Author Topic: YACF Christmas Panto (Read 5051 times)

ScumOfTheRoad · « **on:** 07 December, 2011, 11:12:35 am »

The time has come to cast the YACF Christmas Panto.

This year's theme will be an Panto for Grownups - so characters with smutty names and double-entendres are positively welcomed.
We also need some sort of plot - we just can't have a cast of random characters coming on and doing Oooh err missus bloomer jokes.

Also this year I need some helpers to do the scenery and staging.

Oscar's dad · « **Reply #1 on:** 07 December, 2011, 11:15:04 am »

Please can I be the Virgin Mary? I have all the qualifications: I'm not a virgin and my name isn't Mary.

Eccentrica Gallumbits · « **Reply #2 on:** 07 December, 2011, 11:15:37 am »

I will use my OT skills to decorate the stage with batik, marbling and raffia stuff.

ScumOfTheRoad · « **Reply #3 on:** 07 December, 2011, 11:48:18 am »

Excellent! We have a PC themed panto with a male Virgin Mary - not discrimination here.
And an OT to help the 'challenged' members of YACF to decorate the stage.

So this year's theme is an Adult PC Panto.

Oscar's dad · « **Reply #4 on:** 07 December, 2011, 11:51:53 am »

Quote from: ScumOfTheRoad on 07 December, 2011, 11:48:18 am

Excellent! We have a PC themed panto with a male Virgin Mary - not discrimination here.
And an OT to help the 'challenged' members of YACF to decorate the stage.

So this year's theme is an Adult PC Panto.

Oi, who says I'm male? I might be fancying a change, just for the festive period you understand.

Wowbagger · « **Reply #5 on:** 07 December, 2011, 11:52:48 am »

Woolly could be a sheep, although rumour has it he could double up as a donkey.

ScumOfTheRoad · « **Reply #6 on:** 07 December, 2011, 12:12:41 pm »

Quote from: Wowbagger on 07 December, 2011, 11:52:48 am

Woolly could be a sheep, although rumour has it he could double up as a donkey.

Wooly - the World's Best Hung Sheep.
We shall need a costume, and a song-and-dance number for him.

Oscar's dad · « **Reply #7 on:** 07 December, 2011, 12:15:46 pm »

Quote from: ScumOfTheRoad on 07 December, 2011, 12:12:41 pm

Quote from: Wowbagger on 07 December, 2011, 11:52:48 am
Woolly could be a sheep, although rumour has it he could double up as a donkey.

Wooly - the World's Best Hung Sheep.

Someone had better check he's got the balls for it.

Regulator · « **Reply #8 on:** 07 December, 2011, 01:01:32 pm »

Quote from: Oscar's dad on 07 December, 2011, 12:15:46 pm

Quote from: ScumOfTheRoad on 07 December, 2011, 12:12:41 pm
Quote from: Wowbagger on 07 December, 2011, 11:52:48 am
Woolly could be a sheep, although rumour has it he could double up as a donkey.

Wooly - the World's Best Hung Sheep.

Someone had better check he's got the balls for it.

*Waves his hand in the air*

Me sir, me sir....

Oscar's dad · « **Reply #9 on:** 07 December, 2011, 01:07:32 pm »

Quote from: Regulator on 07 December, 2011, 01:01:32 pm

Quote from: Oscar's dad on 07 December, 2011, 12:15:46 pm
Quote from: ScumOfTheRoad on 07 December, 2011, 12:12:41 pm
Quote from: Wowbagger on 07 December, 2011, 11:52:48 am
Woolly could be a sheep, although rumour has it he could double up as a donkey.

Wooly - the World's Best Hung Sheep.

Someone had better check he's got the balls for it.

*Waves his hand in the air*

Me sir, me sir....

They'd better be warm hands!

At what point are we going to get cracking on the panto itself? I seem to remember that last year the casting dragged on and the panto itself just fizzled out. The previous year's performance was hysterically funny! Perhaps we should have a cut off (no, I'm not talking about Woolly's nuts

) date for the casting. Just a thought.

Eccentrica Gallumbits · « **Reply #10 on:** 07 December, 2011, 01:17:58 pm »

I nominate Bobb as Prince Charming.

Oscar's dad · « **Reply #11 on:** 07 December, 2011, 01:19:19 pm »

Quote from: Kirst on 07 December, 2011, 01:17:58 pm

I nominate Bobb as Prince Charming.

Perfect!

Might he shag the Virgin Mary? If so, is he gentle?

Kim · « **Reply #12 on:** 07 December, 2011, 03:04:33 pm »

Bagsy my traditional role of groping around in the dark. Clarion is welcome to assist.

Regulator · « **Reply #13 on:** 07 December, 2011, 03:06:27 pm »

Quote from: Oscar's dad on 07 December, 2011, 01:19:19 pm

Quote from: Kirst on 07 December, 2011, 01:17:58 pm
I nominate Bobb as Prince Charming.

Perfect!

Might he shag the Virgin Mary? If so, is he gentle?

Lube, OD, lube... And don't clench.

Oscar's dad · « **Reply #14 on:** 07 December, 2011, 03:14:06 pm »

Quote from: Regulator on 07 December, 2011, 03:06:27 pm

Quote from: Oscar's dad on 07 December, 2011, 01:19:19 pm
Quote from: Kirst on 07 December, 2011, 01:17:58 pm
I nominate Bobb as Prince Charming.

Perfect!

Might he shag the Virgin Mary? If so, is he gentle?

Lube, OD, lube... And don't clench.

I think you mean Mary. Who's this OD person? Probably a right idiot.

huggy · « **Reply #15 on:** 07 December, 2011, 03:50:32 pm »

I have some recent experience of playing a silly arse as an overgrown elf at the weekend

Regulator · « **Reply #16 on:** 07 December, 2011, 03:54:26 pm »

Which panto are we doing? Which Dame shall I be playing?

ScumOfTheRoad · « **Reply #17 on:** 07 December, 2011, 03:57:34 pm »

Regulator, this is an Adult Panto.
You are playing Dame Helen Mirren. Get out the stockings and high heels now.

Regulator · « **Reply #18 on:** 07 December, 2011, 03:58:30 pm »

Quote from: ScumOfTheRoad on 07 December, 2011, 03:57:34 pm

Regulator, this is an Adult Panto.
You are playing Dame Helen Mirren. Get out the stockings and high heels now.

Oooh - luvverly. I was dreading Judie Dench.

ScumOfTheRoad · « **Reply #19 on:** 07 December, 2011, 03:59:17 pm »

If Bobb is Prince Charming, then we need a Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies.
Who can that be, children? Is she behind me? Is she going to hit me? Is she? Is she?

Oscar's dad · « **Reply #20 on:** 07 December, 2011, 04:00:55 pm »

Quote from: Regulator on 07 December, 2011, 03:58:30 pm

Quote from: ScumOfTheRoad on 07 December, 2011, 03:57:34 pm
Regulator, this is an Adult Panto.
You are playing Dame Helen Mirren. Get out the stockings and high heels now.

Oooh - luvverly. I was dreading Judie Dench.

So was Dame Judie!

Edit: actually it's Judi, no e

Kim · « **Reply #21 on:** 07 December, 2011, 04:34:21 pm »

Quote from: ScumOfTheRoad on 07 December, 2011, 03:57:34 pm

Regulator, this is an Adult Panto.
You are playing Dame Helen Mirren. Get out the stockings and high heels now.

"Don't call me ma'am – I'm not the bloody Queen"

ScumOfTheRoad · « **Reply #22 on:** 07 December, 2011, 04:49:20 pm »

Ma'am as in Ham.

I think Regulator needs to work on a routine as Dame Helen Mirren, who comes on to teach the audience how to say Yes Ma'am.
Or Yes Mistress. Yes. Yes.

Arch · « **Reply #23 on:** 07 December, 2011, 05:43:02 pm »

ooh ooh, can I be Buttons?

Only buttons are fiddly, so I'd prefer to be Zips.

ScumOfTheRoad · « **Reply #24 on:** 07 December, 2011, 05:52:30 pm »

Decision made. Arch is cast as Zips, our Panto Gimp.

Leather costume please, lots of zips. But conveniently forget the strategic one at the crotch, so the audience can have endless laughs as Zips tries to ask to be let out of his suit to go to the bathroom.
Sorry - as Panto Director I can be so cruel, darlings.