Author Topic: You know you're middle aged when  (Read 83985 times)

Oscar's dad

  • Cheers!
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #225 on: April 01, 2016, 10:41:25 am »
I think old people go to Festivals these days. The average age of the audience at Glastonbury is now 58.

We're going to a Sausage & Cider festival in May.  3 nights camping too!

Local bands will be playing, no national names.  The line up includes a Prodigy tribute band which should be interesting!  I wonder if they'll open their set with "BBQ starter"? 

A member The Prodigy (the real band) used to own a converted windmill in Terling which is just down the road from here.


 

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
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    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #226 on: April 01, 2016, 10:56:57 am »
I think old people go to Festivals these days. The average age of the audience at Glastonbury is now 58.
http://www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/glastonbury-2016-line-up-so-far/

Adele
Coldplay
Muse
Beck
ELO
Earth Wind & Fire
Guy Garvey
Sigur Ros
Madness
St Etienne
ZZ Top
New Order

QED.

I'd like, totes, be up for that if Coldplay had to pull out at the last minute due to their drummer suffering a bizarre gardening accident and Adele was replaced by a singer ;D

Oh.  Apparently it's not an April Fool.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

citoyen

  • Cat 6 Racer
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #227 on: April 01, 2016, 03:15:10 pm »
In worrying news, I'm old enough to remember Rolf Harris at Glastonbury (well, he's taken the shine off that performance) and the sheer mass of flying piss bottles at Reading. It's probably all chai lattes and defibrillators these days.

I remember when Reading was a proper RAWK festival - though not because I actually attended in those days. We were on the way to visit my aunt & co who lived nearby and we drove past a pub that had hairy oiks spilling out into the road, slowing traffic to a crawl. One charming young gent dropped his leather breeches and perked his hirsute behind on our car bonnet, to which my mum responded by revving loudly and starting to move the car forward... You have never seen a rocker pull up his pants and leg it so fast. His mates all found it highly amusing.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #228 on: April 01, 2016, 03:49:15 pm »
The thing at Reading was to fill a two litre plastic bottle with piss and send it spinning through the air, thus liberally dousing the crowds below with your golden output. I was terrified. There was a brief moment when you didn't want to smell like wee. And then it all became moot.

First time at Glastonbury I popped my head out of the tent one morning to see a girl doing a piss right there. Skirt up, knickers down, full on and going for glory. I have no idea why though I rather wished she wasn't (that kind of thing isn't my thing, trust me). The shock of my appearance made her fall back in the mud mid-stream. I'm not sure which of us was most traumatised by the experience, but fortunately only the one of us suffered the indignity of lying in the mud spraying piss over ourselves. I bet she wished she had independent targeting control about then. She stumbled off, knickers half mast. Or slithered, owing to the fact everything was already six inch deep in mud. There was no classy escape from that situation.

I imagine it's all very civilised these days. I'm too old for all night sound systems. I'm too old for all night anything.
!nataS pihsroW

Tim Hall

  • I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #229 on: April 01, 2016, 04:09:34 pm »

I imagine it's all very civilised these days. I'm too old for all night sound systems. I'm too old for all night anything.
I have outlived my youthfulness
so a quiet life for me
Where once
I used to scintillate
Now I sin
Till ten
Past three

Roger McGough
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #230 on: April 01, 2016, 05:43:28 pm »
I am going to Cropredy festival. It is specially for people of my generation. THe last festival I can recall was Reading 1976.

We'll be thinking of David's schoolmate James Aldridge (1964-2015) when you go...

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #231 on: April 01, 2016, 05:59:47 pm »
The only time I went to Reading was sometime in the 80s. It was pissing down and the Suzuki 550 me and my mate we going from York on developed a damp coil and so limped the last 80 miles on two cylinders on and off. We got the tent up and a couple of Glaswegian skinheads immediately flattened it. We were in a really bad mood by then and that was the last straw so we punched out the two skinheads much to the appreciation of those in the surrounding tents (the skinheads had been drunkenly annoying and threatening everyone for several hours before we arrived). Strangely after we had planted them the skinheads decided we were their best friends and wanted to hang around with us all weekend. Cant even remember what bands we saw now.

I worked security at the Elephant Fayre one year, that was nice, mellow and really hot.

The last Stonehenge festival was an experience !

Glastonbury in the early 90s was OK.

I most enjoyed the Kent Custom Show in the late 80s and early 90s though. That was a Hells Angels bike and music festival.

Haven't been to a festival for years now. Keep thinking about giving Cropperdy or the Cambridge Folk Festival a go though.
I think you'll find it's a bit more complicated than that.

Torslanda

  • Professional Gobshite
  • Just a tart for retro kit . . .
    • John's Bikes
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #232 on: April 02, 2016, 02:02:41 am »
Christ! You lot are really selling this camping lark...
VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #233 on: April 02, 2016, 09:27:47 am »
First time at Glastonbury I popped my head out of the tent one morning to see a girl doing a piss right there. Skirt up, knickers down, full on and going for glory. I have no idea why though I rather wished she wasn't (that kind of thing isn't my thing, trust me). The shock of my appearance made her fall back in the mud mid-stream. I'm not sure which of us was most traumatised by the experience, but fortunately only the one of us suffered the indignity of lying in the mud spraying piss over ourselves. I bet she wished she had independent targeting control about then. She stumbled off, knickers half mast. Or slithered, owing to the fact everything was already six inch deep in mud. There was no classy escape from that situation.

'84 ?
Rust never sleeps

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #234 on: April 02, 2016, 10:16:09 am »
You know you're middle aged when ...


 ... the neighbour with whom you are discussing the water leak issue who looks ten years older than you turns out to be a year younger than you.   

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #235 on: April 02, 2016, 01:32:29 pm »
Christ! You lot are really selling this camping lark...

That's not camping, that's festivals.  Totally different tent-related badger.   :hand:
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

citoyen

  • Cat 6 Racer
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #236 on: April 02, 2016, 05:51:26 pm »
You know you are both middle aged and middle class when you spend your Saturday afternoon visiting National Trust properties. And you are a NT member, of course. And you take a flask of tea.

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #237 on: April 03, 2016, 02:09:06 pm »
I didn't admit to being middle-aged until reaching 50, when I realised I must be at least halfway.

Two decades later I'm happy to remain so  ;D

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #238 on: April 03, 2016, 04:47:58 pm »
A chum was showing off pictures of the kit car he's building.  Lotus Se7en-alike, 650 kg, Ford-Cosworth YB with the wick turned up to give 730 bhp :o  Now that's an MLC toy!
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #239 on: April 03, 2016, 05:11:06 pm »
A chum was showing off pictures of the kit car he's building.  Lotus Se7en-alike, 650 kg, Ford-Cosworth YB with the wick turned up to give 730 bhp :o  Now that's an MLC toy!
That's rather un-gentlemanly, and un-sportsmanlike of you to inform us of such, without any apparent attempt to share pictures of the same.
If you don't mind my saying so.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #240 on: April 03, 2016, 07:18:28 pm »
At the Reading festivals I went to urine wasn't thrown towards the front, it was given, hopefully, to those who were walking to the side of the arena. In Party Seven tins.

At one of the festivals we had a lovely plastic ground sheet that we sat on and then one of our party threw up on. We simply got a knife out and cut it in half, leaving the festival pizza on the remaining part, and finding another spot.

I know I'm middle aged because I don't do that any more.
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #241 on: April 03, 2016, 07:31:54 pm »
A chum was showing off pictures of the kit car he's building.  Lotus Se7en-alike, 650 kg, Ford-Cosworth YB with the wick turned up to give 730 bhp :o  Now that's an MLC toy!
That's rather un-gentlemanly, and un-sportsmanlike of you to inform us of such, without any apparent attempt to share pictures of the same.
If you don't mind my saying so.

It's not mine, y'know...
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #242 on: April 03, 2016, 07:55:29 pm »
A chum was showing off pictures of the kit car he's building.  Lotus Se7en-alike, 650 kg, Ford-Cosworth YB with the wick turned up to give 730 bhp :o  Now that's an MLC toy!
That's rather un-gentlemanly, and un-sportsmanlike of you to inform us of such, without any apparent attempt to share pictures of the same.
If you don't mind my saying so.

It's not mine, y'know...
Of course.
I know.
 ;)
Was just hoping.....for some pics...

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #243 on: April 03, 2016, 08:18:54 pm »
Christ! You lot are really selling this camping lark...

That's not camping, that's festivals.  Totally different tent-related badger.   :hand:

Definitely this.  I love camping, but was once conviced against my better judgement to go to a festival in the middle of a camping holiday in Wales once.  It was supposed to be a decent family friendly one too.  Utter shithole.  Bears no resemblance to camping as most normally experience it.  Different strokes for different folks, but they have about as much in common as riding a bike and driving a car because you do both on the road.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #244 on: April 03, 2016, 09:28:18 pm »
Exactly.  While camping *can* be done in ways that necessitate unconventional arrangements for the disposal of urine, it tends not to come as an unwelcome public surprise.    :sick:

(You know you're middle aged when this sort of thing starts to creep up your list of priorities.)
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #245 on: April 04, 2016, 05:19:48 am »
First time at Glastonbury I popped my head out of the tent one morning to see a girl doing a piss right there. Skirt up, knickers down, full on and going for glory. I have no idea why though I rather wished she wasn't (that kind of thing isn't my thing, trust me). The shock of my appearance made her fall back in the mud mid-stream. I'm not sure which of us was most traumatised by the experience, but fortunately only the one of us suffered the indignity of lying in the mud spraying piss over ourselves. I bet she wished she had independent targeting control about then. She stumbled off, knickers half mast. Or slithered, owing to the fact everything was already six inch deep in mud. There was no classy escape from that situation.

'84 ?

Nope, probably mid-to-late 90s. I remember one was apocalyptically muddy. People sank and were never seen again. It made the First World War look like a weekend at Butlins. Bono spontaneously formed a celebrity charity to help those afflicted. Another time the sun came out. And stayed out. People were running around in flames like vampires in search of factor 1000. A bottle of Ambre Solaire got you anything. Drugs. Toilet paper. Sex. The US presidency.

To explain Ms Wee-a-lot, she was in the tent next door and I guess really, really needed to go. Well I suppose she demonstrated that. She was actually quite attractive but once you've seen the object of your desire lie in the mud and piss on themselves, it's one of those images that stick and no amount of mental cleansing, tight tops and short skirts can shift.
!nataS pihsroW

Torslanda

  • Professional Gobshite
  • Just a tart for retro kit . . .
    • John's Bikes
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #246 on: April 04, 2016, 09:23:58 am »
Some people like that sort of thing. There are websites.

I'm told...
VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

citoyen

  • Cat 6 Racer
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #247 on: April 04, 2016, 09:39:05 am »
Some people like that sort of thing. There are websites.

I'm told...

Rule 34 applies.

I had a similar experience on an audax last year - rounding a bend on a short, steep climb, I encountered a young lady who had been caught short while out for a walk in the country. She had her back to me so didn't realise at first, until I bid her a cheery good afternoon. Luckily for her, she didn't fall over in the mud.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #248 on: April 04, 2016, 10:22:38 am »
It actually got worse, after that event I decided to go empty myself. Given the queue for the official loo, I hopped across to a more leafy unofficial toilet. Around the hedgerow I go, quickly completing the pre-pee checklist and, well, I guess it's just more difficult to be subtle you're female. Either that or as a man I'm used to just pissing everywhere and anywhere. We're just walking talking mobile power washers. Excuse me she says. It probably wouldn't have been so bad had the momentary surprise not frozen me in position with my hand thrust deep inside my trousers. Not one of my better moments. It might have been several seconds. Possibly a minute or two.

The other year we surprised a cyclist on Ranmore Common engaging in the same activity (about ten metres away there are trees, and not sure why she was advertising her activity to the entire bear-fearing population of Surrey). I probable don't need to tell you that there's no quick way to get back into all that Lycra. So we stole her bike. (Ok I didn't, but I could have been in Dorking before she'd redressed).
!nataS pihsroW

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #249 on: April 04, 2016, 11:51:47 am »
Shewees are a great invention.
Getting there...