Author Topic: The Apprentice 2015 thread  (Read 1884 times)

The Apprentice 2015 thread
« on: October 14, 2015, 08:06:31 pm »
Yes, they've found another 18 self-aggrandising morons who are even worse than the last lot.  The insane blonde trainer (isn't she a bit old to be an apprentice?) and the plumber with a sleazy spiv/Kid Creole pencil moustache are hioghlights for me but it's nice to watch a show where frankly, any of them going out is a result.  It had slipped effortlessly into self-parody by about the third series (this is 11!) and is just a comedy show now.  Claude is going to be brilliant, I know.
Never tell me the odds.

Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #1 on: October 14, 2015, 09:19:10 pm »
There are some spectacularly spivtastic taches in that lot.

Kalamari and fishfingers?!

Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #2 on: October 14, 2015, 09:41:11 pm »
There are some faces there that only a mother could love.  And the blonde lady dresses like an Australian's nightmare.
Never tell me the odds.

Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #3 on: October 14, 2015, 09:45:17 pm »
Is it just me or are the "treats" getting much cheaper?
Never tell me the odds.

StuAff

  • Folding not boring
Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #4 on: October 14, 2015, 11:00:15 pm »
Is it just me or are the "treats" getting much cheaper?
The candidates don't really deserve them when they're that mediocre..

Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #5 on: October 15, 2015, 08:31:16 am »
Some of Alan's sound bites are the best, like last one he organised an alcohol based task just so he could get away with using the phrase "You have literally failed to organise a piss up in a brewery"   ;D
It is what it is. It's not what it's not, so it must be what it is.

Tigerrr

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Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #6 on: October 15, 2015, 12:56:03 pm »
I had stopped watching it, but saw last nights. I think this is such an excellent bunch of loathe some self deluded creatures that it will be worth watching. I particularly liked the girl who reckoned that being tall and better looking than most people made her a natural leader. And the actual spiv.
The show seems to have moved on from any pretence of taking the contestants seriously to a much more enjoyable show in which sugar and chums tear their delusions to bits with some great put downs and humiliating tasks.
'I didn't get involved in this process to sell fish cakes in the street' said the obvious candidate for dismissal last night. He must never have watched the show or something.
Humanists UK Funeral and Wedding Celebrant. Trying for godless goodness.
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Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #7 on: October 15, 2015, 01:38:31 pm »
There does seem to be a number of ex service people in the show. Yesterday 2 were ex Navy, and of apprentice alumni, Katie Hopkins was ex army.

Between Dragons Den and the Apprentice, it shows why the current economic system will fail in the long run. Also shows like this, are best left to commercial TV.

Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #8 on: October 15, 2015, 06:59:09 pm »
I quite like the ex-navy one, although she talks too much.  The spiv (with his Hugh Hefner admiration) is going to be excellent value.  They'll probably keep him until the interviews and then slowly hang, draw and quarter him.
Never tell me the odds.

spesh

  • It's starting to look a lot like Cthulhumas!
Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #9 on: October 15, 2015, 07:48:42 pm »
To quote Dogbert in a classic Dilbert cartoon strip, "leadership is nature's way of removing morons from the productive flow."

http://dilbert.com/strip/1995-02-05

View the linked cartoon, and The Apprentice makes perfect sense - it serves an important function in highlighting to potential employers certain people who should be kept from the productive flow at all costs. If they can be placed in a position of 'thought leader' with no responsibility or actual power, so much the better... ;D
"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Jaded

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Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #10 on: October 15, 2015, 09:09:53 pm »
The Johnny Rotten suit is the best value here.

What will she wear today?

"We're going to the Barbican, but I don't know what it is!"
It's brilliant.
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Jaded

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  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #11 on: October 15, 2015, 09:20:33 pm »
"Catus"

It's a classic.
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Jaded

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  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #12 on: October 15, 2015, 09:29:32 pm »
Natalie talks faster than a hummingbird.
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Mr Larrington

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Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #13 on: October 16, 2015, 12:52:14 pm »
To quote Dogbert in a classic Dilbert cartoon strip, "leadership is nature's way of removing morons from the productive flow."

http://dilbert.com/strip/1995-02-05

View the linked cartoon, and The Apprentice makes perfect sense - it serves an important function in highlighting to potential employers certain people who should be kept from the productive flow at all costs. If they can be placed in a position of 'thought leader' with no responsibility or actual power, so much the better... ;D

The down side of this, of course, is that Super-Twats like Katie Hopkins are removed from the productive flow into the national (s)limelight when otherwise they'd have been hard-pressed to achieve the position of Apprentice Pub Bore.
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citoyen

  • Cat 6 Racer
Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #14 on: October 18, 2015, 11:28:20 am »
It amazes me that every series they manage to find 18 new idiots who have apparently never seen the show before. I don't know why I still watch it, but I admit to finding it strangely compelling.

http://youtu.be/3ss-59fi4nM

spesh

  • It's starting to look a lot like Cthulhumas!
Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #15 on: October 19, 2015, 01:49:19 pm »
It amazes me that every series they manage to find 18 new idiots who have apparently never seen the show before.

Somewhere1, there must be a SEEKRIT hi-security facility where 'reality' TV participants are raised and selectively educated2 in accordance with the degree of gormlessness required by the producers of said programs.  ;)


1 Probably in a re-purposed Cold War bunker such as the one at Corsham.
2 For a certain value thereof.
"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #16 on: October 19, 2015, 02:33:01 pm »
I think they exist under the effects of a field very similar to the Somebody Else's Problem generator. However, instead of your classic SEP, they have I Am Better and Nobody Else Matters generators installed at birth.

From the moment the generators are turned on, they are oblivious to anything except their own brilliance. Point out a failing in the their work? The failure is in you, a failure to perceive their brilliance.

The net effect is not dissimilar to the I've Got Money Therefore I Deserve Everything generator, installed in the children of (some) rich parents.
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Wascally Weasel

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Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #17 on: October 19, 2015, 04:31:31 pm »
It amazes me that every series they manage to find 18 new idiots who have apparently never seen the show before.

Somewhere1, there must be a SEEKRIT hi-security facility where 'reality' TV participants are raised and selectively educated2 in accordance with the degree of gormlessness required by the producers of said programs.  ;)


1 Probably in a re-purposed Cold War bunker such as the one at Corsham.
2 For a certain value thereof.

They already exist.  Drama schools already coach people on how to succeed in most of the current reality TV shows and this is where the majority of contestants have come from over the years (and most of the ‘talent’ shows that preceded the down the decades).

It does present a useful concentration of B-Ark candidates were anyone minded to liquidate them, send them for re-education, offer counselling in alternative career choices.

Tigerrr

  • That England that was wont to conquer others Hath made a shameful conquest of itself.
  • Not really a Tiger.
    • Humanist Celebrant.
Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #18 on: October 19, 2015, 10:18:07 pm »
Are you sure about the apprentice contestants coming from drama schools? I have met drama school students and very few are as truly awful as these people. Plus I once interviewed an ex contestant for a real job and he was genuinely as much of a twit as he appeared on the programme. He wasn't acting at all.
Humanists UK Funeral and Wedding Celebrant. Trying for godless goodness.
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citoyen

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Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #19 on: October 19, 2015, 10:27:55 pm »
I don't think WW was saying they were drama students but that drama schools offer coaching for reality tv show wannabes, which I can well believe.

Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #20 on: October 21, 2015, 05:32:25 pm »
I'm sure that I've said this before but I briefly knew one contestant (not this years).  When I knew him he was a total tosser.......he got labelled as one of the nice ones on the show.  It has to be said he really did believe the hype and talked of 'Business' as though it were a living god.

I also knew, for an even briefer period, someone who got to the last round of applicants but didn't quite get onto the TV.  He was notable by his capacity to talk sense and be a reasonable human being.




Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #21 on: October 21, 2015, 05:49:50 pm »
I suppose it makes life much easier for the producers if they do select vain idiots. It means they don't have to manipulate the narrative so much via selective editing. The contestants won't disappoint when it comes to providing material.

Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #22 on: October 21, 2015, 08:26:03 pm »
Someone from our place got to the last few candidates many years ago but was fired for being a bit too boring, or words to that effect.  He's still at our place, is doing fine, and people seem to like him.  There has been a step change in twattery since then, though; I think Katie H*pk*ns opened the floodgates on that one.
Never tell me the odds.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #23 on: October 21, 2015, 11:58:12 pm »
Tonight's was full of twattery.
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Re: The Apprentice 2015 thread
« Reply #24 on: October 22, 2015, 09:14:32 am »
I'm always slightly baffled that whenever they are asked to buy food items in the 'negotiation task' that the first thought of every team is "hmm, let's go to a restaurant to get that." I hate haggling, but I can guarantee that I could get 10 kg of mussels cheaper on the list price at any fish wholesaler (FFS, they went to Billingsgate in the first episode) than the best 'negotiator' could by them at a bloody restaurant.  Alternatively any fishmonger in the area (it's not like mussels aren't grown on the south coast), or even a supermarket with a largish fish section.  If it occurred to them to scrape up their own manure, why not go to a beach and collect your own mussels?