Author Topic: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread  (Read 145352 times)

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1550 on: August 04, 2019, 09:32:04 pm »
Following on from my last entry.   When I got back into my flat I just shoved my soaking gloves into my rackback & forgot about them.  Opened the rackbag up today (hunting for gloves), they appear to have acquired a certain odour  :sick:
Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1551 on: August 07, 2019, 08:46:09 pm »
Accidentally threw my Ti spork in a bin. :'( :facepalm:

Disaster!
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1552 on: August 07, 2019, 08:48:17 pm »
Following on from my last entry.   When I got back into my flat I just shoved my soaking gloves into my rackback & forgot about them.  Opened the rackbag up today (hunting for gloves), they appear to have acquired a certain odour  :sick:

I took a pair of shoes up the Paps of Jura last week, it was so boggy that I left them on the bumper of my car for the next few days to dry out before I drove home.  12 hours of socks and shoes in my boot on Monday  :o
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

woollypigs

  • Mr Peli
    • woollypigs
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1553 on: August 07, 2019, 10:51:22 pm »
Plugged USB drive in (needs external power) to do backup. Fired up rsync pointed the correct folders on the PC to the correct folders on USB drive and let it run.

Stood up to go to bed, hit the light switch, which the extension cord/lead is connected to, which powers things like the table light, printer, monitor and the USB drive ...
#bollockstobrexit

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1554 on: August 09, 2019, 09:20:56 am »
Walked out of the flat, closed the door & then realised my keys were on the kitchen table.
This is going to mean a visit to my family in the suburbs to pick up my spare set.  :facepalm:
Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

woollypigs

  • Mr Peli
    • woollypigs
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1555 on: August 09, 2019, 09:45:01 am »
You need a chain around your neck for your keys.
#bollockstobrexit

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1556 on: August 09, 2019, 09:22:51 pm »
Refurbished kitchen 18 months ago at cost of huge.......Put hot pan on work top.......FFS.
Get a bicycle. You will never regret it, if you live- Mark Twain

andytheflyer

  • Andytheex-flyer.....
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1557 on: August 10, 2019, 07:58:47 am »
Refurbished kitchen 18 months ago at cost of huge.......Put hot pan on work top.......FFS.
My wife has form for this, and we have a newish kitchen now.  My plan, for that eventuality, is to get a pre-cut piece of stainless steel, say 6mm thick, and then rout out the exact size over the burnt area.  Drop the stainless plate in on a bed of silicone and it'll look like it was always intended.  Could do it with a ceramic tile or 2. 

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1558 on: August 10, 2019, 08:18:50 am »
We were very careful not to do that. However, our tea-making area is traversed by a joint where the worktop takes a 90°. Splashes eventually penetrated the joint and gee, swell.  We keep one of those daft glass chopping-boards over that bit now - the feet lift it clear of the embarrassing bit.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1559 on: August 12, 2019, 10:43:50 am »
Wooden (solid oak) worktops keep a good record of kitchen accidents and other assorted incidents of culinary shame.

We did have them originally done with the Danish oil stuff which was a horrid colour and offered very little protection against spills. We had them sanded and redone earlier this year with a matt varnish which is a lot hardier unless the person who cleans your oven happens to drip oven cleaner on it and it gets left there for several days...

DivSpot: I have a new office chair in the Remote Command Centre which I opted not to purchase arms for, so I could scoot around more freely. In principle fine, though I attempted to lever myself up to get coffee earlier with those non-existing arms and fell flat on the floor next to my desk. At least only the cat was around to validate my wounded pride.

!nataS pihsroW

andytheflyer

  • Andytheex-flyer.....
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1560 on: August 24, 2019, 11:09:47 am »
Rode my shopping 'bent into the village for minor supplies, successfully stopped and got off (an increasingly challenging task it seems - I'm sure that seat gets higher every month), then fell over the kerb outside the launderette.  Ow.  Minor scrapes but bike fine because it landed on top of me.

Feeling a bit wobbly now.

And a lady of a similar age came and asked if I was OK as I got up.  Oh, the shame.....

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1561 on: August 25, 2019, 12:32:10 pm »
Just went to unlock the blue tourer & found I hadn't chained it up the last time I used it a week ago.   At least it proves that the landing outside my flat is rarely visited by bike thieves.
Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1562 on: August 25, 2019, 12:42:48 pm »
Some months back I did a full-scale drawing of a zither I want to make on a sheet of 5mm ply, mainly to work out proportions and shapes, and possibly to use as a template. Then I reorganized the workshop and everything went on hold. This morning I went looking for my design. And looking. And looking...
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1563 on: August 26, 2019, 04:42:36 pm »
I have a suspicion I have posted a "forgot it is a Bank Holiday in England" story on this thread before...

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1564 on: August 26, 2019, 04:50:29 pm »
I have a suspicion I have posted a "forgot it is a Bank Holiday in England" story on this thread before...

If I may channel Oscar Wilde, once may be regarded as a misfortune; twice looks like carelessness.  :demon:
"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster.
And when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Salvatore

  • Джон Спунър
    • Pics
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1565 on: August 28, 2019, 09:34:06 pm »
30km from home on the 3rd day of the ride home from seeing my mum, I popped into a cafe in Twyford with my fully-loaded bike (front + rear panniers, tent, barbag)  in full view locked to a penny-farthing type bike stand at the crossroads.

Suitably refreshed, I unlocked my bike and made as if to leave, but the front wheel wouldn't turn. Eventually after much poking I find that the spring on the right-hand cantilever has broken, meaning that the left hand arm was pulling the right-hand brake block against the rim. I conclude that the only way to get home is to unhook the straddle-wire and ride home with only a rear bike. So that's what I did.

About 2 hours later I arrived home, and was unloading my bike when I realised that I only had one front pannier. Eventually I concluded that I must have the missing one off to get access to the brake, and completely forgotten about re-attaching it when setting off again. [How I didn't notice its absence while riding is still a mystery] So without further ado I jumped onto a different bike from my stable to retrace the 30km to Twyford in the hope that no-one had moved, stolen or taken the bag n for safe keeping. On the way I wondered if any of the public-spirited citizens of Twyford had reported a suspicious bag on the pavement at the traffic lights, and what conclusion anyone would come to if they examined the contents, the item at the top being a gas canister. I pictured the centre of Twyford condoned off and the bomb squad doing their thing just as I turned up.

Anyway, the faded Carradice was still there next to the bike stand when I arrived, so relieved I sat for a while on a bench, before repairing to the local Waitrose - in my haste I had forgotten food and water bottles (but had remembered lights and inner tubes but not a pump or a lock). On leaving the store I saw that the pannier was not on my bike - I hadn't bothered to attach it to the bike and must have left it on the bench at the crossroads (and it was still there - phew).

I got home without needing a pump and in full possession of my property if not my faculties (apparently). So it all turned out OK and I got to ride a bonus 60km.

Quote
et avec John, excellent lecteur de road-book, on s'en est sortis sans erreur

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1566 on: August 29, 2019, 01:51:32 pm »
Take heart!  On our 1100 km Strasbourg-Brest Audax-style Diagonale in 2014 I left my wee backpack sitting on a bench at 24k in and didn't realize it until 56k.  Fortunately a chum had turned out to see us off, and he phoned his brother who turned out, found it, and brought it to me by car, so we only lost an hour and no km rather than three hours and 64 km. That was probably my divvest of moments.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Waking up now, put the kettle on!
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1567 on: August 29, 2019, 02:11:57 pm »
@Salvatore, you definitely deserve a badge, a cup of tea, a slice of cake, a beer and a sit down, in any order you like! Impressive that you managed to ride 2 hours without feeling lopsided steering from only one front pannier.
Days become simply the spaces between dreams, spaces between the shifting floors of time...

bludger

  • Randonneur and bargain hunter
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1568 on: August 29, 2019, 02:26:07 pm »
A few weeks ago I did a ride to the Downs Link, to Brighton. I popped in to Aldi to get supplies first. Just as I reached the link (after 50 km from home) I reached around for my saddlebag (on the Bagman Sport with QR) to get some food, and it wasnt there. Retrace my steps up the hill, no sign of it.

Fuck, I must have left it at Aldi (6-7 km back). So I jump back on the bike and pedal as fast as I can, clocking 60 km/h down a hill at one point. Not there either. Nothing ultra important was in it (repairs, spares and food) but obviously it's got sentimental value and wasn't cheap so was getting very annoyed. Go back to the site of the hill just in case.... And there's a cyclist holding my Barley looking for somewhere to drop it off. I offer him some fruit cake and lots of thank yous but he was having none of it.

Essentially I had filled the saddlebag with stuff but not applied the quick release to secure it. It had stayed on the Bagman all the way from Aldi owing to the weight of its contents until I got to the off roady bit of the Downs Link where it had fallen off. What a palaver, at least 15 km of added huffing and puffing because I'd made a muddle.

Great ride down to Brighton though...
YACF touring/audax bargain basement:
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Ban cars.

Tim Hall

  • I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1569 on: August 29, 2019, 04:57:06 pm »
Today I decided go get new cartridge bearings for the fixer, as the existing ones in the rear wheel are shagged.

Being a smartarse, I rootled through my Great Tub of Fasteners (misc) as I was sure there was an old one in there that I could take with me to Bearings R Us to make sure I got the right size. Found it, stuffed it in my pocket, leapt on to the Pretty Bike and had a nice trundle of 10 miles to the bearing shop. The Nice Man sold me "four like that please" for a very reasonable sum and trundled back home.

Took the wheel off the fixer, drifted the old bearings out, offered up the new ones. Two hopes of them fitting as as you just can't get a 30mm diameter thing into a 26mm diameter hole.

Arse. Keen students will realise the old bearing I'd taken as a pattern was what we in the trade call "The Wrong Size". Still, it was a nice tie.
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1570 on: September 06, 2019, 10:10:15 am »
Hands full, tried to put out the light on the staircase by pushing my teacup against the switch. Light still on, streaks of tea down wallpaper. :facepalm:
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1571 on: September 06, 2019, 10:13:19 am »
Blot it up with tissues and squeeze into cup.  It'll be a bit cooler but still drinkable......

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1572 on: September 06, 2019, 10:41:56 am »
Sounds good, but I mopped the top step with the same bit of kitchen roll. The top step where the dogs like to lie. Damn, two dividities in a row. Any more & I can try for a doctorate.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1573 on: September 06, 2019, 10:48:34 am »
Ha!  Don't know about kitchen roll but you used to be able to help yourself to any number of degrees in the toilets at university!

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1574 on: September 06, 2019, 01:02:32 pm »
Maybe that's where Melania got the one she mentioned on her Einstein Visa application.

Our uni toilets had hard shiny paper stamped "Property of H.M.Government" and the holders were big stainless steel efforts branded "Dreadnought Thiefproof".
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.