Author Topic: a restaurant review I enjoyed  (Read 53433 times)

Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #175 on: 17 October, 2021, 12:31:36 pm »
I quite like the fact that this utter chancer is relieving these rich fools of so much money for such poor food.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #176 on: 17 October, 2021, 01:58:55 pm »
A fool and his money….

I love the fact that Jay can really *enjoy* unpretentious but tasty food, without hang-ups...

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #177 on: 18 October, 2021, 06:49:01 pm »
As he says:
Quote
In my more benevolent moments, I wonder whether Mr Salt Bae isn’t actually having the last laugh. Unlike the billionaire Sultan of Brunei, owner of the most recent restaurant outrage at the Dorchester, he didn’t start a rich man. He came from a poor working-class family. Now he’s rinsing the rich and stupid. It could almost be inspiring.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #178 on: 29 November, 2021, 09:10:09 pm »
Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #179 on: 29 November, 2021, 09:33:13 pm »
That Costa "mac n cheese" looks exactly like something next door's cat leaves in the garden.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #180 on: 02 March, 2022, 02:39:56 pm »
A long, brutal and very amusing review (complete with pictures to convey the full sanity-nomming horror) of what is apparently the worst Michelin-starred restaurant in the world - Bros, in Lecce, Puglia. I'll just quote the intro to set the mood...

Quote
There is something to be said about a truly disastrous meal, a meal forever indelible in your memory because it’s so uniquely bad, it can only be deemed an achievement. The sort of meal where everyone involved was definitely trying to do something; it’s just not entirely clear what.

I’m not talking about a meal that’s poorly cooked, or a server who might be planning your murder—that sort of thing happens in the fat lump of the bell curve of bad. Instead, I’m talking about the long tail stuff – the sort of meals that make you feel as though the fabric of reality is unraveling. The ones that cause you to reassess the fundamentals of capitalism, and whether or not you’re living in a simulation in which someone failed to properly program this particular restaurant. The ones where you just know somebody’s going to lift a metal dome off a tray and reveal a single blue or red pill.

I’m talking about those meals.

https://everywhereist.com/2021/12/bros-restaurant-lecce-we-eat-at-the-worst-michelin-starred-restaurant-ever/

I recommend also reading the comments... ;D
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #181 on: 02 March, 2022, 03:44:33 pm »
A long, brutal and very amusing review (complete with pictures to convey the full sanity-nomming horror) of what is apparently the worst Michelin-starred restaurant in the world - Bros, in Lecce, Puglia. I'll just quote the intro to set the mood...

Wow. That is incredible.

The citrus foam...  :sick:
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

ian

Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #182 on: 02 March, 2022, 05:04:16 pm »
I thought that was terrifyingly ace. I was on tenterhook for anatomically and physiological precise genitalia later in the meal. Disappointed.

It's not my cup of tea, but it reads like they went to an avant-garde restaurant, ordered the 27-item tasting menu, and then complained they didn't get a main course.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #183 on: 02 March, 2022, 05:14:22 pm »
The trip advisor comments seem fairly evenly divided between "This isn't a meal!" and "Amazing!"
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #184 on: 02 March, 2022, 05:54:01 pm »
I thought that was terrifyingly ace. I was on tenterhook for anatomically and physiological precise genitalia later in the meal. Disappointed.

Well, there was only one way the citrus foam course could have been worse:

"... we realised the dish wasn't a cast of the chef's mouth..."  :demon:
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #185 on: 04 March, 2022, 05:05:28 pm »
I thought that was terrifyingly ace. I was on tenterhook for anatomically and physiological precise genitalia later in the meal. Disappointed.

It's not my cup of tea, but it reads like they went to an avant-garde restaurant, ordered the 27-item tasting menu, and then complained they didn't get a main course.
They said there was no menu, that was the only option for food.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

ian

Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #186 on: 04 March, 2022, 05:40:15 pm »
Still, if you go to a poncy restaurant, that's what poncy restaurants do. If you want a kebab and chips, go to Mr Kebab not the Fat Duck. I have always imagined that school careers day was a pretty easy one for Mr Kebab.

It seems strainingly written for clicks, I'm not really sure what they expected. It's not the sort of restaurant that you're wandering by and think, oh let's pop in for dinner. One glance at their web page pretty much removes any surprise. You can even buy that mouth (either Floriano or Isabella, you can choose and have your own fun, and no, no, no, culinary use only – €58 each)

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #187 on: 17 July, 2022, 09:09:15 pm »
Jay Rayner branches out into music criticism  ;)
Quote
It was when they started pumping a soft, lilting chill-out cover of Joy Division’s Love Will Tear Us Apart into the dining room that I really began to lose the will to live. We’d already been subjected to spayed versions of Madonna classics. Now the DJ at Il Borro was subjecting us to an ugly, disfigured cover of the Manchester gloomster’s finest. I wasn’t sure which was worse: the dismal music or the seafood pasta with just one langoustine, one shrimp, three clams and three mussels for £46. Actually, I was sure. The music was very bad. The mean pasta was truly dismal.
https://www.theguardian.com/food/2022/jul/17/jay-rayner-restaurant-review-il-borro-london-the-music-was-bad-the-pasta-dismal
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #188 on: 17 July, 2022, 09:59:34 pm »
Enjoyed reading that earlier. Not the sort of place I could afford anyway, but imagine finding yourself jammed in somewhere along that table in the photo, surrounded by "open-collared men sit staring at their phones, their faces bathed in a blue glow, or barking at each other about the latest top deals from HSBC Global.” Even the best of food would be no compensation.

Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #189 on: 18 July, 2022, 09:04:25 am »
Jay Rayner branches out into music criticism  ;)
Quote
It was when they started pumping a soft, lilting chill-out cover of Joy Division’s Love Will Tear Us Apart into the dining room that I really began to lose the will to live. We’d already been subjected to spayed versions of Madonna classics. Now the DJ at Il Borro was subjecting us to an ugly, disfigured cover of the Manchester gloomster’s finest. I wasn’t sure which was worse: the dismal music or the seafood pasta with just one langoustine, one shrimp, three clams and three mussels for £46. Actually, I was sure. The music was very bad. The mean pasta was truly dismal.
https://www.theguardian.com/food/2022/jul/17/jay-rayner-restaurant-review-il-borro-london-the-music-was-bad-the-pasta-dismal
Well, he IS a musician.

I really enjoyed that review. Not just for the sparky, snarky writing, but for the explicit mentions of (cheaper) places that produce the same food well.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

ian

Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #190 on: 18 July, 2022, 10:01:22 am »
Indeed, I had a lovely peposo in actual Tuscany last week. That restaurant sounds grim, the food doesn't even look that great in the photos.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #191 on: 18 August, 2022, 01:28:51 pm »
Bandwiches.

Quote
It celebrates or, to be more exact, bemoans the grim quality of so much of the food offered to musicians on gigs in UK hospitality settings. Here are numerous shots of terrible, cold mini sausage rolls the colour of yesterday’s porridge. There’s a meagre plate of biscuits alongside some orange juice with a handwritten note saying: “Out of date. Help yourself at your own peril.” There are polystyrene boxes filled with a tiny number of indeterminate deep-fried things. And, of course, lots and lots of terrible, floppy sandwiches made with the pappiest of pappy white bread. It’s all so damn beige. And the portions! So small!

https://www.theguardian.com/food/2022/aug/18/i-play-music-i-get-paid-but-you-should-see-the-bandwiches-gig-economy
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #192 on: 28 August, 2022, 07:10:00 am »
That Costa "mac n cheese" looks exactly like something next door's cat leaves in the garden.

Just seen this, we regularly get given loads of Costa stuff as about to go out of date from a friend who works there. A lot I end up eating as the kids can't face it and I'll eat pretty much anything. The vegan pretend duck rolls are alright, the pretend bacon less so. The mac n cheese is grim. My youngest lkves mac but none of us can eat this

Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #193 on: 09 September, 2022, 11:17:07 pm »
Following on from the House of Tides chat in the Super-Twat thread, it appears that chef-patron Kenny Atkinson has opened another gaff just around the corner. I am really quite tempted to visit Newcastle again.

https://amp.theguardian.com/food/2022/sep/09/solstice-newcastle-upon-tyne-theatre-pacing-exquisite-detail-restaurant-review

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #194 on: 02 December, 2022, 01:19:04 pm »
Local version:
Quote
In a lifetime first for me, the food at Meat Off had me genuinely questioning whether there was in fact a chef, or indeed anyone, in the kitchen.
https://www.bristol247.com/food-and-drink/restaurants/meat-off-park-street-wanted-to-impale-myself-skewer-restaurant-review/
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #195 on: 02 December, 2022, 01:30:39 pm »
Local version:
Quote
In a lifetime first for me, the food at Meat Off had me genuinely questioning whether there was in fact a chef, or indeed anyone, in the kitchen.
https://www.bristol247.com/food-and-drink/restaurants/meat-off-park-street-wanted-to-impale-myself-skewer-restaurant-review/

Those aren't really BBQs in the centre of each table, more like upside-down halogen grills. Never mind the Dettol, the place just looks like it reeks of un-met expectations.
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #196 on: 02 December, 2022, 09:27:25 pm »
Local version:
Quote
In a lifetime first for me, the food at Meat Off had me genuinely questioning whether there was in fact a chef, or indeed anyone, in the kitchen.
https://www.bristol247.com/food-and-drink/restaurants/meat-off-park-street-wanted-to-impale-myself-skewer-restaurant-review/

“Meat Off” is a truly terrible name for a restaurant. That should have been a red flag before they even stepped inside.
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #197 on: 09 June, 2024, 10:42:03 am »
Two crackers this weekend, Grace Dent Saturday, Jay Rayner Sunday.
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #198 on: 09 June, 2024, 12:02:46 pm »
Two crackers this weekend, Grace Dent Saturday, Jay Rayner Sunday.

An extract from Rayner's
Quote
...At the heart of the offering is the “fish market”, an ice-stacked counter full of red mullet, Dover sole and the like, priced by the kilo. There’s a solitary black Canadian lobster, still alive, its limbs twitching as if it’s trying to make a run for it. I know how it feels. You choose your fish and they’ll fry, grill or salt bake it as you wish. The prices force me to call Rex Goldsmith of the renowned Chelsea Fishmonger. He tells me his kilo price for mackerel is £12.50. I tell him at Gaia it’s £100. Rex gasps. “Christ,” he says. “At that price the fish should give you a blowjob.” I am merely the reporter here. A kilo of John Dory retails for £26.50. Here it’s £150. Red mullet is £36. At Gaia it’s £140. And so on...

manyrivers

Re: a restaurant review I enjoyed
« Reply #199 on: 09 June, 2024, 04:21:01 pm »
I know one shouldn't but I do prefer Jay in take-down mode; he's so darned funny, such an acidic and original turn of phrase.. and so darned good at it. I know he'd kinda vowed years back not to do it, because it can destroy a place, and I get it. Respect and kudos to him for that. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss the critical critic in him. Boy can he write when he's pissed off by somewhere! Today was up there with the best.

I thought he may have tuned back into his dark side when he put the boot into the Parisienne pie restaurant a few weeks back. Maybe he's starting to loosen his belt. I do kinda hope so!