Author Topic: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread  (Read 299005 times)

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3225 on: 23 July, 2022, 06:00:55 pm »
Today I are learning that today is Saturday, not Sunday :facepalm: Though not until I examined the contents of the fridge and saw the makings of two dinners rather than one.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3226 on: 23 July, 2022, 10:30:10 pm »
Try putting your glasses on, you idiot, then you won’t need to spend 10 minutes wondering why a USB-C plug won’t fit in a Micro USB socket.
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

ian

  • why would any decent person have such thoughts?
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3227 on: 23 July, 2022, 10:31:19 pm »
Try putting your glasses on, you idiot, then you won’t need to spend 10 minutes wondering why a USB-C plug won’t fit in a Micro USB socket.

Quit bragging.
Authoritarian Thought Leader, the Pol Pot of Powerpoint, the Stalin of Spreadsheets, the Putin of pandas

Jayjay

  • Layin' back a bit these days.
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3228 on: 24 July, 2022, 08:22:02 am »
I put on a clean Trespass top for my ride to work this morning, stopped off at Mum's as usual. "What you done to your shirt?" she asks. Said garment was oddly puckered on the front. I un-puckered it to find a horrid sticky circle on the fabric, and realised that I had washed it with one of those temporary badge stickers on it  ::-)

Hoorah for Sticky Stuff Remover  :thumbsup:

T42

  • Patron saint of the dry joint
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3229 on: 24 July, 2022, 10:04:17 am »
Getting on bike yesterday, swung my leg over and skinned my knee on the rack I'd forgotten was there.

Ah.

On long events, I often get to the point where I loose the strength and flexibility to lift my leg over the rack and bag, and have some comedy moments.
I increasingly need to tip the bike over towards me to let me get on.

I've seen some riders get on by swinging a leg over the handlebars from the front, but I've not been brave enough to try that.

When I tip the eBrute towards me with a spare battery in the saddlebag the front wheel wants to unstick, whereupon the entire bike tries hard to lie down and leave me holding the handlebars like a prat.

I used to do the leg-over-handlebars swing but I haven't tried it for a few years. Might have another go, in privacy of course.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3230 on: 27 July, 2022, 04:08:52 pm »
Could hear an electronic voice saying "snowberry" every 30 seconds or so, and assumed wife was using voice response on her iPhone. Eventually realised she wasn't, so had to track down the source. Gradually moved from lounge to hall, then into the kitchen  :-\

Turned out to be the smoke/fire alarm announcing "low battery"  :facepalm:


Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3231 on: 29 July, 2022, 11:05:25 am »
Last night the kitchen sink was blocked. Littlest monkey was helping Daddy fix it and reminded her of two stupid mistakes I'd previously made when unblocking sinks

One was emptying the water that had drained out when the trap was removed back into the sink before I'd refitted the trap

The other in a similar vein was washing hands mid job with trap still unfitted

T42

  • Patron saint of the dry joint
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3232 on: 31 July, 2022, 02:34:24 pm »
(a) Was perturbed on setting off on my ride this morning by a pronounced chattering sound emanating from the RD, as if I had suddenly acquired a hedgeful of sparrows.  Found that I had committed the beginner's mistake of routing the chain to the outside of that nasty little tab Shimano have provided just so that you can get it wrong.  First time I've done that in at least 20 years.

(b) tried to post this before writing anything.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Pingu

  • Put away those fiery biscuits!
  • Mrs Pingu's domestique
    • the Igloo
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3233 on: 08 August, 2022, 12:31:50 am »
...One was emptying the water that had drained out when the trap was removed back into the sink before I'd refitted the trap

The other in a similar vein was washing hands mid job with trap still unfitted

This is why the human race is doomed.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3234 on: 08 August, 2022, 09:10:57 am »
Book boat trip for visiting family.

Triumphantly tell them trip is booked.

Response "That is the day we arrive"

Frantically trying to get hold of boat trip company to shift booking.

Idiot
<i>Marmite slave</i>

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3235 on: 09 August, 2022, 06:52:16 am »
Unfortunately having to put the wife in here again

They've gone away on holiday, she decided to take manual toothbrushes so didn't have to worry about charging our leccy ones. The leccy brushes are in the bathroom.....Unfortunately she has packed the charger and taken it with her, and taken my manual toothbrush. Working my way through thr charge in all the brushes here by swapping my head onto them

Cudzoziemiec

  • Моя планета голубая, я люблю тебя и обнимаю
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3236 on: 10 August, 2022, 10:53:06 am »
Popped into town for some needed shopping. Haven't used the utili-touring-adventure bike for a while, but everything seemed to be working. Put the pannier on and down the road I go. Lean the bike against the rack outside the stupormarket, open the pannier and... no lock. Okay, it's only five minutes back home. Or maybe six or seven cos it's uphill home.

Get home, find the lock, and then my neighbour comes past. Somehow we get into conversation about how he's turning his car into a mobile SW radio station. Then back down the hill to the stupormarket and... I have the lock but no keys! Got home and there they were in the front door. You don't have to go the market to be in a stupor but it works for me.
Riding a bike through a city is like navigating the collective neural pathways of a vast global mind.

barakta

  • Bastard lovechild of Yomiko Readman and Johnny 5
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3237 on: 10 August, 2022, 12:08:13 pm »
Unfortunately having to put the wife in here again

They've gone away on holiday, she decided to take manual toothbrushes so didn't have to worry about charging our leccy ones. The leccy brushes are in the bathroom.....Unfortunately she has packed the charger and taken it with her, and taken my manual toothbrush. Working my way through thr charge in all the brushes here by swapping my head onto them

Do you not have a multipack of spare manual toothbrushes kicking around for times of need?

We once had to try and buy a toothbrush at night and despite there being 3 mini supermarket style shops open late round here, NONE had actual toothbrushes of any kind.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3238 on: 10 August, 2022, 12:24:45 pm »
No she took the manual ones

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3239 on: 10 August, 2022, 01:09:58 pm »
I always have a couple of airline amenity toothbrushes hanging around, partly for guests who forget their own
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3240 on: 10 August, 2022, 01:55:36 pm »
Got to the station after work yesterday in time for the 17.32 train. Train arrives at the expected time and says it's going to Margate, so I get on board, then bury my head in the crossword to pass the journey.

It's only when we arrive in Ashford 20 minutes later that I realise I'm on the wrong train...

Yes, it's going to Margate, but it's going the other way round the loop, not via Whitstable. Turns out it was actually a late-running 17.27, not the 17.32.

Net result is I have to get off at Canterbury and get the bus home. The irony being that because the train via Ashford is so much faster, I got home earlier than if I'd got the correct train. Only real down side is that I had to go back out later to rescue my bike from the station. And be reminded why I don't habitually use the bus - teenagers vaping and blaring out tinny music from their phones being the main annoyances.
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

SoreTween

  • Most of me survived the Pennine Bridleway.
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3241 on: Yesterday at 12:36:18 pm »
Got home last week to find the outside lights stuck on.  Easy thinks I, it'll be a dead PIR and I haz spares because they never last.  Replace one - lights still on, can't put the original back as the cover screw had rusted so I had to get in destructively.  Replace 2nd as well - lights still on.  Bum.  Much head scratching & cable testing later I give up & leave the detectors disconnected.

Today I went back & found both had the time setting turned to max instead of min.  Reconnected & all is well.  Cover screws replaced with stainless.
2020 targets: None
There is only one infinite resource in this universe; human stupidity.