Author Topic: Help in designing new pizza recipe.  (Read 787 times)

sprogs

  • from your big sister, Steve.
Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« on: January 12, 2021, 07:23:22 pm »
I have for a long time wanted to make a new pizza recipe. I've devised a few over the years, some good, some O.K. (Try sauteed sprout and sardine topping, it was one of those "12:35 back from the pub what's in the house ?" recipes. BRILL !).
My goal this time is a bit cart before horse, I want to make the "Pizza Quattro venti". The Four Winds pizza !
SO ! I need toppings that will bring forth the "Ill winds that no-one blows good".
So far I have decided on Jerusalem artichokes, so good (bad) that even Samuel Pepys mentions their foule stenche in his diary.
So get cracking chums, but remember!!!! it must taste good.
Liz.

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2021, 07:47:20 pm »
I've only eaten Jerusalem artichoke once and later that evening I was praying for death as my ravaged trumpet put paid to the walls of Jericho.

Celeriac also gets me every time with the sort of seismic activity that sends even a seasoned Californian cowering in a doorway. It's no help when the foul pyroclastic flow catches them a moment later. If you make the toilet, it feels like you are shitting the Hindenburg. And it's on fire.

Lentils induce an aromatic bubbliness, a sort of deranged anal giggling, like your nethers have been possessed by a demonic presence and it can't help but reveal its foul schemes to anyone in the vicinity.

Mushy peas induce a more gentle blast-off, more ion-drive than hydrazine. Like hydrazine though, don't stand nearby, and unlike hydrazine, it's certainly not odorless.
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slope

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Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2021, 07:51:21 pm »
Try sauteed sprout and sardine topping, it was BRILL!

That sounds bonzer and will be tried here ASAP  :thumbsup:

quixoticgeek

  • Mostly Harmless
Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2021, 08:25:52 pm »


Just because you can... doesn't mean you should...

J
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Pingu

  • Put away those fiery biscuits!
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Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2021, 08:27:17 pm »
Beanz meanz fartz.

Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2021, 08:29:32 pm »
Add a handful of lentils.

Guaranteed shart.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #6 on: January 12, 2021, 09:03:52 pm »
Keep your fingers on the pulses...
Felafel balls for spicy, farty, Veganuary goodness
Cheese topped peas and green beans
Fish, chips & mushy peas
Brassica Quadrant: broccoli, cauliflower cheese & roast sprouts...

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #7 on: January 13, 2021, 12:13:12 am »
Chic peas. That would do it.
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Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #8 on: January 13, 2021, 12:29:02 am »
Delete the tomato sauce. Use pesto.  Delicious.

fboab

  • It's a fecking serious business, riding a bike
Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #9 on: January 13, 2021, 08:45:14 am »
Nothing get me going like mince pies. Not sure you can put that much dried fruit on a pizza though.  :sick:
TSS is not Total Sex Score, Chris!

Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #10 on: January 13, 2021, 08:48:43 am »
Nothing get me going like mince pies. Not sure you can put that much dried fruit on a pizza though.  :sick:

Large round of PUFF pastry and a layer of mincemeat? Topped with dried fruits ?

Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #11 on: January 13, 2021, 08:50:37 am »
Nothing get me going like mince pies. Not sure you can put that much dried fruit on a pizza though.  :sick:
Calzone ?


ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #12 on: January 13, 2021, 09:59:31 am »
Delete the tomato sauce. Use pesto.  Delicious.

He's not wrong, I put some dashes of pesto and some tomato puree and smear it out. Instant sauce that doesn't soak into the base (essential if you don't have a superhot oven).

On other matters of import, the brassicas don't really affect me, nor really chickpeas. Lentils and red kidney beans, on the other hand, cause full-on intestinal disobedience. Not in the same league as Jerusalem artichoke or celeriac though, were you are praying for death and he takes one sniff and refuses to take you.

For an avant-garde pizza experience, there's always the infamous sugar-free Haribo gummy bears.
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Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #13 on: January 13, 2021, 12:01:55 pm »

Excellent idea, sprogs! [she says, from a safe distance]

Chickpeas and dried fruit get me going, too so maybe combine them both and add apricot into the falafel that Helly suggested?

I can also send you some of the curry I made last night... (chickpeas again, or possibly undercooked onion - whatever, it's been very potent!)

Are you planning on just mixing all the toppings together, or will you quarter the pizza so you can have different vibes for each of the four winds?


Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #14 on: January 13, 2021, 12:03:04 pm »
Chickpeas and dried fruit get me going, too so maybe combine them both and add apricot into the falafel that Helly suggested?

Errr.. heading to NSFW in ..3...2..1...

Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #15 on: January 13, 2021, 06:53:45 pm »
Pineapple  ;D :demon: walks very slowly away.....
the slower you go the more you see

sprogs

  • from your big sister, Steve.
Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #16 on: January 13, 2021, 08:09:20 pm »
The important thing is that it should, to all appearances, be a real Italian pizza. So no mushy peas thankyou.
I intend it to have four quarters with a topping on each.
For those intrigued by sprout and sardine pizza, I sliced the sprouts vertically about 1/4", sauteed the slices in butter until soft and just browning at the edges. I separated the sardines into fillets and used the tomato sauce and some tomato puree to make the sauce. I'm not sure (it was a long time ago in a galaxy far away)what kind of cheese I used but I think it was Dolcelatte. Certainly bluish.
It was one of those "Eight pint two spliff three a.m. what's in the fridge" munchies type things, Went well though !
Liz

Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #17 on: January 13, 2021, 08:19:20 pm »
The important thing is that it should, to all appearances, be a real Italian pizza.

Base made from gram flour?

Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #18 on: January 13, 2021, 08:54:40 pm »
Delete the tomato sauce. Use pesto.  Delicious.

He's not wrong, I put some dashes of pesto and some tomato puree and smear it out. Instant sauce that doesn't soak into the base (essential if you don't have a superhot oven).

On other matters of import, the brassicas don't really affect me, nor really chickpeas. Lentils and red kidney beans, on the other hand, cause full-on intestinal disobedience. Not in the same league as Jerusalem artichoke or celeriac though, were you are praying for death and he takes one sniff and refuses to take you.

For an avant-garde pizza experience, there's always the infamous sugar-free Haribo gummy bears.

Reminds me of the infamous Vietnamese pizzas of the 90s found in backpacker cafes.

I had one with semi-cooked dough, ketchup, and DairyLea cheese triangles


Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #19 on: January 13, 2021, 10:02:29 pm »
For an avant-garde pizza experience, there's always the infamous sugar-free Haribo gummy bears.

https://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummy-Candy-Sugarless-5-Pound/dp/B000EVQWKC  ;D :demon: ;D

(via: https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=79485.0 - the forum search engine actually came up trumps for a change!)
He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #20 on: January 13, 2021, 11:06:35 pm »
Chic peas. That would do it.

Why do you think I suggested felafel balls?

Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #21 on: January 14, 2021, 12:15:51 pm »
how about a chilli roulette pizza?

Chillis of varying grades, scattered about.

Standard tomato sauce. Dot with blobs of good mozzarella. then sprinkle with chillis.


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Cudzoziemiec

  • Eating all the pies and drinking all the tea.
Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #22 on: January 14, 2021, 12:19:18 pm »
Refried beans mixed with a bit of chilli powder to imitate tomato sauce.

I've definitely had pizza with artichoke. It was very tasty.
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ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #23 on: January 14, 2021, 01:13:58 pm »
Jerusalem is the fartichoke, normal (and completely unrelated) artichoke is fine (and a good pizza topping). Also quite good in the totally inauthentic chicken proven├žal, which I'm having for my tea this evening.
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Cudzoziemiec

  • Eating all the pies and drinking all the tea.
Re: Help in designing new pizza recipe.
« Reply #24 on: January 14, 2021, 02:03:01 pm »
I think it's glove artichoke pizzas I've had. Might be interesting to try a Jerusalem artichoke pizza, maybe a half and half thing for comparison.
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Portaloos for Brexit