Author Topic: Today's SPAM  (Read 36889 times)

contango

  • NB have not grown beard since photo was taken
  • The Fat And The Furious
Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #25 on: January 16, 2016, 05:36:50 am »

Meh. Not worth getting out of bed for a sum that's not even a million dollars. The best one I got was from a representative of a dead Nigerian prince who was going to give me a generous cut of $400,000,000. I think my share was going to be $240,000,000. Sadly I hit the delete button instead of the reply button. Oh well... these Nigerian princes seem to have a remarkably high death rate so I'm sure another one will be along soon.
Always carry a small flask of whisky in case of snakebite. And, furthermore, always carry a small snake.

Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #26 on: January 17, 2016, 10:31:54 am »
Oh bol****cks. My non-existent Apple iCloud account has been closed again. What will I do with my life now I no longer have an iCloud account I never had in the first place? I know. I'll spend ages trying to recover the 0 bytes of data I'd stored.  ??? ::-)

This time it was a phishing attempt inviting me to log in via iaccountscheck.net to enter my full details (different domain in the sender's email address). No doubt a reasonably convincing web form, not that I'm going to go there as I don't want to risk a drive-by download.  :hand:

Duly forwarded, with full headers, to reportphishing@apple.com

I'm sure I've reported these before and I can't be the only recipient who has done that. How come I'm still receiving them?
We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. We should do twice as much listening as talking.

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #27 on: January 17, 2016, 11:26:45 am »
I'm sure I've reported these before and I can't be the only recipient who has done that. How come I'm still receiving them?

I don't think the law will permit the Mega-Global Fruit Corporation of Cupertino, USAnia's representatives to go round to the scammers' house with a MAC-10.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #28 on: January 17, 2016, 11:56:20 am »
The address I've received these emails from, and the URL they want me to visit, has not changed for at least a year. Possibly longer.

While sending the Marines (or the SAS in burqas) round might be a little unlikely they could, at least, have launched a drone attack after all this time.

I've just checked my spam folder online. It seems I have 48 hours to update my PayPal account details or I'll lose it. The URL they want me to click on looks as though it came out of a bag of Scrabble letters with random other characters thrown in so it must be a secure one. I'll trust that one ...  ::-)

We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. We should do twice as much listening as talking.

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #29 on: January 17, 2016, 12:13:23 pm »
My! Yahoo! mail! Account! is nearing its limit of 1GB; I am currently using 99.8 GB and therefore my account will be suspended if I don't give all my details to someone so thick they can't do basic arithmetic.

Daily, and that's just the ones that Yahoo! doesn't! filter! out!
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #30 on: January 17, 2016, 01:09:01 pm »
Reset my ebay account to overcome 'limitations'......
Get a bicycle. You will never regret it, if you live- Mark Twain

Steph

  • Fast. Fast and bulbous. But fluffy.
Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #31 on: January 18, 2016, 12:50:43 am »
Nigerian woman with big...(third name I've had on identical messages) saw my bookface profile and I'm a cute guy. Oh.
Mae angen arnaf i byw, a fe fydda'i

Maverick

  • One of the rural idle
    • Twoberries
Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #32 on: January 26, 2016, 09:17:41 am »
Oh come on, make an effort!! How many levels of fail can you get in one phishing email  :facepalm:


Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #33 on: January 26, 2016, 06:39:52 pm »
account_updates@amzon.co.co.uk.uk?  Fuckuck offff!
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #34 on: January 27, 2016, 08:24:46 am »
Had one yesterday from "HMRC" about my refund now they've finished my return  ::-)

And it came from an "Intertek.com" address, which is a real company - albeit totally unrelated to HMRC.
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

Steph

  • Fast. Fast and bulbous. But fluffy.
Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #35 on: February 01, 2016, 05:09:48 am »
Reef Johnson Senior
Accounting Officer
Nedbank Johannesburg
South Africa



   Dear Sir/Madam, I'm Reef Johnson, a Senior accounting officer to the one of the generation banks in South Africa(NedBank Plc). I am on quest for a business associate. I gather sources from the United States Embassy here in South Africa, I was directed to get into contact with you.




 On this business transaction. Hence, be rest assured all is pretty well. Earlier on 26/June/2014, A automobile crash that took along the south east of marula took the life of several individuals along the high way, having twenty one (11) body bags instantly dead (6) were brutally injured during the Auto crash incident which was piloted by a drinking driver at the hours of 10:00 On record to the sad event, sources confirmed, Late Engr Mr. Fred Horace, was involved along with his wife and other body bags during the auto crash attack.



 My prime purpose of contacting you, is for you to stand as a relative to Late Mr. Fred Horace, who was a contractual officer to South Africa. According to file, Late Mr. Fred Horace, had with Nedbank South Africa a sum of $18 million United state dollar and his Estate. As a matter of fact, all effort to locate his immediate family proved abortive since he was only here on a contract with the South Africa Govt, Federal Ministry of Work and Urban Development Council (FMWUDC) on a four years contract.



 Therefore, I am asking you to stand in as the NEXT OF KIN to the said fund. I will defend you to the bank. I have shared the percentage right of the Fund into this applicable ration, I will go with $42% and you will have 48% while the other 10% will to any charitable organization of our choice. I have before now done some underground work, to safe guard you through and after the finality of these transaction. Hence, do not panic. All will surely go in through. In conclusion, all I require of you is your maximum trust in honesty to enable us see this deal through.



Thus let use this opportunity wisely. On the other look of things, if you feel uncomfortable in helping me I will advice you divulge me so that we do not encounter any slow down while in progress.


Thank you

Yours' Faithfully

Reef Johnson
reef.johnson2@aol.com
Mae angen arnaf i byw, a fe fydda'i

Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #36 on: February 01, 2016, 11:39:21 pm »
USD18 mn in his bank account? That's a very well-paid government contract!
"A woman on a bicycle has all the world before her where to choose; she can go where she will, no man hindering." The Type-Writer Girl, 1897

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #37 on: February 02, 2016, 04:06:09 pm »
<<I really hope you get this fast. I could not inform anyone about our trip, because it was impromptu. we had to be in Philippines for Tour. The program was successful, but our journey has turned sour. we misplaced our wallet and cell phone on our way back to the hotel we lodge in after we went for sight seeing. The wallet contained all the valuables we had. Now, our passport is in custody of the hotel management pending when we make payment.
I am sorry if i am inconveniencing you, but i have only very few people to run to now. I will be indeed very grateful if i can get a short term loan from you ($4,300).  this will enable me sort our hotel bills and get my sorry self back home. I will really appreciate whatever you can afford in assisting me with. I promise to refund it in full as soon as soon as I return. let me know if you can be of any assistance. Please, let me know soonest.>>

 <<Pull the other one.

You've been hacked!>>

<<No, i sent it to you because i really need you to help me out, am sorry i never told you about this. Am sorry i never told you about it. I will pay back the money, i
am sorry if am inconveniencing you, but i have only very few people to run to now. I will be indeed very grateful if i can get a loan of $3,400 from you, this will
enable me sort our hotel bills and get my sorry self back home. I will really appreciate whatever. You can have the money wired to me via Western union. The
information you need is the name on my passport
and present location below:
Name: Jane Dwyer
Location: 1618 .M. hiron street Cruz 1004
Country: Manila Philippines
As soon as you are done with the transfer kindly get back to me with the western union details to pick up the money.
Thank you.>>

<<But the reply email address is NOT the original email address! This pathetic sob story has being doing the rounds on the internet for AGES.
I wasn't born yesterday and I've seen it half a dozen times before.
NOW FUCK OFF!>>

No further replies received. I wonder why??...

Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #38 on: February 02, 2016, 04:28:24 pm »
MrsC got one of those as a FB message. The person at the other end was convincing enough that she asked me what to do, although she did have her suspicions
"No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everybody on the couch."

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #39 on: February 02, 2016, 04:48:23 pm »
The first time I had one, I spoke to Bob Kynaston (who's been dead 3 years now) and asked him if Mike really WAS away on holiday. When he said they'd had lunch together the day before, I knew Mike had been hacked.

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #40 on: February 03, 2016, 08:02:15 am »
The first one I had was swiftly followed by a post to another Intertubes forum from the alleged victim saying that no, he wasn't stuck in Manila without any money or his passport, not least because he didn't have a passport to lose in the first place.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #41 on: February 05, 2016, 06:38:49 pm »
13 e-mails from Southern Railways, whom I have not done business with since before I had the Internets ???
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #42 on: February 06, 2016, 10:04:40 pm »
Re-reading my post upthread I see my poor friend wasn't even consistent about the money she 'needed'...

Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #43 on: February 07, 2016, 01:07:14 am »
Well, it's got all the same numbers in it ...

contango

  • NB have not grown beard since photo was taken
  • The Fat And The Furious
Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #44 on: February 07, 2016, 04:29:17 am »
Today my spam folder acquired some new emails:

Loan Offer Listings
Survival Things our Grandfathers built Around The House
Professional teeth whitening
Methods to regrow lost hair
Wow you're fat!
Obama is getting ready for WW3, are you?
6 different requests from PayPaI to confirm my identity (note the capital I on the end of PAYPAI)
A new magic game-changing golf wedge
and a warning that my power costs will increase unless I get an Apple ibox

Yesterday's spam collection included offers for a new garage floor, shed plans, home roofing, ways to achieve powerful female orgasms and fury among Big Pharma that a herbal cure for erectile dysfunction had been released.
Always carry a small flask of whisky in case of snakebite. And, furthermore, always carry a small snake.

Steph

  • Fast. Fast and bulbous. But fluffy.
Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #45 on: February 11, 2016, 09:56:14 pm »
Lots of WhatsApp and linkedin stuff, neither of which I have ever used, but then this one. LOVE the name!


ttn: Beneficiary,
 
I am Mr Jimmy West , the director of Diamond Bank Benin. This is to bring to your notice that my office has taking over all the money Transaction originated from any part of African/ Europe and Asia counties etc. as Contract payment,Fund inheritance or Lottery Winning due to Unauthorized/incapability of financial Institutions/security companies In releasing such huge sum of money due to Fraud, terrorist and money Laundry activities going on world wide.
 
The World Bank Group has Mandated the Diamond Bank Benin via my Office to release funds to beneficiaries through Cash delivery, Hence Your Name appears as one of The fund beneficiaries whom their fund was successfully cleared recently From Terrorist and Money laundry and your money will be released to you Through International Cashier's Bank Draft that will be cash able from any International Bank in your country or cash delivery been the only way you would receive Your money to avoid paying excess charges. As regard to this arrangement, you are advised to contact the telex director DR. SHITU ABUBAKAR through his direct email:( diamoudbank02@yahoo.es ) Contact DR. SHITU ABUBAKAR with the contact information below. Telex director Diamond bank Benin
 
name: DR. SHITU ABUBAKAR
Direct email:( diamoudbank02@yahoo.es )
DIRECT TEL: +229 98860041
 
You are therefore advised to forward your direct telephone numbers, Your complete name and your house address to DR. SHITU ABUBAKAR for Immediate
release of your fund to you Most importantly be aware that ($3.5Million Dollars) Only was allocated to you,
 
Be also informed that the Fund Approvals and authorization document Including Anti-terrorist Clearance Certificate was issued in your name and
has been handed over to DR.SHITU ABUBAKAR to release to you. Finally, DR.SHITU ABUBAKAR is standby to receive your communication and Release
your fund to you through Cash delivery without further delay. Make your contact directly to him through Email contact any time because we are
working 24 Hours to be able to meet with the mandate given by the World Bank,
 
Thanks for your maximum
cooperation. Mr Jimmy West



Shit you too, Jimmy. "Diamoud"?

Mae angen arnaf i byw, a fe fydda'i

Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #46 on: February 11, 2016, 11:26:56 pm »
Today's spam (well, strictly I know I'm on their mailing list) came from a well-known bike shop:

Quote
Subject: For the love of your life

So I forwarded it to her. Unfortunately, she noticed that it was from the Cycle Surgery. "That's a good idea," she said.  :o :hand:

I've hidden all my bikes.

Dibdib

  • Fat'n'slow
Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #47 on: April 20, 2016, 09:46:01 am »
Oh the irony...

Quote
  MR. IBRAHIM MUSTAFA MAGU. (CHAIRMAN)
                                                             ECONOMIC AND FINANCIAL CRIMES COMMISSION
                                                                 NIGERIA INVESTIGATION BUREAU
                                                                    14A AWOLOWO LANE, IKOYI
                                                                          LAGOS NIGERIA.
                                                                Motto: No Body is Above the LAW
                                                            ( BE CAREFUL OF THE HOODLUMS / SCAMMERS)
                                                                   Like the N/s from Nigeria!
ATTENTION: Beneficiary,
                                                                    BE CAREFUL OF THE HUDLOOM
Firstly we introduce this commission, Economic & Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) we fight cyber crime, Internet fraud, scam and money laundering in Africa and London United Kingdom Our commission has been in existences since 2004 and our duty is to stop internet fraud. We have over 7,500 of them in our jails around Africa and UK and we are still looking for these internet fraudsters and we are aware that a lot of foreigners have been deceived a huge amount of money has also been lost to this fraudsters after promising you percentages in their letters for you to help them move funds and they will end up demanding for money from you and in return you will get nothing.
The Leaders of the African Crime fighters has come together to inform the world what is going on now and we have recovered over $422 Million Dollars (Four Hundred and Twenty two Million Dollars) from the people we have apprehended. The reason we are writing you this letter is because your name was given to us by one of the fraudsters in our detention room after serious investigation and our aim is to refund all lost fund to its legitimate owner.
The Government has approved a total of ($2.5Million) only as the Compensation of the lost that you incurred as this was a ceiling rate as some suffered more while others suffered less to and the idea is to restore you back to the position that you would have been if not that you are defrauded. In addition to the compensation amount also approved in your favor is ($2.5Million) only will be paid to you in the next few days as the International conformable Draft has been issued in your favor?
We are doing this in other to retain the good image of this great country, the president (MR. IBRAHIM MUSTAFA MAGU) has instructed the payment of ($2.5Million) each to 200 victims both America Asia Europe Etc. Due to his political straightness, all that you have to do right now is to contact the undersigned furnish him with the following data of yours immediately as we intend finalizing this payment in few days time.
1) YOUR FULL NAME:................
2) YOUR FULL ADDRESS:...........
3) COUNTRY:.................
4) YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER:...........
5) YOUR OCCUPATION:...............
6) YOUR IDENTITY:...................
7) YOUR ID.....................
(HOW DO YOU WANT TO RECEIVE YOUR FUNDS)
 
(ATM CARD/ BANK TO BANK TRANSFER)
CONTACT PERSON: MR.JOHN WILL
 
CONTACT EMAIL ADDRESS: [snipped 'coz google]
Yours Sincerely,
MR. IBRAHIM MUSTAFA MAGU
CHAIRMAN ECONOMIC & FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION
15A Awolowo Road, Ikoyi, Lagos Nigeria.

Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #48 on: April 21, 2016, 09:57:30 am »
I don't receive these things any more.  Where am I going wrong? How can i climb back into the loop?
Sic transit and all that..

IanDG

  • The p*** artist formerly known as 'Windy'
    • My Instagram
Re: Today's SPAM
« Reply #49 on: May 18, 2016, 02:58:44 pm »
I'm due to appear in court apparently - papers and relevant documents are in a zip file

Dear Ian,

This is to inform you to appear in the Court on the May 25 for your case hearing.
Please, prepare all the documents relating to the case and bring them to Court on the specified date.
Note: If you do not come, the case will be heard in your absence.

You can review complete details of the Court Notice in the attachment.

Regards,
Mike Beard,
District Clerk.