Author Topic: Befuddling parental utterances  (Read 3506 times)

Wowbagger

  • Dez's butler
    • Musings of a Gentleman Cyclist
Befuddling parental utterances
« on: April 27, 2013, 11:32:17 am »
Quote
I'll put you two on eBay in a minute if you don't pack it in. You're doin me eddin.

On a train going to Fenchurch Street.
Eating's a serious business. Don't bollocks around wagging your tail.

Eccentrica Gallumbits

  • Rock 'n' roll and brew, rock 'n' roll and brew...
Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2013, 07:42:25 am »
Mum: Kirsten, will you hang these bird feeders in the tree in the front garden please?

Me: ok. *does so*

Mum: you've hung those too high, the birds don't like it.
My feminist marxist dialectic brings all the boys to the yard.


Cudzoziemiec

  • Eating all the pies and drinking all the tea.
Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #2 on: July 04, 2014, 01:22:31 pm »
Not parental but teacherly - from the school newsletter:
Quote
We've had fun with angles and triangles in Maths - just how many triangles can be drawn in a 6 point circle?
I know what it means, probably, but since when did a circle have points?
Days become simply the spaces between dreams, spaces between the shifting floors of time...

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #3 on: July 04, 2014, 04:53:14 pm »
Not parental but teacherly - from the school newsletter:
Quote
We've had fun with angles and triangles in Maths - just how many triangles can be drawn in a 6 point circle?
I know what it means, probably, but since when did a circle have points?

When you drew a six-petalled 'flower' inside it, using just your compasses, then joined the tips of the petals to make a hexagon.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Eating all the pies and drinking all the tea.
Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #4 on: August 26, 2014, 10:57:08 am »
On a plane, row behind me.
Mother: Where's your head?
Toddler: Here.
Mother: Well, that's where the people are.
Days become simply the spaces between dreams, spaces between the shifting floors of time...

Wowbagger

  • Dez's butler
    • Musings of a Gentleman Cyclist
Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #5 on: February 15, 2017, 10:55:19 pm »
Wandering along Bishopsgate this evening...

Parents and small girl reciting bits about Christopher Robin going down with Alice.

"Who was Alice?" asks small girl.

"She looked after Winnie-ther-Pooh."

Like fuck she did.
Eating's a serious business. Don't bollocks around wagging your tail.

Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #6 on: February 15, 2017, 11:42:49 pm »
Well, who the fuck *is* Alice?

(click to show/hide)

rr

Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #7 on: February 16, 2017, 12:18:25 am »
Or a reference to a bawdy song, popular at bar nights when I was pso

Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #8 on: March 02, 2017, 02:37:34 pm »
Heard in various supermarkets throughout my youth:
"Oi <insert childs name here>! Come year for a slap!"
I always thought that was an unlikely incentive!

Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #9 on: March 02, 2017, 09:45:48 pm »
Booking a trip to Ireland for my mum:

YT "How long do you want to go for?"

Ma "7 days at the most, but it's not worth going for less than a week".
L'enfer, c'est les autos.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Befuddling parental utterances
« Reply #10 on: March 02, 2017, 10:52:37 pm »
Friends mum, scolding dog who'd been somewhat naughty

" you're an animal!"
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens