Author Topic: Random advert nonsense phrases  (Read 4368 times)

Pedaldog.

  • Coince ma propre tete.
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Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #25 on: 02 March, 2022, 03:41:11 pm »
"Pan Fried" ? 

As opposed to "Crotch Pot Cooking" or "Kitchen drawer fried", frying, in my book, means put Stuff in a PAN, add greasing agent of choice, add heat.. Etc.
What do they think we're going to fry stuff in?
You touch my Coffee and I'll slap you so hard, even Google won't be able to find you!

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #26 on: 02 March, 2022, 05:54:05 pm »
"Pan Fried" ? 

As opposed to "Crotch Pot Cooking" or "Kitchen drawer fried", frying, in my book, means put Stuff in a PAN, add greasing agent of choice, add heat.. Etc.
What do they think we're going to fry stuff in?

Pan-fried = shallow-fried, as opposed to deep-fried

Healthier, innit  ::-)
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Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
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Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #27 on: 02 March, 2022, 06:35:03 pm »
Yebbut, in days of yore what did you deep-fry Stuffs in?  A chip pan  ;)
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Giraffe

  • I brake for Giraffes
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #28 on: 03 March, 2022, 12:06:24 pm »
"up to 100% flake-free" ed'n'shoulder. No, it's either 0% flakes or 100% not flake-free.
2x4: thick plank; 4x4: 2 of 'em.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Моя планета голубая, я люблю тебя и обнимаю
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #29 on: 04 March, 2022, 11:03:16 am »
"Three signs you could be stresslaxing"

"Why own it? When you could lown it"
Riding a bike through a city is like navigating the collective neural pathways of a vast global mind.

rower40

  • Not my boat. Now sold.
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #30 on: 04 March, 2022, 11:21:28 am »
"Does exactly what it says on the tin".
Well Durr.   If it didn't, we'd be continually being visited by those nice Trades Descriptions people.
Be Naughty; save Santa a trip

Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #31 on: 04 March, 2022, 11:39:29 am »
'Designer' as applied to any over-priced piece of tat, as if all those cheaper goods magiced themselves into their final form.
Rust never sleeps

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #32 on: 04 March, 2022, 11:40:16 am »
"up to 100% flake-free" ed'n'shoulder. No, it's either 0% flakes or 100% not flake-free.

I think this is merely a specific example of "up to" - the catch-all phrase that does a lot of heavy lifting whenever numerical claims about a product's performance are mentioned.

The ASA, in their infinite wisdom, have decided that people are so used to "up to" meaning "we got this to happen once in a particularly favourable set of test conditions", that ISPs are now forbidden from using the phrase to describe the upper performance limit of a given broadband technology.  In effect, mandating that advertised broadband speeds are basically nonsense in order to bring them in line with claims made about the efficacy of washing powder.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #33 on: 04 March, 2022, 07:20:49 pm »
"twice as small as" or other variants of

No, No, No,

what you mean is half the size of
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
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Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #34 on: 04 March, 2022, 10:17:39 pm »
'Limited edition'

Oh just Fuck off.
Admission.  I'm actually not that fussed about cake.

Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #35 on: 04 March, 2022, 10:25:31 pm »
Cinch.
That is all.


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Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #36 on: 04 March, 2022, 10:30:20 pm »
"Preorder":

Why not say "order"....

Tim Hall

  • Victoria is my queen
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #37 on: 04 March, 2022, 11:35:50 pm »
"Preorder":

Why not say "order"....
This. An thousand times this.
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Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #38 on: 05 March, 2022, 01:07:28 am »
"Preorder":

Why not say "order"....
This. An thousand times this.

Pre-order is a worthwhile coinage, I think, to reference ordering something which is not yet available. Ordering is requesting something which is in stock and will be dispatched immediately, and pre-ordering is requesting something which isn't and therefore won't.

Different situations, so it's worth having different phrases.

Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #39 on: 05 March, 2022, 01:17:48 am »
"up to 100% flake-free" ed'n'shoulder. No, it's either 0% flakes or 100% not flake-free.

I think this is merely a specific example of "up to" - the catch-all phrase that does a lot of heavy lifting whenever numerical claims about a product's performance are mentioned.

The ASA, in their infinite wisdom, have decided that people are so used to "up to" meaning "we got this to happen once in a particularly favourable set of test conditions", that ISPs are now forbidden from using the phrase to describe the upper performance limit of a given broadband technology.  In effect, mandating that advertised broadband speeds are basically nonsense in order to bring them in line with claims made about the efficacy of washing powder.

But if there is a single flake, it's not flake free. "Up to" is redundant here, as it's referring to the presence of a non-enumerated substance. If flakes are there in any number, its 0% flake free. If they're not, it's 100% flake free. Those are the only options. Success or failure. There is no possibility of anything in between, no spectrum of up-to.

Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #40 on: 05 March, 2022, 01:31:15 am »
Deliberate misuses of parts of speech. It's not possible to "Believe in Better", because "better" isn't a thing. It's a qualification of a thing.

And yes, I get it. I do. I really do. I've a degree in Linguistics & English, and I'm a copywriter for crying out loud, I've written all manner of marketing nonsense. So I absolutely get it.

But it just reeks of "Aren't we clever?! We've subverted a language norm to do something striking, go us!" It's very pleased with itself, as a form, and it's spawned loads of other variations on the same wanky theme.

TheLurker

  • Goes well with magnolia.
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #41 on: 05 March, 2022, 07:36:13 am »
"Preorder":

Why not say "order"....
This. An thousand times this.

Pre-order is a worthwhile coinage, I think, to reference ordering something which is not yet available. Ordering is requesting something which is in stock and will be dispatched immediately, and pre-ordering is requesting something which isn't and therefore won't.

Different situations, so it's worth having different phrases.
No.  No.  No. _No_.

I am placing an order. I don't care whether or not you have it in stock.  If you cannot supply it you will tell me and the order will not be placed.  When you have it in stock it will be delivered.  If your supplier fails to deliver you will tell me and I can either leave my *order* with you for later fulfillment or cancel it as I choose.  It remains an *order*.

The very nature of an order implies some delay in the supply of the goods whether you bought the items via (electronic) mail order and have to wait for the postie or you walked into a shop and it wasn't on the shelf.   

"Pre-order" is *not* a useful coinage it is just more pointless fucking verbal wankery cooked up by people who are too lazy to think about the meaning of an existing word and who also think using long words is more impressive than using short simple words that express an idea perfectly well already.   Yes. "pre-order" *does* piss me off.   It sounds like the crappy, barely meaningful, variable names that I encounter in code where the programmer hasn't spent more than a picosecond thinking about the problem.  It doesn't even sound good.
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Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #42 on: 05 March, 2022, 08:44:47 am »
Excursions/day trips being referred to as 'Cultural Enrichment'.
Get a bicycle. You will never regret it, if you live- Mark Twain

Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #43 on: 05 March, 2022, 09:13:31 am »
Up to half price

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #44 on: 05 March, 2022, 09:18:22 am »
Does that mean less than half price or more than half price? ???
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #45 on: 05 March, 2022, 09:29:13 am »
It doesn't even sound good.

Both pre-order and back-order are nonsense in themselves. Pre-order sounds like a list you make of things you might want, before you put in an actual order. Back-order makes no sense (order something to be delivered in the past?).

But they're both handy shorthand for the much longer "Get on the waiting list for something that may not even have been manufactured yet" and "Order something knowing it's currently out of stock, so that you don't need keep asking if it's back in stock".
Quote from: tiermat
that's not science, it's semantics.

Giraffe

  • I brake for Giraffes
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #46 on: 05 March, 2022, 10:02:23 am »
Better than half price.
For whom? Depends on the point of view.

-25% discount.
That is, arithmetically, an increase.

...on selected items.
OK, I've selected this item, why can't I have the discount?
2x4: thick plank; 4x4: 2 of 'em.

Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #47 on: 05 March, 2022, 10:05:16 am »
There is a valid use for pre-order; books.

You can buy a book ahead of the publishing date. It can't be delivered until the publishing date, so you are pre-ordering it.
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TheLurker

  • Goes well with magnolia.
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #48 on: 05 March, 2022, 10:30:22 am »
No.

"I am placing an order. I don't care whether or not you have it in stock..."

If the reason the item is not in stock is because it has yet to be manufactured it does not alter the fact that I have placed an order. If you want to distinguish between the two cases (why? it's immaterial to me why the item cannot be supplied immediately - I will be notified and the item supplied when it is) then we have the perfectly good word, "reserve" which used to be used. As in, "reserve a copy".  Pre-order is a vile little wart that we do not need.
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ian

  • why would any decent person have such thoughts?
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #49 on: 05 March, 2022, 11:18:16 am »
Pre-order and back-order make perfect sense to regular humans who aren't infected by the dread virus of pedantry. You pre-order something that has yet to become available, back-order something that's is going to be restocked.
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