Author Topic: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread  (Read 184598 times)

Kim

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2250 on: January 11, 2021, 12:43:52 pm »
EDF want meter readings.  Clearing the TPsOC from in front of the the cupboard in which the 'leccy meter lurks is tedious, but simple.  The gas meter, however, lives in a box outside.  And while unlocking it I dropped the key.  Into a bush.  A horrible bush with horrible spiky leaves with horrible spikes on them :facepalm:

Naturally you'll be fitting the key with a Mk 1 bit-of-string, so that when you drop it next time it'll be extra-fun to untangle from the spikes?
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2251 on: January 11, 2021, 04:34:49 pm »
Or using long nose pliers for opening the gas cupboard

fuzzy (retd.) AAGE

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2252 on: January 11, 2021, 11:38:56 pm »
Magnet onna stick? Unless placcy key.
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Kim

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2253 on: January 11, 2021, 11:44:06 pm »
Or using long nose pliers for opening the gas cupboard

You'll still have to fish them out of the bush when you drop them, but at least you'll have something handy to pull the thorns out with...
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Mr Larrington

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2254 on: January 12, 2021, 12:08:20 am »
Magnet onna stick? Unless placcy key.

Yep, plastic.  With a triangular hole in the end to prevent scratters from opening the box with pliers.

I wot not the variety of horrible spiky bush I have lurking outside the Chips Room window but my arm is still itching twelve hours later.  If it's pizened me, why can't it pizen the bloody pigeons instead >:(
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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2255 on: January 12, 2021, 07:54:58 am »
It's a steal for £2

Kim

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2256 on: January 12, 2021, 01:30:13 pm »
I have a splendid multi-ended metaaal key for haxx0ring into miscellaneous electrical boxes for nefarious porpoises[1].  It's currently communing with the tape measures, thobut.


[1] Eg. performing the arcane car park ritual required to produce trackside electrons at Leicester cycle circuit without the aid of petril.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

quixoticgeek

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2257 on: January 12, 2021, 08:37:24 pm »
I have a splendid multi-ended metaaal key for haxx0ring into miscellaneous electrical boxes for nefarious porpoises[1].  It's currently communing with the tape measures, thobut.


[1] Eg. performing the arcane car park ritual required to produce trackside electrons at Leicester cycle circuit without the aid of petril.

I have a multi ended plastic one in my top tube bag on my bike, useful for accessing taps at gas stations and churches in Sweden...

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hellymedic

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2258 on: January 12, 2021, 09:30:16 pm »
I haz spare meter cupboard key but I are in Wrong Quadrant of That London.

Mr Larrington

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2259 on: January 13, 2021, 12:48:46 am »
I managed to extricate the key from the horrible spiky bush at the cost of several impressive scratches on my right forearm, one of which is about eight of the BRITONS' inches long.  It looks as though I've been spoffling a bad-tempered leopard.
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Mrs Pingu

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2260 on: January 13, 2021, 06:03:17 pm »
Why didn't you just butcher the bush to deth?
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Kim

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2261 on: January 13, 2021, 06:07:21 pm »
Why didn't you just butcher the bush to deth?

It's shit weather for a bike ride, which means it's doubly shit weather for doing Gardening.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Mr Larrington

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2262 on: January 13, 2021, 06:57:31 pm »
Why didn't you just butcher the bush to deth?

I've attacked the wretched horrible spiky thing with all the weapons at my disposal a Several of times but it always comes back, undead, bullet-proof and with inhuman strength.  Unfortunately you don’t seem to be able to get Agent Orange in Homebase.
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citoyen

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2263 on: January 13, 2021, 07:11:08 pm »
Unfortunately you don’t seem to be able to get Agent Orange in Homebase.

Have you tried The Range? Or maybe it's more of an Aldi Thursday Special thing.
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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2264 on: January 13, 2021, 07:40:20 pm »
Why didn't you just butcher the bush to deth?

I've attacked the wretched horrible spiky thing with all the weapons at my disposal a Several of times but it always comes back, undead, bullet-proof and with inhuman strength.  Unfortunately you don’t seem to be able to get Agent Orange in Homebase.

It's surprising how often this seems to be the answer.

(Btw: did this meme die and I didn't get the email? There was a time when I would never have got in first)
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Cudzoziemiec

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2265 on: January 13, 2021, 07:45:43 pm »
Agent Orange is probably available via Netflix.
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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2266 on: January 14, 2021, 06:25:26 pm »
Can't you get napalm  ;)
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robgul

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2267 on: January 15, 2021, 07:59:08 am »
Agent Orange is probably available via Netflix.


I thought Agent Orange was impeached on Wednesday ??
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Mr Larrington

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2268 on: January 15, 2021, 10:45:23 am »
Can't you get napalm  ;)

Use of fiery burny DETH on HSB* sadly contra-indicated due to proximity of house in general and gas meter in particular.

* Horrible Spiky Bush, not the BEER formerly brewed in Horndean.
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tiermat

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2270 on: January 16, 2021, 07:03:28 pm »
I appear to have paid off the credit card twice this month.
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Cudzoziemiec

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2271 on: January 16, 2021, 07:05:59 pm »
Agent Orange is probably available via Netflix.


I thought Agent Orange was impeached on Wednesday ??
:thumbsup:
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Basil

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2272 on: January 16, 2021, 08:22:16 pm »
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ian

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2273 on: January 16, 2021, 08:47:07 pm »
Direct Debit for that. The robots rule.
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hellymedic

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2274 on: January 16, 2021, 08:55:35 pm »
Direct Debit for that. The robots rule.

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