Author Topic: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread  (Read 109722 times)

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1150 on: December 03, 2018, 05:02:57 pm »
For someone who flies a lot, while at the same time being a prime div, I've really missed very few flights – I'm weirdly paranoid about the entire trip planning. We did once-upon-a-time try to leave Carcassonne a day early, owing to my wife. When I pointed out that the mistake was hers (which it completely was) – well, let's just say it didn't end well for me. If it's my fault I should be told, routinely as a remember the time you... If it's hers, it's not to be mentioned ever.

Anyway, I'm here to put in for more div points. Last night, while pouring out a beer from a 750 ml bottle, I dropped it onto the worktop, making a nice dent in the oak, and also causing a jet of beer to erupt from the top. For the first time in my life, a misspent youth that involved learning to kegstand came in useful in reducing the mess (and minimizing tasty beer wastage). I don't think you need another, said my wife. I wouldn't mind but that was the first. In my defence, I had a residual olive oil on my hands from tossing some veg and the bottle had developed a sheen of condensation.
!nataS pihsroW

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1151 on: December 05, 2018, 03:00:09 pm »
I managed to turn up a whole week early for an appointment on Saturday  :facepalm:
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Torslanda

  • Professional Gobshite
  • Just a tart for retro kit . . .
    • John's Bikes
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1152 on: December 07, 2018, 04:50:44 pm »
Seething. Ordered four new tyres for Hercules le Peugeot. Got the size wrong.

Fucksake! I used to do this for a living. Seriously, you DICK!
VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1153 on: December 07, 2018, 07:45:47 pm »
Seething. Ordered four new tyres for Hercules le Peugeot. Got the size wrong.

Fucksake! I used to do this for a living. Seriously, you DICK!
It sounds like it’s probab as well that you don’t do it for a living anymore  ;D
Sorting my life out, one shed at a time.

Torslanda

  • Professional Gobshite
  • Just a tart for retro kit . . .
    • John's Bikes
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1154 on: December 07, 2018, 09:28:25 pm »
You can go off people . . .
VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1155 on: December 07, 2018, 10:02:31 pm »
 O:-)
Sorting my life out, one shed at a time.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1156 on: December 07, 2018, 10:45:11 pm »
You can go off people . . .

No, you just get tired of them.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1157 on: December 08, 2018, 12:27:25 am »
 :'(
Sorting my life out, one shed at a time.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1158 on: December 08, 2018, 07:26:18 am »
Beardy, if it wasn't clear, that "tired" was actually really invisibly spelled "tyred" and directed at Tors.....

I have previous in deliberately not adding smilies.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1159 on: December 08, 2018, 09:16:03 am »
 :thumbsup:

Just my paranoia getting the better of me then.
Sorting my life out, one shed at a time.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1160 on: December 08, 2018, 09:50:08 am »
Turned up at the dentist at 10:15 together with missus for 10:20 am appointment, only to find out that it was scheduled for 11:20. Ho hum.
Get a bicycle. You will never regret it, if you live- Mark Twain

Torslanda

  • Professional Gobshite
  • Just a tart for retro kit . . .
    • John's Bikes
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1161 on: December 08, 2018, 11:39:39 am »
Seething. Ordered four new tyres for Hercules le Peugeot. Got the size wrong.

Fucksake! I used to do this for a living. Seriously, you DICK!
It sounds like it’s probab as well that you don’t do it for a living anymore  ;D


If I hadn't changed direction 6 years ago I'd probably be about a third the way through a prison sentence for wounding with intent or summat...
VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1162 on: December 13, 2018, 02:50:44 pm »
Cutting a rectangular hole for a pickup in a pic printed on 1mm aluminium. Drilled a hole for each corner. Dremeled out 3 sides perfectly. When cutting the last, narrow, side I let the cutting disc sink too far, and while I was carefully cutting to meet the hole at corner D the other edge went 5 mm beyond the hole at corner C.  Arse.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1163 on: December 13, 2018, 03:01:44 pm »
Cutting a rectangular hole for a pickup in a pic printed on 1mm aluminium. Drilled a hole for each corner. Dremeled out 3 sides perfectly. When cutting the last, narrow, side I let the cutting disc sink too far, and while I was carefully cutting to meet the hole at corner D the other edge went 5 mm beyond the hole at corner C.  Arse.

Not only me then...….albeit rectangular holes in plywood for mounting radio-control servos.  I now have to remind myself to watch both sides of the disc.

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1164 on: December 13, 2018, 05:11:12 pm »
I have a right-angle drive on my Christmas list - it would have made life a lot simpler.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1165 on: December 14, 2018, 08:00:15 pm »
I have a feeling I forgot to pack any socks. At least I’m going somewhere warm.

I may have forgotten other stuff. The danger of travelling the day after the Christmas party.
!nataS pihsroW

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1166 on: December 14, 2018, 08:04:01 pm »
passport - check
laptop - check
drugs - check
anything else - buy on arrival
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1167 on: December 14, 2018, 09:12:54 pm »
passport - check
laptop - check
drugs - check
anything else - buy on arrival
Only if you’ve not forgotten your wallet!
Sorting my life out, one shed at a time.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1168 on: January 05, 2019, 04:41:04 pm »
I was getting a tin of mushy peas out,of the cupboard to have with my Cornish pasty when my sleeve caught the top of the bottle of Lee and Perins. All would have been well had I not tried to catch it, inadvertently knocking the bottle cap first into the lower cupboard shelf. The carnage just escalated from that point as the bottle, now with end over end rotational momentum, spun towards the floor. Miraculously the bottle did not become many pieces upon impact, but in terms of the process of marinading half the kitchen in Worcestershire sauce, this minor aspect didn’t really reduce the mess. There was a brown slick spreading into the floor and splashes of the damn sauce EVERYWHERE. Dr Beardy, (Mrs) was not a happy cohabitatee.  :facepalm:

Dog, thoughbut, that stuff stinks...
Sorting my life out, one shed at a time.

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1169 on: January 09, 2019, 11:06:34 pm »
Fortunately I noticed just in time that the stuff I was about to apply to my achey breaky back was not Bells Muscle Rub but Ronseal Wood Filler.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1170 on: January 10, 2019, 08:23:53 am »
<splort>

How's the woodwork chez Larrington, then?
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1171 on: January 10, 2019, 10:11:06 am »
very supple and limber
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1172 on: January 10, 2019, 06:45:11 pm »
No, the reason that door won't close is not because of the power and network cables running under the carpet.  It is because your finger is between the door and the jamb.

Ow.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

TheLurker

  • Goes well with magnolia.
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1173 on: January 10, 2019, 06:54:24 pm »
Not me, but a colleague deserving of an honourable mention.  Forty mile drive to the office today for an 0800 meeting.  Come 08:15 and no-one else having turned up he 'phones one of them to find out what's up.  Meeting is four weeks today.  Laugh? We pissed ourselves. :)
Τα πιο όμορφα ταξίδια γίνονται με τις δικές μας δυνάμεις - Φίλοι του Ποδήλατου

citoyen

  • Cat 6 Racer
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1174 on: January 12, 2019, 11:06:09 pm »
Steak for dinner. Decided to make a cheeky sauce to go with it, so after cooking the steak and putting it aside to rest, I poured a glug of brandy into the pan to deglaze it...

Only I'd picked up the wrong bottle and instead had sploshed in a generous measure of salted caramel cream liqueur*.

Hmmm. First thought was what the heck, how bad can it be? But after a few seconds of the creamy liquid bubbling away, the smell hit my nose...  :sick:

Luckily the steak was perfectly delicious without a sauce.



*imagine Baileys but even more sickly sweet.