the food rant thread

[Ham]

I will attempt to replicate with my spice collection.

My Mexican spice mix (which I use for anything however you fold it)is based around the following-ish mix

2:Garlic powder
2:Onion Powder
2: Cumin
1: Coriander
1: Oregano (or not)
1: Chili Powder(or less)
1: Cayenne (or less)
1: Paprika (or not)

I don't use salt at all.

HTH

[ian]

That's pretty much my plan, but it's a definite yes on paprika and oregano.

[T42]

Look, I had a five hour drive ahead of me followed by the double horror of O'Hare airport and airline food.  Anything to stoke up for the famine ahead

My arms still whimper at the memory of sprinting through O'Hare with 10 minutes to make a connection back in the days when suitcases with wheels were those new-fangled things.

[ian]

I once got stuck behind a planet-sized lady with her own atmosphere of velour in the underground walkway between terminals at O'Hare while I was trying to dash for a plane. Less of a wardrobe, more of an upholstery. I could feel the prickle of static 10 metres away. Excuse me, excuse me, I said, in that very British way, while trying to ease past in a way that didn't bring out the van der Graaf of all that synthetic fibre. What's your hurry? she replies. I'm running through an airport, what do you think? It's not a bloody fitness regime is it.

Hell for me will involve an eternity stuck behind someone standing on a moving walkway.

[fuzzy]

They ran out of sausages (or rather the pale USAnian facsimiles of same) at breakfast just now.  I shall write a Stern Letter to Nice Mr Obambi before he's out on his ear.

Any man who contends that it is not an heretical act to eat Xmas mince pies at times other than in their due season (which being late December until very early January - mid Jan at a push if the dearly beloved has over-catered) deserves all the victual and gastronomic related distress that shall be his lot. Yea, verily here endeth the lesson.  Vengeance is mine saith the Lord. ect ect ect

The lack of ANY product in a Left Pondian breakfast buffet is a matter of grave importance, whether one utilises it or not.

Particularly if it is of the carbohydrate and syrup stock OR the crispy baconish goodness to dump on top.

[ian]

Now I'm hungry for a big pile of blueberry pancakes slowly drowning in a small ocean of maple syrup while sausages, bacon, and home fries look on from the side of plate – horrified! – knowing the same sticky fate awaits them. Nomalicious.

One of my colleagues had the temerity to declare my breakfast unhealthy. So I tipped her fruit salad on top. Ta-da! It's got blueberries anyway and maple syrup is squeezed out of trees (by bears).

[mrcharly-YHT]

I'm not fond of beef and IMO opinion, it is overpriced.

There is only me and the youngest in the house, so I thought I'd treat him to a beefburger, bought him a couple of hereford pure beefburgers. They looked to be make of decent meat.

2" thick. How ruddy ridiculous, impossible to cook through without overcooking the outside. I pretty much gave up, good thing he likes his meat bleeding. FFS.

I get that there is a fashion for just frightening a steak with a warm match, actually, ideally it should be still mooing, but a burger made of ground meat needs cooking. 2" thick is just too thick to cook through without charcoaling a third of it.

[Ham]

I'm not fond of beef and IMO opinion, it is overpriced.

There is only me and the youngest in the house, so I thought I'd treat him to a beefburger, bought him a couple of hereford pure beefburgers. They looked to be make of decent meat.

2" thick. How ruddy ridiculous, impossible to cook through without overcooking the outside. I pretty much gave up, good thing he likes his meat bleeding. FFS.

I get that there is a fashion for just frightening a steak with a warm match, actually, ideally it should be still mooing, but a burger made of ground meat needs cooking. 2" thick is just too thick to cook through without charcoaling a third of it.

OK, 2" (if that's not a slight exaggeration) is thick, if there were a line I'd draw it around 30-35mm when it will cook properly, but actually it doesn't need cooking - think steak tartare. Of course as with any thick steak it is important you take it out the fridge and let it reach room temperature first.

[hatler]

Hmmmm. There is a view which is that burgers should be cooked all the way through.

[mrcharly-YHT]

steak tartare is treated with alcohol - that's an antibacterial - and you prep it yourself. [edit] on looking it up, it seems steak tartare doesn't usually have alcohol. I've only made it once, and that recipe included brandy. However all the recipes warn about the dangers of bacterial food poisoning, which I think says it all!

Hatler, I think that article says it all.

There is another burger to cook. I think I'll slice this one in half, cook both halves, then put some gerkins and cheese in the middle before reassembling.

[pcolbeck]

I get that there is a fashion for just frightening a steak with a warm match, actually, ideally it should be still mooing, but a burger made of ground meat needs cooking. 2" thick is just too thick to cook through without charcoaling a third of it.

You can but you have to do it in the oven not a frying pan. Cook it on a lower heat for longer.

[Ham]

Hmmmm. There is a view which is that burgers should be cooked all the way through.

And, let's face it, you are probably best advised to wear a h*lm*t to make certain you don't crack your head open on that cupboard door.

Attitude to food poisoning should be an informed continuum where you consider all factors including your own state of health, appetite for risk and appetite for the food in question. Personally I will continue eating my beef rare/blue most times. That does NOT include your average pub or burger bar. I will continue to make my own steak hache from time to time and serve it rare, anything else is sacrilege. I aten't ded yet. I also wouldn't consider trying to persuade anyone to have it cooked other than they would like it and (shuddering at the memory) I have even cooked fillet steak well done as a consequence.

[ian]

Probably the best burger I had was in France and that had been less cooked than briefly left somewhere warm to reach room temperature and then seared. Probably by a chef who didn't wash his hands after the loo (hey, it's France). I'm not generally a fan of raw stuff (I wouldn't normally order a tartare, and raw fish is bletchworthy extreme), but it was something else. Every other burger thereafter has been a disappointment.

I'm not convinced the well-kept meat minced in a clean kitchen with clean utensils is a threat. Notably, salad is the most common cause of E coli outbreaks. Of course, ordering a rare burgers from the place proudly displaying a FSA rating of 1 is probably less than wise.

[rafletcher]

raw fish is bletchworthy extreme

Ah, bring back memories of a recent business trip to Italy (to an area aboyt 70km north of Venice). There were three of us, and we were asked whether we would prefer meat of fish for dinner. As we had a non-meat eater in our group, fish was the default.

The first course was a single oyster gratin. very nice "amuse bouche" (no idea of the equivalent in Italian).

The next 4 "courses" were all raw fish and seafood, including several varieties of prawns, the nicest of which were the red Prawns.

It was an experience, though not one I'm that keen to repeat. I guess my palette isn't discriminating enough to taste the subtle differences between sea bass, turbot, swordfish etc when served raw. Very filling though, as the meal was 100% protein!

[ian]

I can't do sushi or sashimi, the texture of raw fish weirds me, and confess it all tastes like identical chewy cold stuff or some other form of nasty sea squick. I even have to cook smoked salmon and don't even fucking think of serving me tuna that is just cooked on the outside.

[fuzzy]

I can't do sushi or sashimi, the texture of raw fish weirds me, and confess it all tastes like identical chewy cold stuff or some other form of nasty sea squick. I even have to cook smoked salmon and don't even fucking think of serving me tuna that is just cooked on the outside.

So a Dutch (raw) herring and onion roll is not on the menu then?

[ian]

I can't do sushi or sashimi, the texture of raw fish weirds me, and confess it all tastes like identical chewy cold stuff or some other form of nasty sea squick. I even have to cook smoked salmon and don't even fucking think of serving me tuna that is just cooked on the outside.

So a Dutch (raw) herring and onion roll is not on the menu then?

Well, that's pickled so sort-of cooked though I'm still not a big fan of the texture. Fishy things in general I'm a bit meh about.

[citoyen]

It's a constant source of disappointment to me when places serving what purport to be posh burgers refuse to serve them rare. Makes me wonder why they don't trust their kitchen. Never have that problem in France, of course.

Ian, I'm totally the opposite to you when it comes to tuna - hate it when it's cooked all the way through, it just goes dry and fibrous. Needs to be just seared on the outside and still raw in the middle. Only works when the tuna is absolutely fresh though.

[Mrs Pingu]

I don't really like the texture of meat that much, unless it's bloody as hell.  See also why I like my tuna pink.
Yes, I know I'm weird.

I really liked the burgers at the Boozy Cow in Aberdeen until the FSA got all nanny on us and made them start cooking them all the way through.  No way I'm eating them now. 

[ian]

Girl on the train. Breakfast seems to be two industrial bags of Monster Munch (pickled onion and beef) intermixed with a family sized bar of Dairy Milk. Washed down with full fat coke. I hate to think what dinner is. Is this what happens in the movie?

[hellymedic]

Dunno ian. When I was younger, I ate Much Junk when travelling, mostly because it was available and not perishable.
I consumed MUCH less junk when not travelling.

[barakta]

If you see me out and about you'd think I mainlined full fat coke, when actually I almost never drink fizzy drinks at home.

No one ever comments on the calorific intake of someone drinking 5 pints which is probably even more calorific and pointless than that lady's breakfast and not a heavy night out for many people. The "always on a diet" women at work who freaked out about ALLTHECALORIES constantly used to tell me I was lucky I could eat what I liked and be thin (in women code, telling me my lunch was calorific and baad) while talking about buying 4-6 bottles of wine a week in the supermarket for them+spouse which easily totalled more calories a day each than my lunch. There was no reasoning with them, no pointing out the futility of their diet bollocks as they starved themselves and filled up with empty wine calories (while their weight yoyoed constantly) or indeed the toxicity of their judging everyone else's food.

[Kim]

I bet it's not proper Monster Munch, like we had in the 80s.

[hellymedic]

I think there's a Time And Place for Naughty Foods. YMMV but whatever, they should not usually be part of the daily diet.

IMO they're great for travelling and parties.

(I'd really quite like some vegetable crisps but they are too pricy for my mean streak!)

[ian]

Well, she wasn't drinking five pints of lager (which to be fair is a reasonable coping strategy for Southern's attempt to run a train service). Her face was a demented cement mixer of Monster Munch and chocolate, loudly churning away. She did all this while maintaining a phone call. Well, I say maintaining, she was basically broadcasting her mastication. For those of us trapped in the first class cubical, we had it in glorious surround sound. Imagine listening to giant squid having a vigorous orgy in a huge vat of jelly and you're somewhere close to the aural horror I was subjected to.

Anyway, even given Southern's timetabling you don't actually need to bring aboard that much additional food to get from Purley Oaks to London Bridge.

On the plus side, I think pickled onion Monster Munch qualify as one of your five a day.