Author Topic: the food rant thread  (Read 100835 times)

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: the food rant thread
« Reply #1550 on: May 16, 2019, 04:59:05 pm »
Bud never did have any taste.
You'd be weiser to choose a different variety.
sideways bounding monkey lounging under fruit tree

Re: the food rant thread
« Reply #1551 on: May 17, 2019, 03:24:52 pm »
I used to hate school milk, point blank refused to drink it. Still can't stomach milk in it's liquid form



I was brought up on a dairy farm so as far as I was concerned milk came straight from the cow, through the cooler and direct into our milk jug.
When presented with school milk in a glass bottle, I refused to believe that it was real milk.
The milk monitor at school was called Brian. He was Alf Garnett in miniature.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: the food rant thread
« Reply #1552 on: May 17, 2019, 06:06:29 pm »
If it went through the cooler before your milk jug, I know people who'd say that's not straight from the cow. I expect some people would say the same about the jug, but they're weird.
sideways bounding monkey lounging under fruit tree

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: the food rant thread
« Reply #1553 on: May 17, 2019, 06:11:24 pm »
If it went through the cooler before your milk jug, I know people who'd say that's not straight from the cow. I expect some people would say the same about the jug, but they're weird.

To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
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Re: the food rant thread
« Reply #1554 on: May 17, 2019, 06:14:57 pm »
 ;D
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: the food rant thread
« Reply #1555 on: May 28, 2019, 12:48:02 pm »
Sandwiches again. We're British, we invented the bloody things, so why is every bloody sandwich in this country so uniformly awful? Firstly, panini. Now everyone likes a toasted sandwich. In theory. But squashing some bread that must be the weird cousin of ciabatta that the rest of the bread family don't like to talk about. And filling it with things that really don't like to be toasted like lettuce. And who thinks 'this cheap mayonnaise is lovely, if only it were hotter?' Assuming it gets that hot, and you don't get two slippers of hot chewy bread and a lukewarm middle that slides apart on a sea of congealed mayo. Honorary mention at this point to my earlier post about the cheese panini that someone thought fit to improve by the addition of cheese sauce, which is like making a sandwich with soup.

Toasting a bad sandwich doesn't make it better. It makes it worse. Oh and you get pre-striped panini, so you pretend it's been grilled.

And then cold sandwiches. Partly I blame the fear of butter that gripped the nation, so for some reason there are industrial quantities of cheap mayonnaise everywhere. It's like a cunning wheeze to get rid of some tribological byproduct. No seriously, a single branch of Pret alone must get through tonnes of mayonnaise in any given day. And don't get me going on vegan mayonnaise which is like mayonnaise that has given up even trying. Decent mayonnaise is peppery and lively, and added in gently sandwich enlivening amounts, not by the deadening bucketload, so it oozes out over your fingers like an embarrassing accident. I don't know what happened, it doesn't normally do that so quickly.

Oh and 'rationing' sandwich. Now I appreciate there's a segment of the great British public who still yearns for the days of post-war rationing but really, I don't want my blitz spirit served to be between two slices of ersatz sliced oaf for lunch. You know the rationed sandwich by its anaemic pallor and anorexic proportions, the single lonely slice of reformed ham shivering between the bread, the thin smear of margarine so cheap that it doesn't even manage to get the colour right. Cheese comes in more plentiful proportions, but don't get too excited, it won't taste of anything other than disappointment.

Honestly, why can't I just get a decent French baguette, buttered with some actual cheese in this country?
!nataS pihsroW

Re: the food rant thread
« Reply #1556 on: May 28, 2019, 01:03:52 pm »
Given that you won't get a decent French baguette, one of the better old style-ish sandwich shop that will make what you want in the Southbank vicinity is here. Their downside is that they must have had an american train them for their bap filling technique. A couple of doors away you can find the best (local) fry up. (best, assuming you don't venture further south into the badlands)

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: the food rant thread
« Reply #1557 on: May 28, 2019, 02:10:05 pm »
Honestly, why can't I just get a decent French baguette, buttered with some actual cheese in this country?

Chorleywood.
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: the food rant thread
« Reply #1558 on: May 28, 2019, 02:16:24 pm »
Tbh, I do like those remaining sandwich places, far better than the chains, there is one opposite the mothership. Back when I used to work in Bloomsbury we had a place nearby known colloquially as Tummy Ache Titos which used to do sandwiches so good that they almost made up for the occasional incidences of food poisoning. And there was Camp David, so named because for some reason they blasted out Erasure every morning and offered a free innuendo with every sausage sandwich.

That said, I mostly live off fruit for lunch. The most recent disappointment was trying to find somewhere in Croydon when we changed trains on Saturday. Ended up with Upper Crust which was basically tasteless cheese, tomato and mayonnaise on a baguette that was so offensive the French would probably start and lose a war over. Oh, and 'light mayonnaise' as though I wasn't already insulted enough. The only saving grace was that they hadn't deposited the entire jar of pretend mayo on it. Instead the moisture from the signature tasteless tomatoes had soaked into the bread to result in a guaranteed damp and clammy mouthful. And I'm sure you'll agree, that 'damp and clammy' is not the slogan you'd want applied to a sandwich.
!nataS pihsroW

caerau

  • SR x 3 - PBP fail but 1090 km - hey - not too bad
Re: the food rant thread
« Reply #1559 on: May 28, 2019, 02:22:47 pm »
And I'm sure you'll agree, that 'damp and clammy' is not the slogan you'd want applied to a sandwich.


Especially a sausage sandwich  :-D


IGMC
It's a reverse Elvis thing.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: the food rant thread
« Reply #1560 on: May 28, 2019, 05:45:29 pm »
none of this makes me sorry that I have an excuse for not eating sandwiches
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: the food rant thread
« Reply #1561 on: May 28, 2019, 06:20:13 pm »
Honestly, why can't I just get a decent French baguette, buttered with some actual cheese in this country?

Chorleywood.
Cheddar.
https://www.cooksinfo.com/government-cheddar-cheese
sideways bounding monkey lounging under fruit tree

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: the food rant thread
« Reply #1562 on: May 28, 2019, 06:29:24 pm »
Honestly, why can't I just get a decent French baguette, buttered with some actual cheese in this country?

Chorleywood.
Cheddar.
https://www.cooksinfo.com/government-cheddar-cheese

Margarine, OTOH, appears to be mostly French people's fault, with more than a little help by the USAnians.
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: the food rant thread
« Reply #1563 on: May 28, 2019, 06:42:54 pm »
I still think the free vegan felafel, hummus & harissa sandwich David brought back from his GWR excursion to Didcot on Friday was rather good.

He liked it too.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: the food rant thread
« Reply #1564 on: May 28, 2019, 06:48:41 pm »
Everyone knows butter makes things better, so why are sandwich makers terrified of it, to the extent they'll empty an entire supertanker of mayonnaise onto a sandwich in an attempt to compensate? And don't say it's because they care about vegetarians, because they don't, they'll happily serve up a wrap filled with straw and yoghurt.
!nataS pihsroW

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: the food rant thread
« Reply #1565 on: May 28, 2019, 07:23:56 pm »
TBH, if the sandwich ingredients are decent, it doesn't need additional slime.
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: the food rant thread
« Reply #1566 on: May 28, 2019, 07:24:11 pm »
Too temperature sensitive? It would be rock hard in the chilled displays and then start oozing out unappetisingly before you get round to eating it in your overheated office.
sideways bounding monkey lounging under fruit tree

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: the food rant thread
« Reply #1567 on: May 28, 2019, 07:44:09 pm »
Surely if you use a standard amount of butter it'll be fine. Well, I know it's fine, I've eaten sandwiches made with butter and prepared and sold by people who presumably haven't taken advanced degrees is butter preparation and serving.

I think you by-and-large need something on the bread-filling interface or you too often get the soggy bread effect or the converse, something arid and inedible. Americans seem to get around the entire terror of butter issue with industrial quantities of cheese on every kind of sandwich. To be honest, they put so much filling in a sandwich, bread really is an afterthought and only there to stop you stuffing literal fistfuls of meat into your gaping, salivating maw. This is, of course, the antithesis of the British 'rationing' sandwich, which is basically two slices of Chorleywood's finest draped around a whispered excuse of a filling.

Butter that, motherfuckers is going to be my future catchphrase.
!nataS pihsroW

citoyen

  • Cat 6 Racer
Re: the food rant thread
« Reply #1568 on: May 29, 2019, 02:42:47 pm »
Given that you won't get a decent French baguette, one of the better old style-ish sandwich shop that will make what you want in the Southbank vicinity is here. Their downside is that they must have had an american train them for their bap filling technique. A couple of doors away you can find the best (local) fry up. (best, assuming you don't venture further south into the badlands)

Ah, Frank's! When I was working in the Blue Fin, we had a team tradition of bacon rolls from Frank's al desko every Friday morning. Happy days.

I know the sandwich shop but I never went in there in all my seven years of working there. Sounds like I missed out.

However, my favourite sandwich shop in the whole of That London - which I may have mentioned before - is Rive Gauche in Warren Street. This was the lunch venue of choice in the late 90s when I was working nearby, and was a favourite of Fay Maschler, who lives just round the corner in Fitzroy Square. They reputedly introduced the concept of the mini-baguette to the UK, and they make them themselves (though I'm not sure if they actually bake them on the premises) - so yes, they were actually decent, authentic baguettes.

I was over that way not so long ago and pleased to discover that it is still going strong - and totally unchanged, even down to the same little old bonnes mamans making the sandwiches. Definitely worth visiting if you're in the area.

ETA - I just checked, and in fact it seems it closed down in 2016, so it can't have been as recent as I thought that I was last over that way:
https://news.fitzrovia.org.uk/2016/06/26/cafe-bids-au-revoir-to-warren-street/

That's a real shame.  :'(

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: the food rant thread
« Reply #1569 on: July 30, 2019, 10:33:17 am »
I've probably said this before but

BRITISH RESTAURANTS, I WANT BREAD WITH MY FOOD.

FREE BREAD.


You stingy fuckers. I sit at a table, I want bread and butter brought to me. More if I want it. I don't want to be told it's on the menu and will cost four quid.
!nataS pihsroW

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: the food rant thread
« Reply #1570 on: August 12, 2019, 12:38:17 pm »
See, in Lyon, free (and good) bread everywhere we went. As the Lord intended. French food can be (and often is) overrated but they certainly, as a nation, know how to eat. Though I was reading an article the other week that said les Frenchies are on their way to becoming a consummate nation of fast food scoffers – Quickie burgers and supermarket baguettes, the horror. And the expanding waistlines. Still, good to see (if less good to inhale) they're still trying to smoke their way out of the problem.

In other rants – yesterday we grabbed lunch at Maltby St market in that London, and wandering by one of the drinking establishments in the arches stopped for a drink with our meal. Only to be pounced on by the chap running a concession inside and be told we couldn't eat 'outside' food in there. OK, to be fair, if they want to do that, then fine, it's their funeral, but put a fucking sign up stating this because we don't have psychic powers. And I don't get it – these places ought to thrive on the fact they have a street market next door (and generally have, encouraging people to wander in with their food for an accompanying beer, which is what we mistakenly did). We already had food so really, unless your business is the food, there's really no value discouraging custom on that basis. And if your business is the food, well, probably not the best plan to open by a famous street food market.

Anyway, I might have been a bit bolshy, but it got us a free beer*.

*that said, the food guy just grabbed it from the fridge, so I'm not entirely sure it was legitimate, I presume he's separate from the bar. But hey, free beer.
!nataS pihsroW