Author Topic: [LEL] Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route  (Read 31418 times)

simonp

Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #100 on: 04 August, 2013, 03:49:16 pm »
I liked the bit, not too far into the ride, when the lady was shouting to riders... "Cambridge that way, Edinburgh this way".

That was so the LEL riders didn't get mixed up with the London to Cambridge charity ride that was using the same section of road. We chuckled too  :D

In the early start before L2C had started there was a loud shout and a tandem screeched to a halt halfway down the hill thinking they had gone wrong, nearly causing a massive pile-up. We were thinking it would be utterly chaotic with 4000 L2C riders on the road later on.

Lars

  • n.b. have shaved off beard since photo taken
Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #101 on: 04 August, 2013, 03:55:12 pm »
I started 9.45, and the section shared with the L2C riders was indeed chaotic. Three four people on mtn bikes etc riding abreast. People loking backwards swaying all over the road, fast race types motoring through the packs on the outside, dangerously close to meeting traffic. Was a big relief when the routes diverged. Then later they met again. Was thinking oh no, here we go again. But luckily they had a R@X after just 100m or so. Phew!

Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #102 on: 04 August, 2013, 05:07:47 pm »
One of my best moments was just after Thirsk northbound. I had slept and left reasonably early Monday morning.

You climb a short hill and then there is a racetrack next to you.

As I went along the road, 4 beautiful racehorses were being put through their paces.

The noise of horses galloping is something else.
Like a TdF moment?

I had similar but it involved cows.

Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #103 on: 04 August, 2013, 05:24:17 pm »
I had similar but it involved cows.
Do they race cows in France?  You'll be telling me next they eat horses.  It couldn't happen here, of course.

321up

  • 59° N
Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #104 on: 04 August, 2013, 09:05:44 pm »
Saw a velomobile attempting to get around the hairpin on the South bound decent to the Tees, seems the turning circle is somewhat lacking (fortunately he stopped safely).  Had seen one the previous day going unbelievably fast down hill, but that road was much straighter.

Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #105 on: 04 August, 2013, 09:27:56 pm »
Saw a velomobile attempting to get around the hairpin on the South bound decent to the Tees, seems the turning circle is somewhat lacking (fortunately he stopped safely).  Had seen one the previous day going unbelievably fast down hill, but that road was much straighter.

My brakes failed on that when I was a kid, and I used the handy escape route down the footpath towards Whorlton Lido ;D The gap's probably a bit too narrow for a rampant velomobile, though.

Bairdy

  • Former Pints Champion
Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #106 on: 04 August, 2013, 09:28:09 pm »
On the last day, just after dawn, cycling along side the river just behind a Barn Owl that was out hunting, I followed and caught up with it
over about 4 - 500 meters.
It was such a beautiful moment. As I rode alongside it, it peeled off, away from me between two trees and off across the river.

I told other riders later on, at least two other groups had seen it.
"And I been up to my neck in pleasure
              Up to my neck in pain"

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #107 on: 04 August, 2013, 10:06:54 pm »
Saw a velomobile attempting to get around the hairpin on the South bound decent to the Tees, seems the turning circle is somewhat lacking (fortunately he stopped safely).

Which leaves me wondering how the 'reverse gear' works on a velomobile.  Presumably the gaps in the floor are big enough to get a foot down, otherwise it must get pretty tedious...
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Redlight

  • Enjoying life in the slow lane
Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #108 on: 04 August, 2013, 10:17:54 pm »
German tandem fracas on Friday.

Given what happened later - I am fairly sure that it was a row about

 - well you packed my stuff - so where the F*ck is it now?
 No I didnt - you didnt take it on the ride.
Of course I bloody did - i always take it ....  unpack your bags and find it
Why dont you unpack your bags and look properly - and while you are at it - just leave the bag over your head - not only would I not be able to hear you but looks wise it would be a great improvement too.

For Fucks sake - i have looked at your fat arse for 1400kms - and you have lost my xxxx - just get stuffed and sod off back to your wife too - while you are at it . You really are a useless tosser

Repeat 6 times - louder each time..

Ok so what was it that was lost -- well she came up to me 15 minutes later - when i was pretty busy trying to get japanese who spoke no English a taxi to bayswater - and she fairly politely asked about lost property at Loughton. Went on to explain - now almost in tears that she had lost a very special , very old , irreplaceable cycling skirt -- I momentarily wondered whether she rode side -saddle - but as i failed to jump to her command - and she was beginning to look ready for another MAJOR yelling row - I pointed her towards the lost property boxes - unfortunately they did not contain the missing garment -- and I am fairly sure that I was now classified as a brain dead toss pot - and the whole effing organisation of LEL was worse than useless.

She then departed.

It's amazing the trouble a bit of skirt can get you into :-)

I think I know the skirt in question - she put it on at the control (and presumably removed her shorts beneath it).  To be honest, we had more stylish tea towels...
Why should anybody steal a watch when they can steal a bicycle?

arallsopp

  • Beansontoast
    • Barring Mechanicals Blog
Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #109 on: 04 August, 2013, 10:32:20 pm »

Which leaves me wondering how the 'reverse gear' works on a velomobile.  Presumably the gaps in the floor are big enough to get a foot down, otherwise it must get pretty tedious...

Yes. Mine had a 24" Flintstone reverse gear. The more streamlined only have openings on one side, so are a 12" :)
Love words, hate lulu? Buy "Barring Mechanicals" on Amazon UK or US

Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #110 on: 04 August, 2013, 10:39:30 pm »
Many velomobiles such as the Quest have heel slots for reversing, some velomobiles don't have a reverse such as the Evo-K- and Milan SL which both have solid floorpans for more speed.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #111 on: 04 August, 2013, 10:41:41 pm »
I'll add 'parking sensors' after 'periscope' on my velomobile essential kit list then :)
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #112 on: 04 August, 2013, 11:21:55 pm »
At Buckingham Palace, with Charlotte busy with her camera.

Me: "Hey Charlotte, how come you are not riding this?!"

Charlotte: "Because I'm sensible!"
"There is nothing nothing nothing wrong with spending money on a bike."--R. Ballantine

Salvatore

  • Джон Спунър
    • Pics
Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #113 on: 06 August, 2013, 11:52:52 am »
LEL 1993, middle of the night. Dark, cold and drizzly. A19 north of York. Up ahead I make out a couple of red light. One is static, but the other, next to it, is moving up and down, as if someone is playing with an LED-equipped yo-yo to pass the long hours of the night. When we (I was riding with Ann and Bernard Daws) caught up with the lights, it turned out to be a youthful teethgrinder on his Moulton/Pashley APB with a small LED light attached to his ankle.

Fast forward to:

LEL 2013, early morning. Sunny but fresh. South of Lockerbie, heading north. Teethgrinder, on his new orange Moulton/Pashley, overtakes us (Bruno and me) with an enormous grin on his face. He gets about 10 yards ahead of us, fumbles in his pocket, extracts a yo-yo, and starts displaying his yo-yoing skills as he rides away from us. Cue laughter from me, bemusement from Bruno and another grin from tg as he replaces the yo-yo in his pocket and disappears up the road towards Moffat.
Quote
et avec John, excellent lecteur de road-book, on s'en est sortis sans erreur

Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #114 on: 06 August, 2013, 11:55:16 am »
He's special, isn't he?!

Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #115 on: 06 August, 2013, 01:05:27 pm »
as for 'idiot' he did say what he said to a rider who politely asked for tomato sauce to go with fish and chips, I appreciate he might have had a tough day but that's his job and to say that to a 'customer' that's tired and hungry and perfectly civil would be actionable in most professions.

You're mixing your chefs up. Vincent was the one shouting at riders about ketchup, which was an idiotic thing to do. The other chef was, for the most part, unfailingly polite to everyone.

To this point I have kept quiet about this cretin, assuming that his rudeness and complete idiocy was limited to the period when I stopped at this control.

Where shall I start? Least serious first:

1. As I leave the premises, he screams at riders, "get these fuc$ing shoes out of the way".  I narrowly avoided an explosion with this character but bit my lip in fear of destroying what had been an enjoyable day to that point.

2. Secondly, he screams at a kitchen assistant, '"fuking well finish that". Oddly, the assistant was using a chip fryer outside of the kitchens in the yard.  I am not convinced that North Lincolnshire Council's regulatory services would have approved of such unusual hygiene standards.

3. The most serious: I suffer an unusual food intolerance caused by onions.  It is not my expectation for caterers or the LEL organisers to cater for such an oddity.  However, when I asked the Chef a straight forward and politely questioned, "does this contain onions as I have an intolerance", all I received was a rude retort.  "What the fuk are you on about?".  He then points at some trays.  One mouthful of what was clearly an onion based gravy was sufficient. Perhaps he was being vicious, perhaps he did not understand, perhaps he did not hear me correctly or perhaps he was mistaken in his advice? 

That was the end of my LEL.

I crawled to Plocklington with increasing discomfort and nausea.  Coupled to the fact I could not get an early bed, by dawn I was shot.  Not that a bed would have helped. At 45 minute intervals I was sat on the one of the few Plocklington toilets trying evacuate this poison.  The cramps and discomfort in my stomach made me wonder if a Nazi jack booted soldier had decided to use it as a punch bag.  It took 24 hours to recover. LEL was over and I limped into York station the following morning dosed with antihistamines and Gaviscon and attempting to eat anything bland that may settle this discomfort.

It has convinced me that events such as LEL are not for me unless I source my own alternative food supplies. Perhaps I should have given more forethought to the matter.  By no means is this a criticism of the marvellous team that ran this event or the volunteers at Market Rasen, who have my deepest sympathy.


PS.  Onions will not be on the menu at The Kidderminster Killer

EDIT - Despite my protestations and the forced DNF, the LEL gave various pleasures: (i) a wonderful outbound ride with some great fellow riders; (ii) engagement with a wonderful atmosphere (minus the chef), and (iii) an enjoyment reading about and following those fellow riders that did manage to finish.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #116 on: 06 August, 2013, 03:00:40 pm »
Yegods.  As you say, catering for everyone's dietary requirements is borderline impossible, but providing accurate information about ingredients is a serious matter, extremely helpful and costs nothing.

That he evidently had an attitude problem goes without saying, but that sort of misinformation can be life-threatening if not ride-threatening, and you'd expect a professional caterer - no matter how bad-tempered - to know better.

 >:(

(I'm also convinced that providing at least some of my own food is a necessity for longer audax events.  While I'm relatively lucky in that it would normally take a whole portion of onion/tomato/chips/fryup to trigger similar symptoms, I have the additional awkwardness that simply not eating enough can have the same effect.)
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #117 on: 07 August, 2013, 09:05:37 am »
I saw horse poo advertised everywhere as "horse manure"... except in the Howardian Hills, where it was advertised as "horse muck" as can actually be seen on this picture: https://twitter.com/Terringtonian/status/362531341973204992/photo/1
The smell of it at Brampton on the way back didn't contribute to my appetite, I have to say.

I'm sad to report that the German tandem wasn't of much entertainment to me. They overtook me while the stoker was clearly having an argument, with the Swedish recumbent in their wheel. And they missed a turn (left off the B1192 going north) immediately after, I had to use my imagination about what happened on that tandem when they found out. It took quite a while before they overtook me again.
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It has been too many days since I have ridden through the night with a brevet card in my pocket...

Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #118 on: 07 August, 2013, 09:10:39 am »
I seem to recall an episode at the Barnard Castle control were arvid and companion where taking a great deal of interest in DrMekon's jersey, and having a bit of a giggle.

Something to do with it advertising a Dutch DIY outfit or something  :D.

Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #119 on: 07 August, 2013, 09:45:13 am »
Ahhh, is *that* DrMekon. From Emmen!
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It has been too many days since I have ridden through the night with a brevet card in my pocket...

Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #120 on: 07 August, 2013, 10:21:26 am »
Many people will have heard (even if not seen) the German tandem couple having one of their many rows. They started with a stand-up million-decibel domestic at registration, and were last heard having a go at each other as they left to return home yesterday. And they didn't let up on the ride itself. The tandem is powered by pure bicker.

Anyway, Bernd learnt yesterday that he is to be a grandfather, so congratulations, Opa Bernd!

They were also seen outside the Wetherspoons in Loughton on Saturday evening, well she was outside, he was inside, but that didn't stop them having a humdinger, we were sat outside absolutely bemused!

Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #121 on: 07 August, 2013, 11:20:39 am »
Did anyone NOT notice the Marmalade sandwich reference in Kirton?

I would take a photos but my phone was stolen at the time.

Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #122 on: 07 August, 2013, 10:23:29 pm »
Many people will have heard (even if not seen) the German tandem couple having one of their many rows. They started with a stand-up million-decibel domestic at registration, and were last heard having a go at each other as they left to return home yesterday. And they didn't let up on the ride itself. The tandem is powered by pure bicker.

Anyway, Bernd learnt yesterday that he is to be a grandfather, so congratulations, Opa Bernd!

They were also seen outside the Wetherspoons in Loughton on Saturday evening, well she was outside, he was inside, but that didn't stop them having a humdinger, we were sat outside absolutely bemused!
She was loud wasn't she? He came to heel very quickly indeed. And all to get into Halfords before it shut. Must have needed some valve caps or summat.
LEL & SR 2013. Audax mojo back 2019!

Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #123 on: 07 August, 2013, 10:48:27 pm »
Many people will have heard (even if not seen) the German tandem couple having one of their many rows. They started with a stand-up million-decibel domestic at registration, and were last heard having a go at each other as they left to return home yesterday. And they didn't let up on the ride itself. The tandem is powered by pure bicker.

Anyway, Bernd learnt yesterday that he is to be a grandfather, so congratulations, Opa Bernd!

They were also seen outside the Wetherspoons in Loughton on Saturday evening, well she was outside, he was inside, but that didn't stop them having a humdinger, we were sat outside absolutely bemused!
She was loud wasn't she? He came to heel very quickly indeed. And all to get into Halfords before it shut. Must have needed some valve caps or summat.

I have a hunch that the German tandem pilot was eternally gratefull for the LEL earplugs...

StevieB

  • I'm an embarrassment to my bicycle!
Re: Nice/funny/strange etc. anecdotes from en route
« Reply #124 on: 08 August, 2013, 11:20:04 am »
She was loud wasn't she? He came to heel very quickly indeed. And all to get into Halfords before it shut. Must have needed some valve caps or summat.
[/quote]

Now I know who you mean - just after 5pm at the Loughton control there was a life-and-death, end-of-the-world crisis all because of bar tape and a panic the local bike shops would be shut. (As you'd expect, Keith was calm and helpful.)

I imagined that once the bar tape had been secured everyting would return to 'normal.'
It may be self-flagellation, but it still hurts