The computing stuff rant thread

[Afasoas]

Windows...

Do you really have to overwrite my boot partition every few weeks???
You are not my preferred OS anymore. Get over it.

[barakta]

University IT. 

8am to 10am are BUSINESS fucking hours for us.  No warning for *scheduled* maintenance on email with risk of downtime is a fucking joke. You *REALLY* shouldn't be taking our email down at those times without at least the courtesy of an email round you nobbers.  For context, I sent 83 emails yesterday. 

Two or three people I know couldn't log into our calendars this morning to find out where our meeting was, nor could we access our prep materials, all in fucking Outlook. IF WE HAD BEEN WARNED we could have done this yesterday.

Also, you totally didn't put that status update at 8:17 cos I was trying servicedesk till about 9:35 and nothing showed, lying twats.  And no at 10:35 it is not all fixed, I still can't get into outlook web access and nor can our team for our team mailbox...  I am awaiting documents and studes will be emailing our inbox and expecting a reply.

So I have fucking well issued a ticket request with a request for a response when web access is back and an explanation for the lack of warning for *SCHEDULED* maintenance. 

And that's on top of my other "open" ticket which is sitting there languishing away well out of SLA where you're not responding, so I'm adding updates and still no response, so the latest update was a "Respond with update even if not resolution within 5 days or I shall dob you into Boss3 for failing to even have the courtesy to respond...".  Especially as it's the second ticket on the issue cos the ITperson didn't do customer service and transfer me, he told me I had to submit a whole new ticket for the solution...   

IT used to be quite good and have reasonable SLAs.  However we're having a LOT of network issues and no one seems to communicate or give a fuck. 

Right, maybe Java has finally updated, had a little dance, shat all over my system and whatever else so I can go and fight with the shitty central database to find out my prospective student's offer info which I need before I can handle an urgent query.

And yes I am in a foul fucking mood after pointless meeting of pointlessness, too fucking hot and too much fuckwittery affecting my students which I have to magically resolve.

[Chris S]

Oi! Server under my desk - SSShhhhh!!!

Look, I know it's hot and I know you're busy, but could you wind down the fans just a wee bit?

<checks internal temps on iLO4>

Oh. No. I guess not. 

[perpetual dan]

I can't name names, but I've just found a really creatively broken password system:
To set the password: You can type a password containing letters, numbers and symbols. They silently strip out the symbols and accept your input.
To login: You can type the password as before. It fails the comparison and doesn't log you in. So presumably they're not stripping out the symbols this time!
How do I know this? Of course they'll email you the password in plain text.
(OK, that last bit doesn't qualify as creative.)

[Mr Larrington]

Apparently my lapdancer is supposed to speak Bluetooth.  I have spent much of the afternoon trying to confirm this hypothesis.  I have failed.  Spoons

[woollypigs]

Not a rant,  more a go figure and why?

Visit www.farcebook.com with chrome on android tablet, can't view flash movies. Change the www. to m.and it's playing happy, go figure.

[TQ]

Not a rant,  more a go figure and why?

Visit www.farcebook.com with chrome on android tablet, can't view flash movies. Change the www. to m.and it's playing happy, go figure.

I'd imagine the mobile version uses HTML5 videos not Flash movies.

[simonp]

git - your documentation said splitting out a subfolder into a new project was easy. This was a lie.

First of all, the way you handle renames (you guess a file of the same name might be your ancestor, and if not have to perform a search for a similar-ish file) is asinine.

Second, you don't have a way to find the ancestors of a bunch of renamed files and keep these. So if I have a subfolder foo containing a file bar.c and I want to maintain its history across renames I have to rice delete everything. Eos else. (Autocorrect fail).

This repository contains 75000+ commits. I have it down to 65000 yet the history of my interesting folder is only several thousands of commits. So there are about 65000 commits of irrelevant deleted or moved files to find and prune.

Sigh.

[Mr Larrington]

Is 'git' some kind of software package or your opinion of the person responsible?

[David Martin]

Both

[ian]

So the laptop I bought my parents a year or so back is teetering on the edge of infinity popup oblivion. I just took control with Teamviewer. Oh my god, did they ever meet a piece of malware they didn't like? It's a foul menagerie of adware, spyware, and viruses. Is there a link they didn't click? Even Finestre, the demon of such things, would stand a ways back and poke the computer with a stick. They somehow managed to de-activate every security option I set up.

This is Finestre's revenge because I was too tight to buy them a Mac. It's going to be a long night. It might be easier to tell them to bin it and buy them an iPad. I'm going to make some popcorn.

[barakta]

I'm going to have to divert home from Leeds on Sunday to South Manchester to go and find out what the feck my mum has done to her ADSL... It's very likely she's unplugged its phoneline extension or has a phone on the line with no microfilter.  Attempts at remote diagnosis weren't getting me anywhere and she's especially dappy at the moment. It is also possible her router has gone actually senile.

She's not too bad for spyware clickfest thankfully.  I did find out the very spammy narrowboat crap in her email (which I keep an eye on for her) was actually a thing she signed up for and not actual spam. I've attempted an unsubscribe cos even she feels 2x emails a day is a bit much.

[Mr Larrington]

I noted only today that I find the iPad to be of little practical value but is one of the finest aids to wasting time yet invented.

[red marley]

So the laptop I bought my parents a year or so back is teetering on the edge of infinity popup oblivion. I just took control with Teamviewer. Oh my god, did they ever meet a piece of malware they didn't like? It's a foul menagerie of adware, spyware, and viruses. Is there a link they didn't click? Even Finestre, the demon of such things, would stand a ways back and poke the computer with a stick. They somehow managed to de-activate every security option I set up.

This is Finestre's revenge because I was too tight to buy them a Mac. It's going to be a long night. It might be easier to tell them to bin it and buy them an iPad. I'm going to make some popcorn.

To help you through the night...

http://youtu.be/2Pn1YrBTbA8

[tonycollinet]

So the laptop I bought my parents a year or so back is teetering on the edge of infinity popup oblivion. I just took control with Teamviewer. Oh my god, did they ever meet a piece of malware they didn't like? It's a foul menagerie of adware, spyware, and viruses. Is there a link they didn't click? Even Finestre, the demon of such things, would stand a ways back and poke the computer with a stick. They somehow managed to de-activate every security option I set up.

This is Finestre's revenge because I was too tight to buy them a Mac. It's going to be a long night. It might be easier to tell them to bin it and buy them an iPad. I'm going to make some popcorn.

To help you though the night...

http://youtu.be/2Pn1YrBTbA8

Take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.


(seriously - that sounds like a candidate for a clean windows install)

EDIT: On reflection - perhaps even an Ubuntu installation. Would be more resistant to click happy 'rents

[simonp]

Both

Correct.

[Tim Hall]

Last time I went to un-malware my Dad's computer, he said it should have parental controls on it. Controls to stop my parents b0rking it.

[Mr Larrington]

Apple!  I salute the unsung genius among you who arranged it such that unplugging the 30-pin wossname from an old-akool iPod Classic dock require that you first unplug the >...BZZZTT!...< lead going into the >...GRRRKK!!1!...< hi-fi amplifier

[ian]

So the laptop I bought my parents a year or so back is teetering on the edge of infinity popup oblivion. I just took control with Teamviewer. Oh my god, did they ever meet a piece of malware they didn't like? It's a foul menagerie of adware, spyware, and viruses. Is there a link they didn't click? Even Finestre, the demon of such things, would stand a ways back and poke the computer with a stick. They somehow managed to de-activate every security option I set up.

This is Finestre's revenge because I was too tight to buy them a Mac. It's going to be a long night. It might be easier to tell them to bin it and buy them an iPad. I'm going to make some popcorn.

To help you though the night...

http://youtu.be/2Pn1YrBTbA8

Take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.


(seriously - that sounds like a candidate for a clean windows install)

EDIT: On reflection - perhaps even an Ubuntu installation. Would be more resistant to click happy 'rents

Well, I would nuke it from orbit, but I'm saving the codes for a special occasion. Truth is, I know bugger all about Windows these days, and to say it's riddled with malware is an understatement of epic proportions. There's a malware equivalent of UKIP in there claiming that other malware keeps arriving and taking their jobs. Despite removing dozens I still can't even get into my father's account, there's something blocking Teamviewer and any kind of remote access. As far as I can tell something has inserted its own proxy and hacked the hosts files (hey, if they still have them). No traffic is going where it should.

I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this in person, hence the remote approach, but after three hours I threw in the towel. I'll have one more brief try but I think the machine is irretrievably compromised.

It doesn't help that my parents don't speak computer, so lots of conversations like this

"There's something on the screen."
"What's a something?"
"Java something?"
"A dialogue box?"
"?"
"A square box. It should have some text about Java and some buttons."
"Yes, it says Java."
"But what does it say?"
"Something about Java and some numbers."
"Could you just read what it says to me?"
"I just clicked the OK button."

ArrrrrggggggghHHHHHHHHH. This after I'd specifically told them to stop clicking OK and Next on everything that pops up.

[Mr Larrington]

Will whatever the fuck it was that was causing the pointer on my lapdancer to bounce around the screen like Tigger on mood-altering Drugz please to not be doing it again.

kthxbai

[Gattopardo]

Fettle laptop by swapping hard drives then notice certain keys no longer work......arghhh.

[Mr Larrington]

Album cocking artwork on iTunes is driving me stark staring mad

[Pickled Onion]

Album cocking artwork on iTunes is driving me stark staring mad

Truly a pain in the arse. Every other application can just find the artwork, it's right there with the songs, but iTunes has to be shown where it is. For every single album.

[ian]

Album cocking artwork on iTunes is driving me stark staring mad

Truly a pain in the arse. Every other application can just find the artwork, it's right there with the songs, but iTunes has to be shown where it is. For every single album.

Weird. It's always found artwork fine throughout my library — the majority self-ripped.

[Mr Larrington]

It's worse than that.  Some albums it finds artwork for.  Some it doesn't but you can add it manually.  And some just refuse to accept the existence of the very concept.  Unless you use the "Albums" view, in which case they suddenly can and it looks like the forty minutes you spent trying to persuade HMHB's "Eno Collaboration EP" to show its cover to the world were not in vain and then you go back to the "Songs" view and it disappears again and sometimes I want to visit Cupertino with a chainsaw and run through the corridors of Fruit Central shouting "It's WRONG, you lemming-brained cluster of planks!  MAKE IT FUCKING WORK!!!"

And breathe.