Author Topic: Dry January 2023  (Read 13371 times)

Paul

  • L'enfer, c'est les autos.
Re: Dry January 2023
« Reply #75 on: 18 January, 2023, 02:41:56 pm »
Good luck.
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

felstedrider

Re: Dry January 2023
« Reply #76 on: 18 January, 2023, 04:06:19 pm »
And Von Broad - how was the rest of your Friday night?

Bit boring, but fine, thank you.

I popped into the beer shop over the weekend to show my face [and to see others!] and had a couple of alcohol free somethings or others. [That was also 0.5% alcohol.......I think the majority of them are].But I do feel vulnerable in social situations without alcohol. It's a clear demonstration how how I use alcohol to shore up my defences. This I've known for years, but it's kind of interesting to 'feel' it once again. When something's been almost apart of who you are, when it gets removed it's going to make you feel slightly odd. To say the least.

I've also befriended a customer of mine, a slightly older lady, a widow and mother of three, who gave up alcohol at the age of....17!!! [She had a kind of odd and wild childhood.....as she describes it!! Shes was encouraged by her mother at the age of 12 to drink...and smoke! 1960's innit...rock on baby!! ] She stopped at 17 because alcohol just made her unbearably sad and melancholic. Quite a decision for a 17yr old though.
This is the first time I've ever reached out to a person for company who doesn't drink, and I feel a friendship developing here, which I think will be a good thing.
There is a part of me that forever wonders, how do people get through life without alcohol? What on earth do they do? Where do they go? As she commented, it just goes to show you how ingrained my drinking is with the way I'm perceiving the world.
Some of what you say resonates with me, especially dealing with social situations. I think a lot of people would say that I am fairly extroverted, but I do find social situations quite hard work, and alcohol definitely helps with that, so going into those situations sober is a bit of a challenge. I'm better than I used to be - I think age/experience helps.
I like the sound of your dry new friend. Hope it pans out but - even if it doesn't - it demonstrates a possibility.

Socialising was one of the things that became hard for me.   I worked on a trading floor in my late 20s and early 30s and it led to a pretty slippery slope as we went straight from the office to the pub.   I thought when I left that firm that the behaviour would resolve itself but I just carried on    After some quite hard work, I've been dry for 14 years.

I am happy with socials that involve a meal or an activity (quizzes, etc).   When you have to stand around watching people get gradually more pissed it's hard work.   Pissed people are not as interesting as they would like to think they are.   I have either avoided Christmas dos either completely or sloped off part way through.   This years was quite good as we had the kids in and office games and I quite enjoyed it.   0% beers (I won't do the 0.5% ones) have been a game changer for me.

Re: Dry January 2023
« Reply #77 on: 18 January, 2023, 07:47:26 pm »
After some quite hard work, I've been dry for 14 years.

The thread title may only concern itself with Dry January 2023, but it's interesting to hear of people's journey through a much longer time frame, and can only be encouraging for those even if they are only looking to do January alone.
On the subject of 0.5% and 0% beers, the market is forever expanding from what I can see, so many more alcohol-free drinks are coming on stream these days. And they're getting better and better.....[meaning, actually drinkable :-)]

Pissed people are not as interesting as they would like to think they are.

Think I know somebody who resembles that description!
Garry Broad

felstedrider

Re: Dry January 2023
« Reply #78 on: 18 January, 2023, 08:21:37 pm »
After some quite hard work, I've been dry for 14 years.

The thread title may only concern itself with Dry January 2023, but it's interesting to hear of people's journey through a much longer time frame, and can only be encouraging for those even if they are only looking to do January alone.
On the subject of 0.5% and 0% beers, the market is forever expanding from what I can see, so many more alcohol-free drinks are coming on stream these days. And they're getting better and better.....[meaning, actually drinkable :-)]

Pissed people are not as interesting as they would like to think they are.

Think I know somebody who resembles that description!

I’m a fan of St Peter’s Without and Doom Bar Zero.  Leffe Blonde Zero is quite good and I had Affligem Zero on a recent trip to Amsterdam.

You and I (and a few others) spent an evening drinking in Dieppe after the 2007 PBP.   I gave up at the end of 2008.  (The 2 things aren’t linked)


Rob

FifeingEejit

  • Not Small
Re: Dry January 2023
« Reply #79 on: 18 January, 2023, 10:52:51 pm »
How's everyone?
How did Friday go, L CC?
chrisb - how's your lurgy?
Basil? Did you stick to one?
And Von Broad - how was the rest of your Friday night?

I went to the Holly Bush Inn with a friend who drank wine while I had 2 pints of this which, I now see is, annoyingly, not alcohol free as I asked for, but pretty low alcohol (0.5%) - certainly too low to register on the Try Dry app. Oh well, I thought I was alcohol free.
I was expecting a hard time of it, but I had screwed my courage to the sticking place in advance, which helped. As did being the driver.
I found that conversation wasn't quite as easy as when I am having a drink, but I could remember more of it, and it was a good evening.

I'm sure I'll see it through, now, but less sure about staying dry after 31 Jan.
0.5% Alcohol by volume is the same as the upper limit for soft drinks.

I drink that stuff when I don't want Fizzy juice and breach my not drinking sugar when not exercising rule.
 
Its partly down to UK labelling rules
https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/news/what-s-the-difference-between-low-alcohol-and-alcohol-free-drinks



Saying No and occasionally Fuck Off, has never been difficult for me so becoming a non drinker was fairly easy a step, the 3/4 times I lapsed were because I made the mistake of believing I could behave and have a couple.

I think the last time I had alcohol was when a mate brought the wrong kind of Radler over from the Netherlands. Which must have been 2017ish.

One thing I worked out early like when I did drink but ocasiinaly designated drivered) was that in a nightclub no one knows what you're on and no one cares you can't take a drink on the dance floor in most any way, things like the hacienda supposedly barely taking much at the bar when the drugs pushers got in.

Anither trick early on is to make excuses, ah naw I'm driving/got to drive in the morning.

Some who wouldn't take the hint got told to fuck off permanently of course but they tended to be cunts when drunk anyway, funny how that lines up...

Sent from my IV2201 using Tapatalk

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: Dry January 2023
« Reply #80 on: 19 January, 2023, 07:43:07 am »
I'm still going strong - although to be fair, it helps that I've not really had many opportunities. There is still that bottle of gin in the cupboard begging to be opened but I don't often feel much like drinking gin anyway. Beer is what I find hardest to resist.

Tuesday is the day when the whole team is in the office, and a couple of my colleagues regularly go for a few pints after work - including the boss, who could drink for England. He tried to coax me along last Tuesday and gave me a bit of a ribbing when I mentioned Dry January but fortunately no pressure to cave in, for which I'm grateful. My colleagues are a decent bunch, fortunately, and both sensitive and supportive.
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Re: Dry January 2023
« Reply #81 on: 19 January, 2023, 08:19:56 am »
Been tempted a couple of times.  I like a nice whiskey when my wife is out and I settle down with a book or the TV.  So I have done a bit more exercise.  I will drink again but I see this as a small change which I can make and prove I can do.

Re: Dry January 2023
« Reply #82 on: 19 January, 2023, 08:59:48 am »
My colleagues are a decent bunch, fortunately, and both sensitive and supportive.
My workplace is full of unreconstructed Geordie Blokes. It's all NUFC (I had typed football but it's 95% Newcastle United) drinking and gambling. My boss annually bets on Miss World. They'd run a sweep on raindrops down a pane if they could.
When we discuss what we're up to at the weekend I've been asked more than once
Quote
Clayton, do you never just go out and get fucked up?
... No, no I don't.

Re: Dry January 2023
« Reply #83 on: 19 January, 2023, 06:56:20 pm »
My colleagues are a decent bunch, fortunately, and both sensitive and supportive.
My workplace is full of unreconstructed Geordie Blokes. It's all NUFC (I had typed football but it's 95% Newcastle United) drinking and gambling. My boss annually bets on Miss World. They'd run a sweep on raindrops down a pane if they could.
When we discuss what we're up to at the weekend I've been asked more than once
Quote
Clayton, do you never just go out and get fucked up?
... No, no I don't.

LOL!!! Classic.  :D
Looks like you've found you're place in the world there Lindsay Clayton.
I can think of numerous answers in response to the question you have been asked more than once. Most of them would probably involve you either being sent to Coventry or walking away with a P60. Something along the lines of, "what? and end up like you fucking idiots" springs to mind. You could always ask if they have a yearning to stand of the shoulders of giants?.......like Gazza [now there's a sobering reality of a person sauced up for years].
What is not a good idea is to paint a picture of a man who sits endlessly for hours on a turbo trainer as alternative entertainment.
It's a bit of a hard sell to be honest!  :)
Anyway....you made me laugh.
Garry Broad

Re: Dry January 2023
« Reply #84 on: 19 January, 2023, 07:42:47 pm »
back on track.....

had some mild cravings today. working near the beer shops, finishing early around 4pm......see how the mind starts delivering those 'so what, just a couple, it doesn't matter, who cares, you only live once'....and those coupled with that feeling of a dry mouth, for which only a beer after work can only quench........ummmm........beer!

...but I came home.

after buying one of these
lovely.
And yes, I do very much believe in substitute addictions. it can be a very real thing for people.
Garry Broad

John Stonebridge

  • Has never ridden Ower the Edge
Re: Dry January 2023
« Reply #85 on: 20 January, 2023, 09:48:13 am »
I had a drink - as planned - last night.  Several beers at a pre wedding soiree with family and friends ahead of my daughters wedding on Saturday. 

having laid off the bevvy, cut out snacks and continued my regular lunchtime gym visits since 1 Jan I was pleased and surprised to have gone from 13st 10lb in between xmas & NY to 12st 12lb yesterday.



Paul

  • L'enfer, c'est les autos.
Re: Dry January 2023
« Reply #86 on: 20 January, 2023, 10:27:59 am »
Interesting stories, lots of different challenges.

I'm strangely okay at the moment. I was at a friend's house on Wednesday night for tea and games (this one - it's great fun if you like words & language. They drank wine, I had soft drinks. The wine smelled (from several feet away!) delicious but I wasn't tempted; neither by my own desire/addiction, nor by my friends, which was nice.

I'm feeling a bit better. It's tricky to tell accurately, because I'm still experiencing symptoms of the infection I picked up at Christmas (fatigue, coughing), but I know that everything is working a bit better.

...but I came home.

after buying one of these
lovely.
And yes, I do very much believe in substitute addictions. it can be a very real thing for people.
Maybe you should start socialising in cake shops/cafes? Find a like-minded group and buy rounds of cake?

Waitaminnit - am I describing cyclists?
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: Dry January 2023
« Reply #87 on: 20 January, 2023, 12:26:25 pm »
Maybe you should start socialising in cake shops/cafes? Find a like-minded group and buy rounds of cake?

That's as bad for you as smoking, apparently.

It's a fair point though - finding different ways to socialise is a good approach. The problem is that spending more time sober with your friends is going to be a good way to find out that you actually hate them.  ;)
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Re: Dry January 2023
« Reply #88 on: 01 February, 2023, 08:23:01 am »
So, here we are, Feb 1st.
Did everybody make it?
Where to now?

For me, I'm doing one day at a time, but I'm very attracted to the idea of doing a year, for no other reason than a general curiosity as it how it might impact my health, and specially to sleep. The longest I've ever gone without alcohol is three months, and they were deliberate periods of abstinence, with a beginning and an end,a s is dry January. Let's face it.....look how quickly time passes, a year is nothing.

On the subject of curiosity, I've attended three AA meetings over the last couple of weeks, which has been, err....interesting, shall we say. I have to say I was very, very nervous the first time I stepped through the door. AA has it's detractors, but it's important to remember that it's more of a support network rather than a tailored treatment program, and considering the whole organization was the result of two American guys sitting down chatting to each other and offering mutual support to stop drinking alcohol, you have to see it for what it is, rather than what it isn't. There are a few aspects of it, that I have serious issue with. I'll leave those aside for the moment. But.....it costs you nothing, there are meetings all over the place, and one is surrounded by people that are simply looking to improve their lives. I'm very resistant, suspicious and skeptical to a lot of life, far more than has been good for me, and I know from experience it's never a good idea to accept everything at face value, but sometimes a bit more of a relaxed attitude might reveal the more positive aspects of something that might be on offer.

So, we'll see how it goes.

Well done to all who made it through.
At the very least, it's a good thing to give your system a break every now and then.
Garry Broad

felstedrider

Re: Dry January 2023
« Reply #89 on: 01 February, 2023, 08:40:45 am »
I meet up with an old colleague every now and again.   The last time he asked me how I had gone about giving up as he had had some issues and it was starting to effect his home life.   I walked him through a few things and now he messages me quite regularly.   First time I've ever felt like I have helped someone out.

We both found ourselves at an industry conference in Amsterdam a few months ago and it was useful to have an ally to drink 0% beer with.   It was there I discovered Affligem Zero over a dinner on expenses.

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: Dry January 2023
« Reply #90 on: 01 February, 2023, 10:39:23 am »
So, here we are, Feb 1st.
Did everybody make it?
Where to now?

We had our team social after work last night. I was only intending to stay for a couple but missed my train so ended up staying for a couple more... Feeling surprisingly OK today though.

That was always planned as the official ending of Dry January for me, since it's been in the calendar a few weeks, but I also have to confess to a few other minor lapses along the way.

As for where to now, I intend to make not drinking the normal habit. We'll see how I get on with that. I might aim for dry weeks - that's a manageable chunk to do at a time and likely to fit in with my social calendar.

"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

PaulF

  • "World's Scariest Barman"
  • It's only impossible if you stop to think about it
Re: Dry January 2023
« Reply #91 on: 01 February, 2023, 10:43:51 am »
Technically I have a day to go as I only started on the 2nd but will probably continue longer anyway

Paul

  • L'enfer, c'est les autos.
Re: Dry January 2023
« Reply #92 on: 01 February, 2023, 02:50:20 pm »
I blew it on 29 January. I was given a bottle of wine on 21 Jan (in anticipation of my birthday) which I opened on 29th (my birthday is 30th).

I know my Achilles heel is availability (although that doesn't apply to champagne, which can sit happily for the right time), so I'm going to ask people to stop giving me wine.

I think I'm not saying categorically that I won't drink again, but I am saying that not drinking will be my norm.

... On the subject of curiosity, I've attended three AA meetings over the last couple of weeks, which has been, err....interesting, shall we say. I have to say I was very, very nervous the first time I stepped through the door. AA has it's detractors, but it's important to remember that it's more of a support network rather than a tailored treatment program, and considering the whole organization was the result of two American guys sitting down chatting to each other and offering mutual support to stop drinking alcohol, you have to see it for what it is, rather than what it isn't. There are a few aspects of it, that I have serious issue with. I'll leave those aside for the moment. But.....it costs you nothing, there are meetings all over the place, and one is surrounded by people that are simply looking to improve their lives. I'm very resistant, suspicious and skeptical to a lot of life, far more than has been good for me, and I know from experience it's never a good idea to accept everything at face value, but sometimes a bit more of a relaxed attitude might reveal the more positive aspects of something that might be on offer.
...
I have just looked this up. The 12 steps are quite religious. I didn't know that before.
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

Re: Dry January 2023
« Reply #93 on: 03 February, 2023, 05:07:31 pm »
Mr Smith and I are both still at it.
I was sorely tempted to celebrate my return home with a large Baileys but resisted. We're both rattling with painkillers and apparently alcohol slows bone healing. I'm certain it would make my mobility worse and it's already a struggle to get to the loo in good time.
I'm dry till at least 22nd March, as that's when I have my post-op review.
We've had the recovering alcoholic No1SmithSon looking after us for the last week. I believe Father and Son talked about their relationships with alcohol in the evenings after I'd gone to bed.


ETA my understanding WRT 12 steps was that even if not 'religious' you had to submit to a 'Higher Power'. I would find that nigh on impossible.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Dry January 2023
« Reply #94 on: 03 February, 2023, 06:37:00 pm »
I had a taste of D's berry cider on Monday but stuck to Appletiser for myself.

Wheelchair bog at The Orchard was 'Out of Order' and sign advised using other facilities.
These were architecturally wheelchair-proof.
Used coin to open wheelchair bog's door.
I don't know what I could have done on a cold night, miles from home. Loo was OK but tap was broken.

Regulator

  • That's Councillor Regulator to you...
Re: Dry January 2023
« Reply #95 on: 04 February, 2023, 07:47:45 am »
I managed to complete Dry January.  :thumbsup:

I shall have a few sherbets before starting Dry Lent.
Quote from: clarion
I completely agree with Reg.

Green Party Councillor

Re: Dry January 2023
« Reply #96 on: 30 January, 2024, 09:44:37 pm »
For me, I'm doing one day at a time, but I'm very attracted to the idea of doing a year

I've written and deleted three long and rather rambling follow-ups to this....but I still feel compelled to put 2023 to bed, so I will, as briefly as poss.

I did a year in the end...well almost....from Jan 1st to Dec 25th - without doubt the longest ever time since I was 16.
I couldn't have done it without zero-Guinness and zero-Heineken though [and I really don't like lager]. Both proved to be life rafts.

I went along to AA during most of that time, and although I didn't need to go as such, I went basically for something to do, to be in in an environment of sobriety and as social compensation from turning my back on friendly sociable gatherings! I can't say I agree with some of what AA stands for [I'll leave that alone for now], but I must say I was left with a strong sense of admiration and empathy for people who really do find themselves in some pretty dark and despairing holes. I tend of learn towards the idea that there's often a kind of 'covering -up' with addictive behaviours [speaking for myself certainly] but some of the compulsions people grapple with are really mind-blowing and turn out to very difficult to over come. Stories of relapse are not uncommon, but the support people get from being part of a collective like that is profound and plain to see. I don't regret going at all. People are brave.

I was always going to drink again......I wanted to not stop for good, but take a big step back....but I've been somewhat surprised by my lack of enthusiasm to get back to the pumps with the same kind of passion as was in evidence before I stopped.....and I'd consider myself to be a bit of a boozer. Going a few weeks is one thing [and always a good thing for anybody wanting a break], but a year has put a tangible dent in my drinking history in a way I wasn't expecting. Things feel different somehow. A sense of detachment has forced a kind of reflection and clarity of the reasons behind all that has come to pass and how various addictive traits have all played a role [which I had a good idea of anyway]. So.....I'll see how it goes. If I can remain moderate then that's ok, but if it all starts to get a bit druggy again, in the sense of drinking with a kind of low-level regularity, resulting in a pervasive dumbing-down of mood and sensation.. ....then I'll stop again. Age speaks louder and louder these days too. I'm not going to force the issue one way or the other though.

Good luck to anybody looking to put themselves in a better place.
Garry Broad