Author Topic: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread  (Read 452736 times)

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2300 on: 03 February, 2021, 08:39:49 am »
Making my baked risotto, I'm stirring away at the base, softening some leek, celery and garlic in olive oil. I thought I'd throw some remaining mushrooms, a bit off-plan but they looking sad in the bottom of the fridge, so chop chop and in they go, and I'm stirring away to reduce those down and thinking, mmm, these mushrooms smell a bit odd. A sort savoury smoky flavour. So I stir a bit more. It really does start to smell quite strange. Not mushroomy, not garlicky, not really like a risotto base at all. How odd. I raise my hands in defeat and notice I'm holding a flaming dishtowel.

I nearly did same sort of thing upthread:

https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=95565.msg2582795#msg2582795
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

ian

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2301 on: 03 February, 2021, 09:30:41 am »
It was burning slowly because it was a bit damp. I was using to hold the casserole dish in place. It really was impressively fiery. Fortunately, I was in throwing distance of the kitchen sink.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2302 on: 03 February, 2021, 11:07:44 am »
Making my baked risotto, I'm stirring away at the base, softening some leek, celery and garlic in olive oil. I thought I'd throw some remaining mushrooms, a bit off-plan but they looking sad in the bottom of the fridge, so chop chop and in they go, and I'm stirring away to reduce those down and thinking, mmm, these mushrooms smell a bit odd. A sort savoury smoky flavour. So I stir a bit more. It really does start to smell quite strange. Not mushroomy, not garlicky, not really like a risotto base at all. How odd. I raise my hands in defeat and notice I'm holding a flaming dishtowel.

 ;D ;D The last 2 sentences made me laugh, which I really needed today, so thank you.  :)

Also, got a recipe for the baked risotto?

ian

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2303 on: 03 February, 2021, 11:54:01 am »
Pretty simple, make a usual risotto base (finely chopped up onion/leek and celery) and soften in olive oil (you could use butter), add a couple of finely chopped garlic cloves towards the end, once everything has softened (but not coloured) add in the risotto rice (about 140g for two) and give it a few minutes with regular stirring (add a bit more oil if it starts to catch). One the rice is a bit translucent, throw in a glass of white wine (hold onto the glass, just the wine) and reduce it down till everything is getting sticky and then add a half litre of hot stock.

Cover and put in the oven for 35 minutes (about 160 degrees). At that point take out and add other ingredients (I added chopped kale and smoked haddock), give it a good stir and a bit more boiling water if it's looking dry, put the lid back on and give it another fifteen minutes. You can add any ingredients as you would a stove-top risotto but it avoids all the constant stirring business. At the end, stir in a generous helping of cheese and a squish of lemon juice and a bit of chopped parsley (or whatever else goes without whatever concoction you're risottoizing).

It didn't really benefit from the mushroom or flaming dishtowel.

Beardy

  • Shedist
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2304 on: 03 February, 2021, 11:57:32 am »
I like the sound of that, all the stirring can get tedious. It’s a bit like making a savoury rice pudding...
For every complex problem in the world, there is a simple and easily understood solution that’s wrong.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2305 on: 03 February, 2021, 12:14:41 pm »
If you're not going to stir, make a paella instead.
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

Mrs Pingu

  • Who ate all the pies? Me
    • Twitter
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2306 on: 03 February, 2021, 12:43:53 pm »
I do that but without the baking. Felicity Cloake decided it was possible to do an almost no stir risotto.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/apr/26/no-stir-risotto-recipe-felicity-cloake-masterclass
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2307 on: 03 February, 2021, 01:11:19 pm »
You know how when you've been faffing with notwork cables and end up rearranging some of the furniture and end up with a crate or two full of Stuffs that ought to have been relocated upstairs five years ago in a place where your feet don’t expect them to be and thus smite the said crate with the said foot a blow such as would loosen the bollocks of the very mightiest of heffalumps?
Yes, exactly like that.
Update: toenails aren’t meant to be black even after you’ve scrubbed off all the Sock Residue, are they?

No, but you can let out the blood from a subungual haematoma if you unbend a paper clip, heat to red heat and apply to the nail.
Pffft! Blood WILL spray!

I think it can stay black for now.  It’s not as if anyone's going to see it.

I solved the Black/falling off big toenails problem by having them removed. I mean it's not as if you need them once you can afford shoes *

Back to the thread topic todays local div search is hunting for the idiot who put the bottle of olive oil in the fridge.

* Someone will be along in a sec to explain why big toenails are vital and getting rid of them is a mistake.
“There is no point in using the word 'impossible' to describe something that has clearly happened.”
― Douglas Adams

Tim Hall

  • Victoria is my queen
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2308 on: 03 February, 2021, 01:31:48 pm »


I solved the Black/falling off big toenails problem by having them removed. I mean it's not as if you need them once you can afford shoes *

Back to the thread topic todays local div search is hunting for the idiot who put the bottle of olive oil in the fridge.

* Someone will be along in a sec to explain why big toenails are vital and getting rid of them is a mistake.
I have toe nails. I have not put any bottles of olive oil in the fridge. The evidence, I think, is clear.  Having toenails prevents olive oil related div-ness.
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

ian

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2309 on: 03 February, 2021, 01:38:00 pm »
I do that but without the baking. Felicity Cloake decided it was possible to do an almost no stir risotto.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/apr/26/no-stir-risotto-recipe-felicity-cloake-masterclass

I find that the oven method leads to move even cooking (I've never been convinced by the constant stirring, it always seemed mostly ceremonial) without the risk of the rice catching on the bottom of the pan. Shove it in the oven, go drink the rest of the white wine (otherwise it might go off), serve.

fuzzy

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2310 on: 03 February, 2021, 02:06:25 pm »
Putting wine in your own cooking does not compute.
Wine is for drinking.
Or for having in somebody else's cooking.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2311 on: 03 February, 2021, 02:11:25 pm »
I do that but without the baking. Felicity Cloake decided it was possible to do an almost no stir risotto.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/apr/26/no-stir-risotto-recipe-felicity-cloake-masterclass

Delia did it decades ago. I still don't think it's right  :)
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2312 on: 04 February, 2021, 01:08:46 pm »
Is a no-stir risotto not just a rice pudding made without milk?

ian

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2313 on: 04 February, 2021, 01:11:26 pm »
It is basically a savoury rice pudding. The Chinese go a step further with savoury porridge (congee, made with rice, but it's sort of the consistency of oat porridge, like very sloppy risotto) which hasn't really caught on with the westerners.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2314 on: 04 February, 2021, 02:00:17 pm »
Savoury oat porridge = gruel, I make it regularly, like a risotto, but better.  Obvs not Ol Twist Style
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2315 on: 04 February, 2021, 03:33:40 pm »
It is basically a savoury rice pudding. The Chinese go a step further with savoury porridge (congee, made with rice, but it's sort of the consistency of oat porridge, like very sloppy risotto) which hasn't really caught on with the westerners.

Is pearl barley risotto still a thing?
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2316 on: 04 February, 2021, 05:48:28 pm »
It is basically a savoury rice pudding. The Chinese go a step further with savoury porridge (congee, made with rice, but it's sort of the consistency of oat porridge, like very sloppy risotto) which hasn't really caught on with the westerners.

Is pearl barley risotto still a thing?

Only if you move in the right circles.

For plebs like me it's just a soup bulking agent
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

ian

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2317 on: 04 February, 2021, 06:06:48 pm »
It is basically a savoury rice pudding. The Chinese go a step further with savoury porridge (congee, made with rice, but it's sort of the consistency of oat porridge, like very sloppy risotto) which hasn't really caught on with the westerners.

Is pearl barley risotto still a thing?

Yes, and spelt for the über-hipsters who find rice so last year. Idiots, everyone knows teff is where it's at.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2318 on: 05 February, 2021, 01:50:12 pm »
It is basically a savoury rice pudding. The Chinese go a step further with savoury porridge (congee, made with rice, but it's sort of the consistency of oat porridge, like very sloppy risotto) which hasn't really caught on with the westerners.

Is pearl barley risotto still a thing?

Yes, and spelt for the über-hipsters who find rice so last year. Idiots, everyone knows teff is where it's at.
I agree with regard to teff.  Ethiopian food is some of my favourite.  However I just cannot cook with Teff, it comes out completely inedible.

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2319 on: 05 February, 2021, 03:00:10 pm »
I remember reading a book by Jed Mercurio (ex junior doc & TV screenwriter) in which he detailed how an exhausted, overworked junior doc totally f*cked one up & killed the patient....

That would be where he got the idea for the storyline in Bodies, where an exhausted, overworked junior doc (played by Max Beesley) kills a patient by botching an emergency tracheotomy.

I understand a number of the storylines were drawn from his real life experiences. It's a really good series but pretty gruesome at times.
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

nicknack

  • Hornblower
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2320 on: 06 February, 2021, 03:12:50 pm »
Note to self: do not click on the link in a Messenger post from some random Facebook friend before switching on brain.

I've now spent a while apologising to about 50 people who got the same link from me. Fortunately none of them appear to be as stupid as me. Also fortunate that I only run on Linux.
There's no vibrations, but wait.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2321 on: 09 February, 2021, 08:45:03 am »
Carefully put paddles in car. Very carefully strap two kayaks onto car in prep for 580 mile drive to outer hebrides.

Very windy in Hebrides, so can't get out on the water. Book Wed off work, because the wind is dropping then.

Remember that buoyancy aid is hanging on hook in landlord's house, 580 miles away.


Mrs C says she needs a BA, so see if I can order one for delivery before Wed.  <google> 'Deliver by Tues'. Ok, I have to pay for delivery, but that seems fair. Pay. Confirmation - delivery Tues.

Monday lunchtime; courier update - delivery Thurs. Arse.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

Mrs Pingu

  • Who ate all the pies? Me
    • Twitter
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2322 on: 09 February, 2021, 01:05:49 pm »
Local Facebook page got someone who would loan or sell you one locally?
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

bhoot

  • MemSec (ex-Mrs RRtY)
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2323 on: 09 February, 2021, 02:05:21 pm »
Whereabouts in the Hebrides? I know some sea kayakers living out there.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #2324 on: 09 February, 2021, 07:02:43 pm »
Whereabouts in the Hebrides? I know some sea kayakers living out there.

Isle of lewis.

I've tried contacting the stornoway club, but no reply. Guess they've completely shut due to corvid.

A replacement will arrive thurs; it is just narking me because Wed will be the only day since we arrived when it has been calm enough to sensibly go out.  So missing Wed means another week.  It is my own fault, not picking it up off a hook.


Once I have more experience I'll brave the gales, but discretion rules for a bit.
<i>Marmite slave</i>