Author Topic: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread  (Read 109914 times)

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1325 on: March 12, 2019, 09:56:08 am »
Put the bins out last night in the usual spot next to the drive.

Gosh, it's windy isn't it? I know, I'll place this brick on the lid to weigh it down.

1am - I am woken by a clatter and bang. I pull the curtain to see the bin has fallen over by the car. After a moment, I decide to get up and tidy it up as I didn't want a fox or cat getting at it and have my rubbish decorating the cul-de-sac.

Get out there in my jimjams (it's raining too!) and notice that my ingenious bin tie-down device had been flung from the bin as it fell, hitting my car on the front wing.

A nice dent and scratch.

I'm such a fecking div!

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1326 on: March 12, 2019, 11:25:00 am »
Quote from: Angry People In Local Newspapers
BINNNNNSSSSSS!!!!
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1327 on: March 13, 2019, 09:52:43 am »
Tomorrow I'm not working, so this morning when I woke to the alarm, I turned it off. Then with some joy reset it to a later time for tomorrow. At 7:30 I got a text from my wife about the "bloody alarm"...   :-[ ::-)
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1328 on: March 15, 2019, 05:29:18 pm »
Yesterday I didn't leap out of bed (still recovering from D&V, virus-induced). I got up, had a shower, dressed, battled the gale and rain to the train station and went to work.

Nothing terribly divvish about that, you might say.

Oh, but there is, because when I left the house, I shut the bedroom door. And when I shut the bedroom door, I didn't look under the bed. If I had looked under the bed (rather than glancing round the room), I would have seen the cat.

Therefore preventing myself from getting home last night, opening the bedroom door to be greeted by a cat and a stench of cat piss. Emanating from the bed. Rather than piss on the floor, the cat had chosen to piss on the duvet (comprehensively, through it, soaking the duvet, sheet, mattress padding and mattress.

So I spent last night washing bedding, scrubbing mattress, and sleeping in freezing cold room (windows open to help room dry out and dispel the smell).
<i>Marmite slave</i>

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1329 on: March 16, 2019, 09:33:19 am »
Scrabbling round to find my wallet this morning.
Looked in all the usual places.
Nothing.
Oh! Those trousers on the clothes horse?
The ones which had a 40°C wash last night.

Money laundering.
Again  ::-)

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1330 on: March 17, 2019, 02:50:51 pm »
Having retaped the Trek's bars I searched the workshop for 10 minutes for the Bontrager buttbar plug I must have flicked off the bench when removing the old tape. Then found it still in the bar end. ;D

ETA: Also, broke a piece of the bar-end fixing of my Zefal mirror, ordered a new one then managed to fit the old one. Well, it's a bit scratched.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1331 on: March 19, 2019, 12:38:51 am »
Following on from https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=10706.msg2379046#msg2379046 I've just spent a couple of hours wanking about in re-learning gnuplot, because spreadsheets are universally awful (and infuriatingly slow) at graphing large datasets.

Having achieved a beautiful plot of my non-compliant electricity supply in a perfectly good postscript file (for ease of throwing at Ye Olde Laserjet), I had a go at generating a SVG for general showing-off purposes.  Unfortunately, it had passed midnight and, in a moment of filetype aphasia, I generated an empty CSV file over the top of my source data.  For maximum divvishness I'd also over-enthusiastically tidied up the multimeter's SD card while I had it in the computer, so that was my only copy.

Sometimes the universe has a way of telling you to go to bed.
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1332 on: March 19, 2019, 08:54:03 am »
Without any supper at that.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1333 on: March 19, 2019, 10:03:28 am »
Scrabbling round to find my wallet this morning.
Looked in all the usual places.
Nothing.
Oh! Those trousers on the clothes horse?
The ones which had a 40°C wash last night.

Money laundering.
Again  ::-)
You need some antimony!
(see Grammar thread)
An ungovernable laughter, a joyous agitation which makes the summer stretching before you seem like an unrolling canvas on which you might draw those first rude pure strokes that are free. (Capote)

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1334 on: March 21, 2019, 03:49:26 pm »
So last week I organised a set of training for today, back in my base office. Nicely booked the meeting and meeting room in the outlook calendar as is the normal practice for my client location.....


and completely forgot that meeting rooms in my home office have to be booked through reception  :facepalm:


Arrived at work this morning to a worried receptionist as my presenter had arrived mentioned the meeting room but it had been booked for someone else. Further there were no available meeting rooms in the entire building. We ended up meeting in one of the breakout areas into which the facilities team deployed one of the plasma screens to display everything.

Andrij

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1335 on: March 25, 2019, 12:05:25 pm »
Booked a coach ticket for a late April trip to Cardiff.  In the process of adjusting variables I failed to notice the travel date returned to a system default.  Anyone want to travel to Cardiff this Thursday?  :facepalm:
;D  Andrij.  I pronounce you Complete and Utter GIT   :thumbsup:

PaulF

  • "World's Scariest Barman"
  • It's only impossible if you stop to think about it
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1336 on: March 25, 2019, 01:55:01 pm »

citoyen

  • Cat 6 Racer
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1337 on: March 25, 2019, 02:27:20 pm »
Booked a train ticket via thetrainline.com from Paddington to Exeter for the Back to the Smoke 400. Phoned GWR to make bike reservation. All good. No divviness so far.

Went to pick up proof of bike reservation from Paddington, noticed a timing discrepancy between my ticket and the bike reservation. Showed my e-ticket to the nice woman behind counter. She pointed out that my ticket was for the SW service from Waterloo, not the GWR from Paddington.

Usual story of looking too closely at the price rather than any other details of what I was actually booking. I have form for this - once accidentally booked a return flight from Spain on the wrong day because I was distracted by the fact that it was cheaper than the day I was intending to travel - on that occasion, I had to pay substantially more than the price difference to amend the booking, of course.

Fortunately, when I phoned SW, they still had bike spaces available on the train I'm travelling on. Just as well I made the effort to pick up my bike reservation ticket in plenty of time, not leave it to the last minute, so maybe I'm not such a div after all!

And the ticket only cost £15, so I can't complain about that either (though obviously I was too late making my booking to get a cheap ticket on the faster GWR service).

fboab

  • It's a fecking serious business, riding a bike
Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
« Reply #1338 on: March 25, 2019, 04:10:02 pm »
I have booked a train ticket for my daughter to come up and visit at Easter.
On the mobile app on my phone.
That's where the ticket is.
Fuck.
TSS is not Total Sex Score, Chris!

sib

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1339 on: March 25, 2019, 04:21:27 pm »
@fboab
did you use trainline ?
apparently you can forward the confirmation to your daughters email and she can access if she has the app ?
HTH

fboab

  • It's a fecking serious business, riding a bike
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1340 on: March 25, 2019, 06:37:35 pm »
Nope- Northern. It's a mobile ticket.
TSS is not Total Sex Score, Chris!

PaulF

  • "World's Scariest Barman"
  • It's only impossible if you stop to think about it
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1341 on: March 25, 2019, 08:45:52 pm »
If its a QR code then you can take a screen shot of it and send it on to her; that will open the gates. I use that because the the GWR app is so c@rp that it “loses”my ticket ‘twin train and gate.

PaulF

  • "World's Scariest Barman"
  • It's only impossible if you stop to think about it
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1342 on: March 26, 2019, 09:49:00 am »
If its a QR code then you can take a screen shot of it and send it on to her; that will open the gates. I use that because the the GWR app is so c@rp that it “loses”my ticket ‘twin train and gate.

But the eTicket facility proved very useful when I got to Paddington this morning to find I'd bought a ticket for tomorrow :facepalm: Fortunately I could use the app to buy a ticket for a train leaving Didcot a few minutes later and exited the gate 2 minutes before the train left Didcot.

 

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1343 on: March 26, 2019, 10:44:14 am »
But the eTicket facility proved very useful when I got to Paddington this morning to find I'd bought a ticket for tomorrow :facepalm: Fortunately I could use the app to buy a ticket for a train leaving Didcot a few minutes later and exited the gate 2 minutes before the train left Didcot.

I do this regularly.  I go to a lot of court cases with a defined start but undefined finish so generally buy a single to the court and then buy my return ticket walking from court to train station, often actually on the concourse as i see which train i can manage to get.


PaulF

  • "World's Scariest Barman"
  • It's only impossible if you stop to think about it
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1344 on: March 26, 2019, 10:53:39 am »
But the eTicket facility proved very useful when I got to Paddington this morning to find I'd bought a ticket for tomorrow :facepalm: Fortunately I could use the app to buy a ticket for a train leaving Didcot a few minutes later and exited the gate 2 minutes before the train left Didcot.

I do this regularly.  I go to a lot of court cases with a defined start but undefined finish so generally buy a single to the court and then buy my return ticket walking from court to train station, often actually on the concourse as i see which train i can manage to get.



Yes, but Paddington was my destination and I'd already traveled by the time I discovered I had no ticket. Because it was so early the barriers were open at Didcot and there were no inspectors.

fboab

  • It's a fecking serious business, riding a bike
Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
« Reply #1345 on: March 26, 2019, 12:43:04 pm »
Northern e-tickets aren't a QR code- you activate them in the app - and this journey involves 2 changes.
It's a really handy system. Unless you're not actually the person travelling. I think I have to go and talk to a person about it.
TSS is not Total Sex Score, Chris!

citoyen

  • Cat 6 Racer
Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
« Reply #1346 on: March 26, 2019, 11:14:50 pm »
In my defence, if the tube had been lying the other way up, I’d probably have noticed that it was labelled Germolene, not Colgate...

Re: The &quot;I'm Such a Fecking Div&quot; Thread
« Reply #1347 on: March 27, 2019, 08:32:39 am »
In my defence, if the tube had been lying the other way up, I’d probably have noticed that it was labelled Germolene, not Colgate...

 ;D ;D ;D

(sorry)
Quote from: Kim
^ This woman knows what she's talking about.

Torslanda

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1348 on: March 27, 2019, 11:02:40 am »
Ask me who dropped his new motorbike putting it in the shed. Were it not for the intervention of #1 son I'd probably still be under it...
VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1349 on: March 27, 2019, 11:59:30 am »
Well, somebody's got to.....How's the bike?