I was cycling down Shaggy Calf Lane in Slough one evening lately.
First, I heard a red van beep behind me. At the traffic lights I asked why. The driver said, "No, that was not for you. It was for the pretty girl on the pavement."
A minute later, I heard another beep behind me. This time it was a blue van. At the next traffic lights the driver left me with, "Use the cycle path, and if you're such an enthusiast, get a fucking helmet".
Bah. The nice beep was not for me. The bad one certainly was.