Author Topic: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread  (Read 84646 times)

Eccentrica Gallumbits

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The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« on: January 26, 2016, 05:47:59 pm »
Today was my colleague's citizenship ceremony and I had suggested we go out for a celebratory lunch afterwards. Another friend and I had agreed it was our treat.











I forgot my purse.
My feminist marxist dialectic brings all the boys to the yard.


Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #1 on: January 26, 2016, 05:51:40 pm »
Ooh!
You div!  :P
I can almost certainly contribute to this thread!  :D 
And I nominate this for the Thread Title of the Year award  :thumbsup:

Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #2 on: January 26, 2016, 05:57:04 pm »
I forgot my purse.

That old chesnut  ;D

You're not alone.....
I went to the post office (5mile trip) last week to post a 2ft cardboard tube. Pulled up outside the post office, couldn't find the parcel. It was still at home standing to attention by my front door, I stood it there so I could lock the door.
OnOne Pickenflick - Tour De Fer 20 - Pinnacle Arkose cx - Charge Cooker maxi2 fatty - GT Zaskar Carbon Expert

Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2016, 06:05:23 pm »
I spent all afternoon trying to debug something. Combing through log file, painstakingly checking syntax.

I'd forgotten to do a #include for the relevant xsl file.

All Sodding Afternoon.

you div
<i>Marmite slave</i>

Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #4 on: January 26, 2016, 06:16:38 pm »
Your colleague has just had another lesson in Englishness.  :smug:
We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. We should do twice as much listening as talking.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #5 on: January 26, 2016, 06:25:05 pm »
Your colleague has just had another lesson in Englishness.  :smug:

Eeek!!!!

Basil

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2016, 06:32:18 pm »

I forgot my purse.

I did that to Mrs. B (before she was Mrs. B). An expensive restaurant in Bristol. 
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

woollypigs

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    • woollypigs
Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2016, 09:03:03 pm »
Well in the last half year I have gone down to Aldi twice, filled up the trolley, gone to the till, counted it all up, packed it into bags, to find that the money is at home, DOH! What a div!

Good news they will take the trolley out back so you can come and pay and collect later :)

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #8 on: January 26, 2016, 10:14:27 pm »
I think most supermarkets will do that.  Must happen fairly often.  I was in Sainsbury's recently where the old lady ahead of me had made that mistake, and got herself quite worked up before the checkout operator explained that they had a cunning mode on the till that could add everything up and present it as a bill for her to pay at customer services when she came back later.
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Wowbagger

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #9 on: January 26, 2016, 11:15:48 pm »
Nothing immediately springs to mind from the recent past, but one of my more spectacular ones was to fill up our previous car with petrol, queue for quite some time to pay for it, and the checkout person looking at me puzzled because there was nothing to pay on that particular pump. After some confusion on both sides of the till they managed to convince me that I had already paid at the pump, much to the amusement of the people queuing behind me.
Homo sapiens - a creature so intelligent it knowingly sowed the seeds of its own destruction and did nothing about it.

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #10 on: January 26, 2016, 11:16:29 pm »
Come back when you've filled your current car with petrol...
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Mr Larrington

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #11 on: January 27, 2016, 11:38:16 am »
Getting 3/4 of the way through dinner before noting that my wallet was in my motel room on the other side of town.  I offered to leave my watch and kindle as security while I went to fetch it but they instead gave me a free meal :thumbsup:
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #12 on: January 27, 2016, 12:02:51 pm »
I 'lost' a mobile phone in a hotel in Manila at the end of a three month stay. I reported it to the management just so if it turned up they'd know where to send it. I had no reason to suspect it had been stolen. The police were called, statements demanded and given. After the police had left I found it behind the room safe - which had a gap behind it just the right size for a mobile phone. :facepalm:
We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. We should do twice as much listening as talking.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #13 on: January 27, 2016, 12:21:17 pm »
looks like most of us on here are fuckwits  ;D
OnOne Pickenflick - Tour De Fer 20 - Pinnacle Arkose cx - Charge Cooker maxi2 fatty - GT Zaskar Carbon Expert

woollypigs

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #14 on: January 27, 2016, 12:27:38 pm »
 
looks like most of us on here are fuckwits  ;D
Only just noticed?   ;D :D ;) :P :)

Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #15 on: January 27, 2016, 12:28:12 pm »
looks like most of us on here are fuckwits  ;D
Only just noticed?   ;D :D ;) :P :)

didn't like to mention it  ;D
OnOne Pickenflick - Tour De Fer 20 - Pinnacle Arkose cx - Charge Cooker maxi2 fatty - GT Zaskar Carbon Expert

Riggers

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #16 on: January 27, 2016, 12:30:27 pm »
Popped in to Komedia Brighton on Friday to renew our joint membership to Picture House cinema. Renewed. I used two out of the six free tickets that evening to see The Revenant. Bought a pint of Dark Star and white wine to take in with us, and received a discount as well, using the card. Fine.

After Saturday, I couldn't … er, remember where I'd put the card. Lost.

Komedia have since given me a replacement.

Note to self: just hand everything over to my wife for safety. She's got the new membership card thank goodness.
Certainly never seen cycling south of Sussex

Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #17 on: January 27, 2016, 01:00:44 pm »
I never put anything away. I work on the theory that if I trip over it at least 5 times a day I won't lose it. If I put it safely away somewhere it'll take me forever to find where 'somewhere' is.
We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. We should do twice as much listening as talking.

Pancho

  • لَا أَعْبُدُ مَا تَعْبُدُونَ
Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #18 on: January 27, 2016, 01:39:25 pm »
After years of walking 4 miles e/w to uni and back, I bought a car which I drove into college the next day. Had the usual full day of lectures and labs. And, also as usual, walked home!

T42

  • Gaulois réfractaire
Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #19 on: January 27, 2016, 01:54:27 pm »
Monday I drove off to an appointment in the afternoon, and ten minutes down the road realized I didn't have my phone.  Surge of adrenalin, instant feelings of isolation and imminent doom set in.  Ten minutes later I checked that my papers were in my pocket and found the phone.
I dare eat all that may become a man.

But hold the oysters.

citoyen

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #20 on: January 27, 2016, 02:12:44 pm »
Your colleague has just had another lesson in Englishness.  :smug:

It's not, but your statement is definitely a lesson in Englishness.

T42

  • Gaulois réfractaire
Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #21 on: January 27, 2016, 02:52:55 pm »
Further old foolery: I just went into our bank account to do the usual month-end transfer from company to our main private account and found that a subsidiary private account was 1000€ richer than it should have been.  It would seem that at the beginning of January I transferred a top-up from the company and hit the wrong account.

Now wondering whether to tell Mrs. T or spend an extra thou.
I dare eat all that may become a man.

But hold the oysters.

Guy

  • Left-Wing Moonbat Green NAZI
Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #22 on: January 27, 2016, 02:57:59 pm »
Further old foolery: I just went into our bank account to do the usual month-end transfer from company to our main private account and found that a subsidiary private account was 1000€ richer than it should have been.  It would seem that at the beginning of January I transferred a top-up from the company and hit the wrong account.

Now wondering whether to tell Mrs. T or spend an extra thou.

New bike time?
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I don't wanna go fighting in the tropical heat
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I won't open letter bombs for you

T42

  • Gaulois réfractaire
Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #23 on: January 27, 2016, 03:22:04 pm »
That way lies DETH, as Mr. L might put it.  Got a new one last year.

I shall drink tea and contemplate.
I dare eat all that may become a man.

But hold the oysters.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fucking Div" Thread
« Reply #24 on: January 27, 2016, 03:41:39 pm »
That way lies DETH, as Mr. L might put it.  Got a new one last year.

I shall drink tea and contemplate.

You'll drink a lot of tea with £1000.
We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. We should do twice as much listening as talking.