Author Topic: The RANT thread... (part 1)  (Read 1130 times)


  • Quiet please
The RANT thread... (part 1)
« on: November 26, 2008, 08:58:43 pm »
Motorists of South London!  Take Professor Clarion's correspondence course, and in a matter of weeks, you will no longer need to use nasal whines to communicate.  This 26-part course simply and easily helps you round the difficulties of introducing consonants into your speech, and, if you progress to the Advanced Course, you will be able to begin with basic logic to construct sentences that actually have meaning and context.

Unsolicited testimonials:

Mr A Tosser of Carshalton writes:  Before taking Professor Clarion's course, I shouted "We' li' you Kan" at a cyclist who turned right in front of me.  Now I realise that there was no red light, and I was just being a complete dicksplash.  Thank you, Professor Clarion!

Mr D Rivinmymumscorsa of Carshalton writes:  Until a friend recommended Professor Clarion's course, I thought it was reasonable to cut onto a roundabout directly in front of a cyclist, and then drive alongside him spouting complete bollocks.  Now I am a changed man, and Professor Clarion has convinced me that I should give my mum her car back because I can't actually drive.

Special Offer:  Buy the Basic and Advanced Course together, get 25% off the advertised price!  In just six months, you too could be almost human!*

* Professor Clarion Inc cannot accept returns from people too moronic to pass Part One.