Author Topic: audaxspotting (inevitably)  (Read 23494 times)

audaxspotting (inevitably)
« on: May 18, 2009, 08:16:34 pm »
Choose life.  Choose audaxing.  Choose mudguards.  Choose Brooks.  Choose a fucking big saddlebag, choose a map trap, choose route sheets, choose XR, RB, S/O and dynamos.  Choose rain, wind, sleet and snow.  Choose the only type of bike that never gets stolen.  Choose Sudocrem.  Choose a lucky hat and a gilet that went out of fashion in the 1980s.  Choose flapjacks in a range of fucking flavours.  Choose a 600 and wonder what the fuck you're doing up a Welsh mountain in the dark.  Choose sitting in a village hall trying not to make eye contact with your mind-numbing, spirit crushing fellow riders, drinking orange juice out of a Tetrapak.  Choose rotting away at the end of it all, babbling about the 50/50 rule in some urine-soaked bus shelter, nothing more than an embarrassment to the fucking sportives they spawned to replace you.

Choose your future.  Choose audaxing.
And Darkness and Decay and the Coronavirus held illimitable dominion over all.

Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2009, 08:18:45 pm »
Very very good!   ;D

Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2009, 08:26:18 pm »
Quick - someone grab a Gimp/Photoshop-a-like, the original Trainspotting artwork, and some cycling shirts. I feel a new AUK shirt coming on...  :thumbsup:

Hell I'd wear one. And that's more than can be said for (a) the YACF shirts and (b) the current AUK shirts.

Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2009, 08:30:06 pm »


There you go :)

Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2009, 08:31:30 pm »
I think it's very very wude and the ladies who make the tea wouldn't like it  ;D
And Darkness and Decay and the Coronavirus held illimitable dominion over all.

Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #5 on: May 18, 2009, 08:32:55 pm »
if you could get it embroidered onto a badge, I'd stitch that to the back of my carradice  ;D

Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2009, 08:34:26 pm »
Arrrgh! I Want One NOW!

Shirt, sticker, badge - whatever.

chris

  • (aka chris)
Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #7 on: May 18, 2009, 08:40:56 pm »

Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #8 on: May 18, 2009, 08:42:31 pm »

chris

  • (aka chris)
Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #9 on: May 18, 2009, 08:46:03 pm »
if you could get it embroidered onto a badge, I'd stitch that to the back of my carradice  ;D

here, but if we're going for a batch then perhaps we should moderate the language a bit (but they will print anything!).

Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #10 on: May 18, 2009, 08:49:17 pm »
Thats two tee shirts we're gonna have to do now :thumbsup:

Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #11 on: May 18, 2009, 08:52:13 pm »
In the YACF stylee and without the use of f words maybe? 

iddu

  • Are we there yet?
Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #12 on: May 18, 2009, 08:59:38 pm »
Arrrgh! I Want One NOW!

Shirt, sticker, badge - whatever.

Yes!!! +1.
You'll be starting a clothing sweatshop in yer garage next  ;)
I'd offer you some moral support - but I have questionable morals.

Andrij

  • Андрій
  • Ερασιτεχνικός μισάνθρωπος
Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #13 on: May 18, 2009, 09:03:47 pm »
 :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
;D  Andrij.  I pronounce you Complete and Utter GIT   :thumbsup:

simonp

  • Omnomnomnipotent.
Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #14 on: May 18, 2009, 09:09:44 pm »
That needs to be made into a jersey.

Pls to also make a fixiespotting one.

Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #15 on: May 18, 2009, 09:16:57 pm »
I'd buy that shirt!
Garry Broad

Wowbagger

  • Dez's butler
    • Musings of a Gentleman Cyclist
Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #16 on: May 18, 2009, 10:08:29 pm »
Could it not be engraved on Hummers' gusset?
Eating's a serious business. Don't bollocks around wagging your tail.

zzpza

Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #17 on: May 18, 2009, 11:40:06 pm »
a new jersey design?

LEE

Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #18 on: May 19, 2009, 10:23:21 am »
Excellent.

Remove the expletives or insert aserisks (because I suspect it may affect its chances of being published) and submit to Arrivee immediately.


"Choose Frijj Milkshakes on a Garage Forecourt"

Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #19 on: May 19, 2009, 05:51:09 pm »
I wanted to work garages in there somehow, but it would have involved food and I *had* to have the orange juice and village hall.

But no, I wouldn't wear it or associate my name with the potty-mouth language version  O:-)
And Darkness and Decay and the Coronavirus held illimitable dominion over all.

red marley

Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #20 on: May 19, 2009, 06:53:45 pm »
I like the Frijj milkshakes on a Garage Forecourt addition.

For what it's worth, I just don't get the 'no eye contact in a village hall' thing. I don't think it's my sense of humour failure, but I've just not noticed anything like that on any audax (maybe I need to make more eye contact). The rest is great though.

Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #21 on: May 19, 2009, 07:43:01 pm »
It's a stereotype and, like all the best ones, it's made-up.  All audaxers are miserable sociopaths, y'see.
And Darkness and Decay and the Coronavirus held illimitable dominion over all.

border-rider

Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #22 on: May 19, 2009, 07:44:39 pm »
Check out the eyelines in the first photos on the BCM pics thread :)






Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #23 on: May 19, 2009, 07:51:11 pm »
 ;D  ISWYM
And Darkness and Decay and the Coronavirus held illimitable dominion over all.

Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
« Reply #24 on: May 19, 2009, 07:59:21 pm »
Arrrgh! I Want One NOW!

Shirt, sticker, badge - whatever.
I'd buy it. A cloth badge would be perfect. I'd buy one for each Carradice cotton duck bag I have, so there's a couple of sales already.
"A woman on a bicycle has all the world before her where to choose; she can go where she will, no man hindering." The Type-Writer Girl, 1897