Author Topic: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive  (Read 5248 times)

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #25 on: November 25, 2017, 09:51:12 am »
What pisses me off more than cycling tat is supposedly-serious cycling stuff that is just wrong. E.g. the battery-powered flashity-flash hi-viz harness that crawled out from under the tree last year. And the glossy books about cols and TdF riders, about as useful and pleasing as a slide-rule would be for Stephen Hawking.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #26 on: November 25, 2017, 10:22:51 am »
Even cycling photobooks are rubbish now, because everyone is built the same and wears a helmet and sunglasses.  A few years ago you could see the faces, the hairstyles (Hinault's was too bouffant to be aerodynamic, really) and there was the odd fat Belgian sprinter.  The bikes aren't exactly pretty, either.

Here's Chiappucci in better times...he was pretty chunky by modern standards but he's KOTM, he's been out on his own most of the day and he's enjoying himself.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/51/3f/c8/513fc8a593ecade91958d6bd3d29220f.jpg
Never tell me the odds.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #27 on: November 25, 2017, 12:20:39 pm »
What pisses me off more than cycling tat is supposedly-serious cycling stuff that is just wrong. E.g. the battery-powered flashity-flash hi-viz harness that crawled out from under the tree last year. And the glossy books about cols and TdF riders, about as useful and pleasing as a slide-rule would be for Stephen Hawking.

Ah yes, the well-intentioned safety gimmick.  I don't get many presents, so I've been fortunate enough to avoid such things, but all those viral marketing campaigns for cycle indicators and laser-projecting helmets and smart rucksacks that tell drivers your speed or whatever seem to have awesome people-who-know-a-cyclist appeal.  I expect that 30 years ago it was those lollipop things...

I suppose being given a present that tells you that they think you're going to die is marginally less offensive than the traditional ones that suggest you smell.  And it's still better than getting things related to a sport you have no interest in simply because you ride a bike.  Do people who own a pair of trainers get bombarded by athletics books?
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Mrs Pingu

  • Who ate all the pies? Me
    • Twitter
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #28 on: November 25, 2017, 12:46:54 pm »
Someone I pass occasionally on my commute has one of these:


It is shit.
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #29 on: November 25, 2017, 12:56:25 pm »
Someone I pass occasionally on my commute has one of these:


It is shit.

They've installed a load of those on the Boris Bikes of That London.  They're useless on the road, but do serve to provide a sort of advanced warning that a BloodyCyclist is weaving their way through a pedestrian area at night.  You know, like a proper bike light does.

(I must confess there's a certain novelty in a laser thing I can actually see.  I struggle to notice red lasers as they're so dim, so missed out on the first generation of laser bike tat.)
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #30 on: November 25, 2017, 01:11:42 pm »
A sort of DIY bike-lane. "Really, officer, I *am* allowed to ride here - see the markings?"
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #31 on: November 25, 2017, 03:24:12 pm »
I find if I'm riding through London at dark o'clock, I have to make a conscious effort not to interpret those as 'Yep, there's a nice bicycle-appropriate space, and I've just got the green light to occupy it. Prepare to move, shoulder check - oh bollocks, I'm being overtaken1 by a hire bike.'




1: Actually, it's more usually undertaken, but YKWIM

Snakehips

  • Twixt London and leafy Surrey
    • Snakehips' Bikes
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #32 on: November 25, 2017, 04:45:28 pm »
I think if I had a green picture of a bike bobbing about in front of me I'd look at that the whole time and not look where I'm going.
Mustn't grumble in the circumstances .

Woofage

  • Ain't no hooves on my bike.
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #33 on: November 25, 2017, 05:59:43 pm »
No more bicycle themed tat please.  Just because it's got a bicycle on it doesn't make it not tat.

I dunno, my bike mug is my favourite and I drink my tea from it every morning (photo).

I also have some bike print pants and they're reet comfy.
Pen Pusher

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #34 on: November 25, 2017, 06:01:39 pm »
I dunno, my bike mug is my favourite and I drink my tea from it every morning (photo).

Your bike mug demonstrates an understanding of both bike frame geometry and mug handle ergonomics, thobut.
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Tim Hall

  • I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #35 on: November 25, 2017, 06:17:45 pm »
FWIW the Park Tools pizza wheel,shaped like a penny farthing, works well.
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

LittleWheelsandBig

  • Whimsy Rider
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #36 on: November 25, 2017, 06:22:45 pm »
Yup, the Park one is not like the cheapies.
Wheel meet again, don't know where, don't know when...

Snakehips

  • Twixt London and leafy Surrey
    • Snakehips' Bikes
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #37 on: November 25, 2017, 06:25:14 pm »
FWIW the Park Tools pizza wheel,shaped like a penny farthing, works well.
Indeed it does. I was given one at Xmas a few years ago and liked it so much I bought a few for other people.
Mustn't grumble in the circumstances .

Woofage

  • Ain't no hooves on my bike.
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #38 on: November 25, 2017, 06:46:38 pm »
Your bike mug demonstrates an understanding of both bike frame geometry and mug handle ergonomics, thobut.

Yes to both, in the senses of a "catalogue" photo and non-buggered-about-with mug design. It also holds a decent about of hot refreshing beverage, which is a not-insignificant bonus  ;D.
Pen Pusher

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #39 on: November 25, 2017, 06:50:26 pm »
FWIW the Park Tools pizza wheel,shaped like a penny farthing, works well.

The handlebars snapped off mine :'(
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

mattc

  • n.b. have grown beard since photo taken
    • Didcot Audaxes
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #40 on: November 25, 2017, 06:58:00 pm »
Yea, probably.
But here's another horror before we do...



It's rather ... Scottish, but otherwise not a bad jersey  :thumbsup:
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

LittleWheelsandBig

  • Whimsy Rider
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #41 on: November 25, 2017, 06:58:38 pm »
You don't use the handlebars to steer the Park pizza cutter through the pizza!
Wheel meet again, don't know where, don't know when...

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #42 on: November 26, 2017, 12:27:23 pm »
We have a no tat policy that is mostly observed. The sort of Chinese-manufactured crap that gives you 10 seconds of vague amusement on Christmas morning, then lies around the house for a couple of months because it has no practical use, and then ends up in landfill.
!nataS pihsroW

Mrs Pingu

  • Who ate all the pies? Me
    • Twitter
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #43 on: November 26, 2017, 12:41:38 pm »
We have a no tat policy that is mostly observed. The sort of Chinese-manufactured crap that gives you 10 seconds of vague amusement on Christmas morning, then lies around the house for a couple of months because it has no practical use, and then ends up in landfill.

That is exactly why I refuse to be drawn into secret Santa.
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #44 on: November 26, 2017, 02:28:59 pm »
We have a no tat policy that is mostly observed. The sort of Chinese-manufactured crap that gives you 10 seconds of vague amusement on Christmas morning, then lies around the house for a couple of months because it has no practical use, and then ends up in landfill.

That is exactly why I refuse to be drawn into secret Santa.
Ditto.
My gut feeling told me that my approach was correct to not be drawn into either the Secret Santa at work, nor the one with my family.

Clare

  • Is home
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #45 on: November 26, 2017, 02:38:41 pm »
I don't have any choice, everybody in in the secret santa and you are expected to buy cheap, plastic tat with which to entertain your colleagues at the Christmas dinner (which I also can't get out of).


ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #46 on: November 26, 2017, 09:04:55 pm »
I don't have any choice, everybody in in the secret santa and you are expected to buy cheap, plastic tat with which to entertain your colleagues at the Christmas dinner (which I also can't get out of).
One of the benefits of being either with clients, or home-based, "sorry I can't make it to the Christmas do this year, but I'm xxxxxistan.  Yes, I know I was there last year as well, maybe next year"
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
sideways bounding monkey lounging under fruit tree

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #48 on: November 27, 2017, 10:39:21 am »
The Park Tools pizza cutter, the Campagnolo corkscrew, the Chris King coffee filter. Yes, very nice. I'd really need to eat more pizza, drink more wine, drink some coffee to appreciate them.
sideways bounding monkey lounging under fruit tree

Re: Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive
« Reply #49 on: November 27, 2017, 12:28:01 pm »
Shimano should make a boutique teapot, being Japanese and all.  It would probably have electronic pouring technology, and wires that got in the way of a tea cosy.
Never tell me the odds.