Knuckle it, put your required amount of rice into wide-ish pan, add enough water that it reaches the first knuckle of your index finger if you rest it so the tip of your finger touches the rice. Add salt, bring it to a boil and then you can leave it off the heat or simmer for a few minutes. Forget about it for ten minutes or so, it will have soaked up the water and be ready to fluff up and serve.
In terms of culinary abominations, they were selling 'ready pasta' in the supermarket, as far as I can tell, pre-cooked pasta, for those who can't wait eight or so minutes to cook actual dried pasta. I look forward to 'instant gnocchi, ready in one minute.'