Author Topic: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive  (Read 5244 times)

Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« on: November 24, 2017, 12:50:20 pm »
Okay, we've all recieved naff Christmas Jumpers, box sets of Smellies we'll never use or Books we'll never read, but as an timely and amusing thread, let have a few ideas for thing you most definately not want to find under the Christmas Trees.

Obviously this is a cycling forun, but as as long as it's not too far off topics, let's have them.

My starter for ten.  http://www.bloondesign.com/springtime/02



Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #1 on: November 24, 2017, 01:07:01 pm »
Oh, I don't know - I thought she looked nice.

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #2 on: November 24, 2017, 01:36:05 pm »
No more bicycle themed tat please.  Just because it's got a bicycle on it doesn't make it not tat. 
A pair of cuff links with little bicycles on.  Wtf?  A tie clip with a bicycle on.  Wtf would I use that for?
Bicycle calendars, bicycle note books, nasty aftershave with a bicycle on the label, etc.
And for dog's sake, no more bloody socks with bicycles on them.  I've already got a drawer full.

People get very pleased with themselves with their 'personalised gifts'.  I think it just shows that they don't know me at all.  They think of me and all they see is 'bicycle'.
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #3 on: November 24, 2017, 02:01:11 pm »
Cut flowers.
I have little available horizontal surface, cannot fill and carry a vase and probably won't be able to walk to wherever the vase has been placed to see and appreciate them.
In less than a fortnight, my friend's generous gesture will have become a stinky mulch of decaying vegetable matter.
I like flowers elsewhere, just NIMBR!1

Yours ungratefully...

1) Not In My Back Room

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #4 on: November 24, 2017, 02:03:27 pm »
No more bicycle themed tat please.  Just because it's got a bicycle on it doesn't make it not tat.
[...]

This!
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Karla

  • car(e) free
    • Lost Byway - around the world by bike
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #5 on: November 24, 2017, 02:25:42 pm »
Fed up with bicycle-themed tat?  Dr Hutch feels your pain

Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #6 on: November 24, 2017, 02:30:00 pm »
Fed up with bicycle-themed tat?  Dr Hutch feels your pain
I thought this was quite ingenious
Quote
‘bicycle-shaped’ biscuits that were perfectly obviously Mickey Mouse shaped biscuits handed over upside-down by a 10-year-old who was openly laughing at you over this ‘deception’, and who then ate them for you.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #7 on: November 24, 2017, 02:40:36 pm »
Christmas is fun, but most presents are one I don't want to receive. Except edibles.
sideways bounding monkey lounging under fruit tree

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #8 on: November 24, 2017, 03:26:31 pm »
Fed up with bicycle-themed tat?  Dr Hutch feels your pain



Not only does that one demonstrate all the understanding of bike frame engineering of a council line-painter, but it's an ergonomic failure as well.
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #9 on: November 24, 2017, 03:32:18 pm »
Oh my! That should be nominated for some sort of award ....

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #10 on: November 24, 2017, 03:58:33 pm »
Fed up with bicycle-themed tat?  Dr Hutch feels your pain
Gosh.  Spot on.
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #11 on: November 24, 2017, 04:42:20 pm »
Clothes.  I choose my own clothes.

And live music tickets.  Let's be honest, most bands aren't very good live, it's too loud* so I have to wear earplugs in order to hear anything but crackling and ringing, and I have the sort of hearing which doesn't really separate sounds so I will just nod at you all evening because I haven't a clue what you're saying over the din.  Just buy me the CD so I can rip it.

*my hearing is relatively undamaged compared to most people's of my age
Never tell me the odds.

Karla

  • car(e) free
    • Lost Byway - around the world by bike
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #12 on: November 24, 2017, 04:44:04 pm »
Fed up with bicycle-themed tat?  Dr Hutch feels your pain



Not only does that one demonstrate all the understanding of bike frame engineering of a council line-painter, but it's an ergonomic failure as well.

I see you're dressing thematically for black Friday there.

Feanor

  • It's mostly downhill from here.
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #13 on: November 24, 2017, 05:36:26 pm »
This, dear readers, is a Pizza Wheel.
It is, however, so flimsy that it would break when faced with even the flimsiest of pizza.


Pizza wheel by Ron Lowe, on Flickr

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #14 on: November 24, 2017, 05:41:08 pm »
Do we need to relocate to The Gallery for a YACFers looking annoyed with cycling-themed tat thread?



I see you're dressing thematically for black Friday there.

I usually do.
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Feanor

  • It's mostly downhill from here.
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #15 on: November 24, 2017, 05:59:47 pm »
Yea, probably.
But here's another horror before we do...


Tie by Ron Lowe, on Flickr

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #16 on: November 24, 2017, 06:31:10 pm »
This, dear readers, is a Pizza Wheel.
It is, however, so flimsy that it would break when faced with even the flimsiest of pizza.


Pizza wheel by Ron Lowe, on Flickr

Thread winner!

Karla

  • car(e) free
    • Lost Byway - around the world by bike
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #17 on: November 24, 2017, 06:55:10 pm »
I've got one of those too!  I can confirm it is as useful as a one-wheeled Chopper with a puncture. 

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #18 on: November 24, 2017, 06:56:12 pm »
I am loving this thread.  Several of us have now realised that we are not alone.
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #19 on: November 24, 2017, 07:03:13 pm »
Yea, probably.
But here's another horror before we do...


Tie by Ron Lowe, on Flickr

Yep, I've got one of those that someone bought for me one year though mine is CTC.

robgul

  • HoECC & Cycle:End-to-End webmaster, S Warwickshire Bike Shop in Wellesbourne
  • . . cyclist, Cytech accredited, manages an LBS
    • Cycle:End-to-End
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #20 on: November 24, 2017, 08:23:11 pm »
Fed up with bicycle-themed tat?  Dr Hutch feels your pain



Not only does that one demonstrate all the understanding of bike frame engineering of a council line-painter, but it's an ergonomic failure as well.

I see you're dressing thematically for black Friday there.

Nah, I've seen Kim probably 4 or 5 times and she's always been dressed in black .... black's the new hi-viz for cyclists!

Rob

Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #21 on: November 24, 2017, 08:33:37 pm »
Visigoth?
Never tell me the odds.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #22 on: November 24, 2017, 10:05:29 pm »
Christmas is fun, but most presents are one I don't want to receive. Except edibles.

+1,

much as I like Christmas, I can generally buy stuff that I want when I want it, and people buying me other stuff for Christmas generally fails to tick the "stuff that I want" box
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #23 on: November 24, 2017, 10:12:33 pm »
Christmas is fun, but most presents are one I don't want to receive. Except edibles.

+1,

much as I like Christmas, I can generally buy stuff that I want when I want it, and people buying me other stuff for Christmas generally fails to tick the "stuff that I want" box

+1

CrinklyLion

  • The one with devious, cake-pushing ways....
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #24 on: November 25, 2017, 12:06:30 am »
I have one of those pizza wheels too, somewhere in the TPoCs.

There's also a nasty led fake candle and a pair of sooper-dooper extra toasty warm (and remarkably ugly) socks. For me, once christened "the human torch" because of my tendency to do things like riding over the moors to Whitby in October, wearing 3/4s and my vest...