Author Topic: You know you're middle aged when  (Read 84586 times)

Pingu

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Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #450 on: November 23, 2017, 06:47:48 pm »
I got offered a seat on the train the other day :(

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 :P

T42

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Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #451 on: November 25, 2017, 02:28:35 pm »
You spend an hour looking for a camera then remember you gave it away six months ago.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

TheLurker

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Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #452 on: November 25, 2017, 05:04:18 pm »
You forget a PIN you have been using several times a week for over 36 years and have to ring the bank (oh and wasn't that _fun_?) to get it unlocked.
Τα πιο όμορφα ταξίδια γίνονται με τις δικές μας δυνάμεις - Φίλοι του Ποδήλατου

T42

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Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #453 on: November 26, 2017, 09:36:30 am »
I usually do that on a Sunday. Our bank closes from Sat. lunchtime until Tuesday.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Dormant but requires tea
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #454 on: December 05, 2017, 07:56:57 pm »
Quote
Here was he, as young as ever; envying young people their summer time and the rest of it and more than suspecting that shift in the whole pyramidal accumulation which in his youth had seemed immovable.
So middle aged is when you're "as young as ever" but nevertheless can envy young people, and realize that things ain't what they used to be. (He's in his early 50s and it's about 1925.)
The unwilling rider and the one who leaves each control in turn without reluctance, with no desire to come back, obviously cannot be making the same journey, even though their brevets are identical.

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #455 on: December 05, 2017, 08:13:00 pm »
What's middle aged, 40 to 60?

Or 65-85, as some of the replies seem to suggest?

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #456 on: December 05, 2017, 11:13:17 pm »
Regarding the old Warlord comics:
I seem to remember getting those whilst I was in mid-primary school ( mid-'70s ), on account of a friend being from an RAF family, and he was quite into that kind of stuffs.

I remember joining up to the 'club', and getting a little plastic wallet through the post with a top-secret membership card and a code-sheet.
Every week, the comic had a page from the HQ, from the Top Dude who went by the name of Lord Peter Flint, IIRC.
There was always a secret message to be decoded, and it helpfully told you whether it was encoded in 'Letter Code 1', 'Letter Code 2', 'Number Code 1', or Number Code 2'.

Can't remember what any of the messages were, tho!
The word Peter means Stone.

I think that was the one you had to decode to join the club. That would have been 1973/4.
L'enfer, c'est les autos.

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #457 on: December 05, 2017, 11:18:32 pm »
Oh, and to answer the question: You're training a nearly-solicitor who wasn't born when the Berlin Wall came down.
L'enfer, c'est les autos.

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #458 on: December 06, 2017, 07:13:04 am »
Regarding the old Warlord comics:
I seem to remember getting those whilst I was in mid-primary school ( mid-'70s ), on account of a friend being from an RAF family, and he was quite into that kind of stuffs.

I remember joining up to the 'club', and getting a little plastic wallet through the post with a top-secret membership card and a code-sheet.
Every week, the comic had a page from the HQ, from the Top Dude who went by the name of Lord Peter Flint, IIRC.
There was always a secret message to be decoded, and it helpfully told you whether it was encoded in 'Letter Code 1', 'Letter Code 2', 'Number Code 1', or Number Code 2'.

Can't remember what any of the messages were, tho!
The word Peter means Stone.

I think that was the one you had to decode to join the club. That would have been 1973/4.

The I-Spy Club anyone? I seem to remember OHUD NUTINGO was the coded version of "Good Hunting"

Guy

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Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #459 on: December 06, 2017, 08:19:59 am »
When you left skool the year before the girl* who is flirting with you was born!


*early 30s :o
What duck?

citoyen

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Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #460 on: December 06, 2017, 10:33:15 am »
When you left skool the year before the girl* who is flirting with you was born!

*early 30s :o

I was talking to a young female colleague at an office party a while ago, feeling flattered by her enthusiasm for my company even though I had no intention of taking advantage of her good nature...

Started to feel a bit weird when I realised she was only a few years older than my son.

Never mind leaving school, I graduated from uni before she was born.

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #461 on: December 06, 2017, 11:49:11 am »
What's middle aged, 40 to 60?

Or 65-85, as some of the replies seem to suggest?

That leaves me in limbo (or would if the Vatican hadn't abolished it).

Mr Larrington

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Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #462 on: December 06, 2017, 05:36:49 pm »
Like the Finn in one of William Gibson's novels telling some young whippersnapper "I've got shoes older than you", it occurred to me in the Gulag that I was wearing a jumper older than some of my fellow zeks.
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Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #463 on: December 06, 2017, 05:48:11 pm »
What's middle aged, 40 to 60?

Or 65-85, as some of the replies seem to suggest?

Ten years older than the person answering, shirley?

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #464 on: December 06, 2017, 05:55:03 pm »
When you remember the colleague taking maternity leave and the cause of said maternity leave is now also a colleague.
"No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everybody on the couch."

fuzzy (retd.) AAGE

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Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #465 on: December 07, 2017, 10:30:16 am »
When you get your enema by post.....
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mattc

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Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #466 on: December 07, 2017, 10:32:39 am »
When you remember one of your colleagues going on maternity leave and are now working with the result.

When you remember the colleague taking maternity leave and the cause of said maternity leave is now also a colleague.


I'll just leave that there ...
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---------
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Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #467 on: December 07, 2017, 10:36:53 am »
What's middle aged, 40 to 60?

Or 65-85, as some of the replies seem to suggest?

35-58, apparently. :'(

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/news/7458147/Middle-age-begins-at-35-and-ends-at-58.html

ian

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Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #468 on: December 07, 2017, 10:43:01 am »
When you left skool the year before the girl* who is flirting with you was born!

*early 30s :o

I was talking to a young female colleague at an office party a while ago, feeling flattered by her enthusiasm for my company even though I had no intention of taking advantage of her good nature...

Started to feel a bit weird when I realised she was only a few years older than my son.

Never mind leaving school, I graduated from uni before she was born.

Heh, this happened to me not so long ago (sales conference, your honour). Kiss out of nowhere and a hand where! Right there, that's where! I'd like to say my first feeling was lust but after a geological era of marriage it was mostly abject terror. I've no real idea what to do with a woman who was taking her tentative steps into her twenties. There's probably a manual for these newer models but I never read the things (it's true, he never did, says my wife). While I confess to being flattered (trust me it doesn't happen often), rather than a night of torrid adultery in a hotel bed, I moved her hand somewhere more sensible and made some excuses (read babble). I still work with her and fortunately what happens at sales conferences stays at sales conferences.
!nataS pihsroW

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #469 on: December 07, 2017, 01:06:53 pm »
When you get your enema by post.....
How does that work?

Do you have to back up to the letter box?
L'enfer, c'est les autos.

PaulF

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Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #470 on: December 07, 2017, 01:15:47 pm »
When you get your enema by post.....

Our postie is very obliging and will put things round the back if we're out, but I doubt that he'd do it in that way  for us.  :demon:

Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #471 on: December 07, 2017, 01:29:36 pm »
You get excited when your pension statements arrive which show that you should have a reasonably comfortable life when retirement finally arrives....  ;D

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hellymedic

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Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #472 on: December 07, 2017, 03:59:56 pm »
When you get your enema by post.....

55th birthday present? I remember getting mine (4 years ago).

Cudzoziemiec

  • Dormant but requires tea
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #473 on: December 07, 2017, 04:16:16 pm »
Middle aged begins when you start doing middle-aged things, like buying a house, getting a serious job, a serious partner, having kids, wearing suits and ties (or their feminine equivalents) on a regular basis.
The unwilling rider and the one who leaves each control in turn without reluctance, with no desire to come back, obviously cannot be making the same journey, even though their brevets are identical.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: You know you're middle aged when
« Reply #474 on: December 07, 2017, 04:44:50 pm »
Middle aged begins when you start doing middle-aged things...

I feel the need to grade myself.

Quote
like buying a house

Crap, you have me. Nearly paid for as well. And it's a palace. Of gleaming asbestos. And there's a route to Hell under the hallway floorboards.

Quote
getting a serious job

I draw kittens. Sometimes giraffes. Today I'm being abstract and drawing circles with lines coming out of them. I do get paid more than Nigel Farage and I'm possibly more useful.

Quote
a serious partner

She's not very serious but she does pull that face when I do something especially stupid. Which is daily.

Quote
having kids

Complete failure. Hate the little proto-Hitlers.

Quote
wearing suits and ties (or their feminine equivalents)

Tidy-Haired Thought Leadership™ is something you can do in corduroy. Or a dress. I'd think prefer the latter, frocks are more stylish but with the Beard of Authority® it might transgress the boundaries of odd.
!nataS pihsroW