Author Topic: Poo sticks  (Read 15051 times)

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #100 on: February 07, 2020, 12:52:44 pm »
I'm expecting my first present in the post any time soon  :thumbsup:.

Of course - I managed to get a bonus Sigmoidoscopy when I was 55, so the NHS' interest in my bum started early.

I got a sigmoidoscopy at 55. They found and removed a polyp.
They followed this with a colonoscopy and gave me the all clear.

Poo sticks in 2018 were clear.

Expect more around next birthday...i

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #101 on: February 07, 2020, 01:40:54 pm »
Once you are on their list, you are always on. I ride the black lizard once very year or two years, but I still get sent the birthday present packages. I phone up and say that I don't need them.
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #102 on: March 12, 2020, 07:11:23 pm »
I've just had a letter..........   They want to shove a camera up my bottom  :jurek:       


I suspect that given the upcoming workload on the NHS routine stuff like this may be sidelined & staff deployed elsewhere. 
Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

Gus

  • Loosing weight stone by stone
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Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #103 on: March 12, 2020, 07:47:03 pm »
Had my first test Kit a few weeks ago.
Result came today: All clear, Will recieve a new
Kit in two years

Regulator

  • That's Councillor Regulator to you...
Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #104 on: March 16, 2020, 10:27:17 am »
I didn't get a test kit when I turned 50 or in the two years since...  but I've had three sigmoidoscopies.
Quote from: clarion
I completely agree with Reg.

Green Party Councillor

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #105 on: March 16, 2020, 12:57:58 pm »
I thought they only sent poo sticks at 60 and did sigmoidoscopy at 55.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #106 on: March 16, 2020, 02:56:44 pm »
I just tell them I don’t need the poo sticks on account of sitting on mount Olympus at least once every two years. I have to remind the poo sticks people every time.
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Regulator

  • That's Councillor Regulator to you...
Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #107 on: March 16, 2020, 03:14:39 pm »
I thought they only sent poo sticks at 60 and did sigmoidoscopy at 55.

I'm supposed to have them every two years because of a history of bowel cancer and Crohn's Disease.  Seemed to get them regularly for some years but then, when we moved to Cambridge, I got them for a couple of years and then it became more intermittent and nothing in the last few years.  GP practice gets reminded regularly but still can't get it's act together.

Quote from: clarion
I completely agree with Reg.

Green Party Councillor

Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #109 on: June 13, 2020, 09:15:29 pm »
I think I'm due another birthday card. I was 62 last Sunday and had one for my 60th...

Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #110 on: June 13, 2020, 10:30:22 pm »
I was 62 last Sunday

Belated birthday greetings. I knew the month, not the date.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #111 on: September 21, 2020, 02:41:11 pm »
The Machine informs me I'll get my FIT kit in a fortnight.

Wowbagger

  • Dez's butler
    • Musings of a Gentleman Cyclist
Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #112 on: September 21, 2020, 04:02:52 pm »
Many happy returns of the sticks!
Eating's a serious business. Don't bollocks around wagging your tail.

Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #113 on: September 21, 2020, 09:27:55 pm »
I've heard nothing since the letter in March.   I assume they are busy with other things.   :-\
Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #114 on: September 24, 2020, 11:06:58 am »
My employers send all employees over 50 for advanced health screening every year. Bloods, heart ECG thingy, prostate and poo sticks.

Its august/september, must be time to be probed again  ::-)
<i>Marmite slave</i>

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #115 on: September 30, 2020, 03:11:15 pm »
Package arrived in mail today.
'What's that?' asked D
'I won't tell you over breakfast. Birthday card from NHS. They send that to you every two years after you're 60.'

D has OCD and poo is taboo. Got cleaning lady to post last envelope. Will probably do the same again...

[ETA] Mission accomplished. Clear for another two years.

Wowbagger

  • Dez's butler
    • Musings of a Gentleman Cyclist
Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #116 on: October 17, 2020, 01:12:48 am »
I'm due another test and haven't heard from anyone.

I suspect they have got Serco to combine poo sticks with a Covid test - back of the throat, up your nose, up your arse. It's important to get them in the right order.

Eating's a serious business. Don't bollocks around wagging your tail.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #117 on: October 17, 2020, 02:23:33 am »
Suspect your will arrive shortly.
My birthday is early June and all my bowel screening has been around early October.

Given your birthday is about three weeks after mine, methinks it won't be long...

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
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Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #118 on: October 17, 2020, 06:31:13 am »
I'm due another test and haven't heard from anyone.

I suspect they have got Serco to combine poo sticks with a Covid test - back of the throat, up your nose, up your arse. It's important to get them in the right order.

This prompted me to look back through this thread for my last test.
September 2018.  So it's already 4 weeks late.
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #119 on: October 17, 2020, 09:18:37 am »
I'm due another test and haven't heard from anyone.

I suspect they have got Serco to combine poo sticks with a Covid test - back of the throat, up your nose, out your arse. It's important to get them in the right order.

FTFY

Trouble begins when they withdraw the probe.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

robgul

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Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #120 on: October 17, 2020, 12:54:42 pm »
On a slightly different area of the body I had a CT scan a couple of weeks ago to check kidney function (having had bladder cancer and some major surgery in 2014) - delighted to report all flowing well and no sign of cancer recurrence.  Bowel test envelope due imminently.

A bit higher up, my wife went to the breast screening truck a couple of weeks ago .... letter yesterday and she shouted up the stairs "All OK, I've got top tits!"   - who's going to argue with that  :thumbsup:

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #121 on: October 17, 2020, 03:02:01 pm »
the new poo sticks only need a small single sample on a stick that's a couple of cm long and has shallow ridges that must be covered.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #122 on: October 17, 2020, 03:11:54 pm »
the new poo sticks only need a small single sample on a stick that's a couple of cm long and has shallow ridges that must be covered.

That's quite a specification for a turd.

Covered with what...?!
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #123 on: October 17, 2020, 05:02:07 pm »
The ridges are about ½ mm deep and 2mm apart.

You need to coat stick with a thin layer of poo.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Poo sticks
« Reply #124 on: October 17, 2020, 06:03:04 pm »
I don't measure the ridges on my poo  ;)
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.