in an inflatable life raft. The inexplicably angry-in-every-scene colonel. Save people, I don't have time to save people! The runaway drinks cart. The volcanoes were really bit players in this drama. What with Dean-o having to fly a plane that was locked on autopilot because the pilots were killed by volcanic debris that had somehow materialized in the cockpit. Is there a volcanologist on the plane? Fortunately, yes. Jet fighters vs. volcanoes. Boo-yah! It also contained an educational component. Life lesson: no matter how much of a good idea it seems, don't try to fix a clogged airplane engine in flight with a hammer.
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Tim Hall

  • I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes
Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9104 on: September 06, 2020, 05:09:48 pm »
Went The Day Well? on old codgers'Talking Pictures TV yesterday evening. Made in 1942, based on a short story by Graham Greene, it's a surprisingly violent tale of disguised German paratroopers taking over a village and holding the occupants hostage. Jack Higgins used it as inspiration for the very similar The Eagle Has Landed. The church, where much of the action takes place,later went on to star in The Vicar of Dibley.
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9105 on: September 07, 2020, 07:43:05 pm »
Storm Seekers. This once promised Darryl Hannah, a bonafide movie star. It was hard to tell, it wasn't clear if she'd not exactly aged like fine wine or lost an argument with a plastic surgeon. For plus points, she's a meteorologist in charge of flying a plane through a hurricane. Huzzah. Hurricanes and aeroplanes. Of course, fatuous fathead director of the weather service won't take Darryl's advice about the unfolding windy climate calamity. They never do. The pilot's eyes get fried by the exploding electrics at a crucial point and a nearby reporter has to fly the plane (or rather just push the stick), despite the perfectly serviceable co-pilot sitting next to him. Everyone who isn't on the ground defers to Darryl, though she doesn't appear to know anything about flying aeroplanes through hurricanes. All the elements were there, but they failed to line up into something bad enough to be entertaining. Oh, and despite everything, it seems Jacksonville got destroyed but by then the movie was over. Sorry, Jacksonville. Basically this movie wasn't bad enough to be good.

Alien Showdown. After that soggy disappointment, I figured a mockbuster was called for. This one appealed, it seemed to be Predator vs Cowboys vs Aliens, and that promised a person in a cheap rubber monster suit, one of my top movie things. Get popcorn. It didn't disappoint. This movie was awesomely bad on every possible dimension. The editing, the script, the acting, the sfx, the score. It was bingo-winning bad, they got every box. Now it was the Predator, just not a very scary one (possibly he had a dim cousin), and it appears from the constant need to shake its head, to suffer from swimmer's ear. It also stomped. THUD THUD THUD. Absolutely no good for sneaking up on someone. Despite having a nifty gatling-type laser gun, the alien couldn't even shoot a cowboy, I don't think he could have even shot his own foot. This was not a scary alien. It gloriously disturbing at one point – the predator stopped to admire a nubile young lady stripping off to undertake the wild west bathing experience. I honestly thought I'd stumbled into genre of alien vs cowgirl porn. I consider myself liberal, but for god's sake, even I've got bounds. I was relieved when the predator settled for killing her. It was better for everyone. Also, I'm no expert on wild west medical technology, but I feel sure that no one back then had quite that level of pneumatic augmentation.

That was the wild west portion. So far, so good. But it segued back and forth to the present day where a scientist who wasn't very good at any kind of science was trying to stop the predator inviting all his friends back and there was a danger they'd learned to shoot in the meantime. No mention of whether he intended to send a warning about swimmer's ear. Imagine the embarrassment of a galactic invasion brought short by a blocked ear canal. Future scientist had smaller breasts. I mentioned this, not just because I'm foul minded, but because the director made sure I knew in a scene where snoozing future scientist was gradually exposed as her blanket was pulled away. By a Grey (yes, alien fans, an actual Grey, did I not mention that?). So we've moved on from lecherous perv predators to gratuitous gazing Greys. Well, they do traditionally zip around the galaxy on a mission to probe the orifices of small town Americans, so possibly we should be surprised. Although in this move, the Greys (spendid rendered as either puppets or a very small person in a rubber suit, please please please let it be the latter) are the good aliens who when they aren't spanking themselves off to semi-naked scientists are looking out for a mankind threatened by imminent doom from the sky. Fortunately it all came together and the world was saved. Other than the cowboy of course, who spent most of the movie dead, which saved us from his peculiar take on acting.

Absolutely, spendidly awful, and it more than made up for Storm Seekers. Once is enough though, I honestly could not watch this movie again.
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T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9106 on: September 08, 2020, 11:00:32 am »
A Million Ways To Die In The West.  A corny send-up of every Western cliché you could think of, plus Charlize Theron's dimples (and the rest of her). Fun.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9107 on: September 09, 2020, 08:25:09 pm »
https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2020/04/behold-dune-an-exclusive-look-at-timothee-chalamet-zendaya-oscar-isaac


Some pics from the upcoming remake of Dune.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9xhJrPXop4&feature=emb_logo


First preview.


I must not fear.... that they'll mess it up.      Visuals look OK.  Not keen on the armour, but in a blade based culture it makes sense.  They only seem to use shields once ?    Just watched it again.


https://consequenceofsound.net/2020/09/denis-villeneuves-dune-trailer-explained
Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9108 on: September 09, 2020, 08:56:37 pm »
https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2020/04/behold-dune-an-exclusive-look-at-timothee-chalamet-zendaya-oscar-isaac


Some pics from the upcoming remake of Dune.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9xhJrPXop4&feature=emb_logo


First preview.


I must not fear.... that they'll mess it up.      Visuals look OK.  Not keen on the armour, but in a blade based culture it makes sense.  They only seem to use shields once ?    Just watched it again.


https://consequenceofsound.net/2020/09/denis-villeneuves-dune-trailer-explained

Looks promising. Proper ornithopters! :thumbsup:

The shields in the Villeneuve version are more subtle than the blocky effect in the Lynch film, but that's advances in CGI for you - plus if memory serves, the shield effect was fairly close-fitting in the books.
He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.

Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9109 on: September 09, 2020, 09:05:40 pm »
Ooh thanks for the heads up I didn't know about this.
Get a bicycle. You will never regret it, if you live- Mark Twain

Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9110 on: September 10, 2020, 09:30:47 am »
I've watched the trailer. It looks promising.

Some of the casting is terrific. Momoa as Idaho is good, as is Charlotte Rampling as the mother superior.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9111 on: September 10, 2020, 06:00:08 pm »
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjLijCWt76o


Dune Cast Q&A with Stephen Colbert.
Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9112 on: September 10, 2020, 09:23:08 pm »
Villeneuve

Ugh! I wasn't a huge fan of Blade Runner 2049, I must say.
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9113 on: September 13, 2020, 08:33:36 am »
"Midway".  The Emmerich version. It's so bad that it's almost good. The man is clueless. How does he keep getting work?.

fuzzy (retd.) AAGE

  • SWMBO's Toy Boy.
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    • The Secret Cyclist blog
Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9114 on: September 13, 2020, 03:01:29 pm »
Le Mans 66. Much historical automotive bling.
Quote from: tatanab
The mark of a true cyclist - prepared to try anything on offer

If it ain't bad for you it ain't worth doing

Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9115 on: September 14, 2020, 08:03:38 am »
Sully (on iPlayer)

Yeah, it's pretty good, worth watching.  The investigation board is a bit 'Hollywood baddie' (they even got Randall Flagg on there!).

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9116 on: September 14, 2020, 08:56:19 am »
Sully (on iPlayer)

Yeah, it's pretty good, worth watching.  The investigation board is a bit 'Hollywood baddie' (they even got Randall Flagg on there!).

yes, mildly worthwhile for the flight and glide sequence, but somewhat overdid the "let's blame the pilot" bit.

For my part, last night was Vanilla Sky, quite why I subjected myself to all of that, having watched the first hour of it is beyond me. I think I should write to Tom the magic midget asking if Scientology can give me back those three hours.  It can do anything else
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9117 on: September 14, 2020, 10:28:13 am »
Pandemic, which we thought was more disaster cheese, but actually turned out to be a two-episode mini-series from 2007 and wasn't entirely awful. Some hokey science sure (the virus as little gremlins under the microscope was a bit special) but that take home from this was that Hollywood screenwriters in the mid-00s knew more about viral pandemics than the world's governments in 2020.
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ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9118 on: September 16, 2020, 10:54:39 am »
I think the tagline 'Bond on acid' sums it up nicely, but I really enjoyed Tenet. OK, I figure the central plot tenet (see what I did there) was difficult to do, but it sort of worked in the mix if you didn't think about it too hard. That sentence won't make sense unless you've seen it.

The actions scenes are well done, it's a bit Bourne-esque old school, which is a good thing. Some people don't like the Nolan turn-up-the-volume-to-11 soundtracks, but I do, so ner.

Everyone seemed to be asking each other this on the way out of the cinema, so the answer is:

(click to show/hide)
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citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9119 on: September 16, 2020, 06:15:38 pm »
I think the tagline 'Bond on acid' sums it up nicely

I once watched Dr No after dropping a tab and I never want to repeat that experience again - especially not the machete-wielding nazi unicorns on tricycles.
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Steph

  • Fast. Fast and bulbous. But fluffy.
Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9120 on: Today at 08:04:21 am »
Ian, re 'Alien Showdown'

Can I recommend 'Princess of Mars', available on Channel 5 catch up? It is really, really in the running for ticking all your shite boxes.

Meanwhile, I have just watched this classic. Is that John Cleese in there?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkxW-nB0nNU&ab_channel=DafyddHumphreys
Mae angen arnaf i byw, a fe fydda'i

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9121 on: Today at 08:59:46 am »
Ronni Ancona had the best description of Culloden I've ever heard, back in prehistoric times when QI was still worth watching:

Quote
The Battle of Culloden is quite complicated, because it was basically an Italian fop with a Polish accent with a bunch of Highlanders, some Irish, a few French, fighting some Scottish low-landers, English, led by a fat German from Hanover.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Re: What was the last film you watched?
« Reply #9122 on: Today at 10:05:06 am »
The last film I watched was Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. It's really strange and you look for the meaning, but there is none (I suppose). But I think it has a clear message.