Confidence building in children

[hairyhippy]

One of the HHlets lacks confidence. He won't try many things in case he falls off (bikes), doesn't like the taste (new foods) etc. I feel for him because he's missing out on quite a lot of stuff.

Any ideas on how to build up his confidence?

[Sir Tifiable]

Age?

[hairyhippy]

6

[Butterfly]

All the obvious things: encouragment, re-inforcement, bribery (ice cream anyone ), hand holding. Some children are cautious, which is a good survival trait . Some children are dare-devils and throw themselves into (and off of) everything. It will probably improve with age.

With food things, put them on the plate every time and don't worry if they are left, veg and such can be chopped in a processor then hidden in mince or soups, so that the taste becomes familiar without scary shapes.

Encourage independant play with friends, they'll often follow friends where they wouldn't follow siblings.

Some things are worth pushing; some not. Pick your fights. If you want them to ride the bike for example, promise a trip to an ice cream shop or other favourite place when they've done it. If you want them to try a maths problem without disolving into tears because "I can't DO it", sit down with them and go through it calmly and encouragingly until they CAN do it, with lots of praise and a reward at the end.

Try to be as relaxed about it all as possible and good luck .

[Dave5N]

My son refused to learn to ride a bike wouldn't have it. I bribed him.

With Mousetrap. Y'know, the board game. It's only been out the box twice in the past four years and he's a better bike rider than I'll ever be or ever was.

Sometimes you need a big carrot to get over a big hurdle.

[mrcharly-YHT]

He's 6 - I wouldn't worry about it much until post 9, at least. Children don't really develop a sense of being a detached individual until roughly 9 (some a little earlier, some later). You'll know when it starts to change; there will be a period of reverting to more childlike behaviour, great upset at separation from either parent.
Once that's over, he'll be more self-aware, and more vulnerable. That's the time to help with self-esteem and confidence.

Don't over-praise - my ex did this with my son and the consequences are not good. He lacks any feeling that he ever has to practise or work at anything in order to get good at it.

[LittleWheelsandBig]

He's 6

He is 8 now.  Old thread.