Author Topic: Weird/funny dreams you've had  (Read 89104 times)

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #625 on: December 10, 2016, 11:46:19 am »
To hear some of our pols it won't be so long before you will have to wear a burqa down south.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #626 on: January 03, 2017, 07:23:11 pm »
I came back from cycling somewhere without my bike, and couldn't remember what had happened to it.  For reasons that are probably Freudian, my mum, brother and I immediately set off in the car to look for it, on the off-chance that I'd just left it somewhere and forgotten about it rather than having been bike-jacked.  Brother was unsympathetic because he was under the impression that I was rolling in money and could just buy a new one.  Mum kept ignoring my instructions to re-trace my route and went off in some random direction where I hadn't been.  We occasionally stopped and I asked random strangers if they'd seen a black Dawes with butterfly bars, which of course they hadn't.

I woke up before this was resolved, but I can confirm that the bike is okay, and I haven't seen either my mum or brother for about a decade.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #627 on: January 14, 2017, 11:30:18 am »
We had moved into a converted church. On our second day there, when it was already miraculously(!) fully furnished and feeling lived in, Chris S turned up as our postman. He said that in future, as it was a converted church, he could deliver our post directly to the former vestry, which was now my office. Post Office regulation, apparently. The former vestry was where the chancel should be, at the end of what had been the nave, and it was pointed like the prow of a ship, but somehow it had been the vestry. So the next day we were out when the post came, but Chris walked in (he didn't have a key, there seems to have been no wall at the other end of the former nave) and put the post in the vestry-office. And there something heavy fell on his head and killed him. This meant I inherited all his bikes. But there was no tandem, I guess fboab (who didn't feature at all in the dream) must have kept that. We were all out at the time, honest, officer.
A cup of tea is the perfect bridge between real life and cake.

Torslanda

  • Professional Gobshite
  • Just a tart for retro kit . . .
    • John's Bikes
Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #628 on: January 16, 2017, 10:30:42 am »
I was going to see a mate in Leeds. Suddenly I was cycling down the hard shoulder of the M621 and really flying. Dropped down the slip road at Elland Rd and turned left. The road turned into a back street in Roundhay and suddenly my pedals wouldn't turn. I could back pedal but couldn't make any forward movement and it didn't matter what gear I selected. Got there, had a cup of tea and said I had to get going because I needed to open the shop. For some reason I had mountain bike shoes and Look pedals but no problem clipping in...
VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #629 on: January 16, 2017, 10:34:29 am »
Been at the "Plum Pudding" again?

Torslanda

  • Professional Gobshite
  • Just a tart for retro kit . . .
    • John's Bikes
Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #630 on: January 16, 2017, 10:39:51 am »
 ;D
VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

woollypigs

  • Mr Peli
    • woollypigs
Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #631 on: March 11, 2017, 02:58:45 pm »
Well this morning one was rather good, very vivid and full of details.

Peli and me, was on an over night bus* tour. With random people we knew and some unknowns. The middle of the night - in the middle of nowhere - stop for grub was at a pub, come road side dinner, where they spoke Dutch**. The place was on an island like the ones in Croatia, but I'm not sure where we were.

Funny side note, even though it was in the middle of the night, it was a done in daylight.

We walked down some concert steps, thru a wire gate from the parking into the building. You saw the menu at one point***, ordered elsewhere and had to pickup the food from a hole in the wall across a table where people was sat and eating.

I picked up my burger but from some reason it were stacked with a tissue within. Which caused me only to pickup a third, spill a third on the people at the table - which they were ok with - and forgot the plate with the last third. The people then gave me the spilled bits and plate, well man came walking after me with it. I only just found out something was wrong as I was picking tissue out of my mouth****.

I lost Peli at this point, so was faffing with my phone which only wanted to boot into the terminal*****. While I was working with that SAS from this parish, turned up for a chat. In the background there was a telly going which the host was nattering about a new worrying thing, one should report to the police and stay away from. What ever it was, scarfs was one of the warning signs.

I then noticed that the place was getting pretty empty, so I put my trousers back on, eh? And SAS and me, made our way back towards the bus, in a slight hurry. Going up the concrete steps****** all the fellow passengers, from other busses too, were coming down in a meandering chatty stroll. SAS got a few steps ahead of me, when I stopped to chat with Peli and her sister.

I then noticed that they were very keen on talking about and stroking the scarf on them. Then it clicked about the TV show I wasn't paying attention to.

I shouted to SAS to get off the steps and on to the grass verge. We then legged up the steps as that was now the route back to the eatery, which we just came up from. We used a padlock to lock the wire fence and gate and ran towards the main doors.

Then Peli woke me up ...

* This might be from my latest journey to London, though it was on a train.
** Went to the My Old Dutch restaurant, even though the staff didn't speak Dutch.
*** Went to Subway and that is the silly thing you do to get your order, 2-3 staff to do your sarnie and you have to explain to each of them what you are having.
**** Every time I get a Subway I end up with wrapping in my mouth.
***** That is probably a mix from getting a new computer and setting it up in the terminal along with new update of the OS on my phone I got yesterday,
****** I think that is the left over from taking the tube in London.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #632 on: May 07, 2017, 03:55:08 pm »
Kajsa had persuaded me to subscribe to Cycling Weekly, which resulted in the delivery of several large CAKES every week.  There were far too many of them and lack of storage space was becoming a problem.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #633 on: May 07, 2017, 03:59:03 pm »
Lack of storage space for cake? Does not compute!
A cup of tea is the perfect bridge between real life and cake.

Tim Hall

  • I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes
Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #634 on: July 18, 2017, 01:05:29 pm »
There I was riding my bike, somewhere round the edge of Croydon when the drugs began to take hold. Ahead of me was a tandem, which I caught up.  The stoker I immediately recognised as fboab (although she didn't look anything like fboab in Real Life), so I said hello. I surmised, correctly, that the other person was Mr Smith.
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

Pedaldog

  • M' back!
  • Head Banger.
Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #635 on: July 18, 2017, 08:59:52 pm »
I was at the baggage collection carousel, some transport hub, and waiting for my red Norco Panniers. It suddenly seemed that the other 20, or more, people with me were waiting for their red Norco panniers too! Hundreds  of these panniers came round the carousel but none of them belonged to me, or any of the other people! Our RED NORCO PANNIERS had been dropped off in China and the travellers waiting in China had our RED NORCO PANNIERS!
Aargh!

This has some relevance as, back in 1991, my friend and I arrived in Mumbai and discovered that our bags, everything we'd packed for a year or two away, had gone on, to China.

Vince

  • Can't climb; won't climb
Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #636 on: July 22, 2017, 04:52:53 pm »
I must stop watching Fargo late at night.
The arch villain had hijacked 3 Saturn V rockets, disguised then as farm silos and shipped them to his secret base and was going to hold the world to ransom using them as ICBMs.
216km from Marsh Gibbon

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #637 on: July 28, 2017, 12:25:38 am »
I spent a while getting my Brompton up to scratch and admiring it. Then someone came along and said they'd like to buy it. I said £875 and they jumped at it. I wished I'd asked for more.

I don't have a Brompton.
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #638 on: August 03, 2017, 03:50:00 pm »
I wanted to make jerky for endurance fodder, so I bought a dead cow.  Complete. Then started wondering how I was going to butcher it.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

fuzzy (retd.) AAGE

  • SWMBO's Toy Boy.
  • Apprentice Leathery Old Git
    • The Secret Cyclist blog
Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #639 on: August 03, 2017, 11:00:50 pm »
I spent a while getting my Brompton up to scratch and admiring it. Then someone came along and said they'd like to buy it. I said £875 and they jumped at it. I wished I'd asked for more.

I don't have a Brompton.

We know you don't have a Brompton. You sold it for £875.

Yes, thats thge one, with the gloves and scarf in the pocket..........
Quote from: tatanab
The mark of a true cyclist - prepared to try anything on offer

If it ain't bad for you it ain't worth doing

Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #640 on: August 05, 2017, 04:53:25 pm »
Was driving my shiny new sports car away from the supermarket when a dirty green landrover pick up laden with very large rusty cast iron cyclinder heads with cooling fins, came round the bend on my side and I had to take sharp avoiding action which may or may not have scratched my shiny new sports car.  I leapt from my car and without hesitation picked up one side of the landrover and upturned it.  As I did so a bystander muttered to me 'that won't do it any good, you know' but I did it anyway.  Then I drove off wondering if maybe I should have left my insurance details.   This was odd because I don't have insurance for a shiny new sports car.  I was quite pleased when I woke up and realised it hadn't happened.
Sic transit and all that..

Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #641 on: August 05, 2017, 06:41:24 pm »
I've been writing letters to the great and not so good. Including most of Team Sky, various BBC news presenters, Trump, Princes Philip and Harry, Mo Farah, and Tomsk (did it arrive Tom?). I also paid a visit to the Embassy of Democratic People's Republic of Korea so I could correctly address Kim Jong Un.

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #642 on: August 31, 2017, 01:25:56 pm »
Was given a commission by a very officious & somewhat censorious woman to photograph her important walk through a run-down semi-industrial area, shops & dwellings mixed with factories & warehouses, with bits of crane, gantry & catwalk sticking out of tall red-brick walls.  I had to use the equipment provided, which was an OM-1 with an unstabilized 500-mm Nikon prime lens (it worked, don't ask me how). Continual hassle with DOF, shake, moving back yard after yard to get stuff in focus; utter hell.  At one point I pulled the focussing sleeve back (shades of old 1-touch zooms): it left an inner cardboard sleeve sticking out in front so I pushed it forward again and said nowt. The thing was nose-heavy, too, and holding it up for some of the shots was murder. All the time I had the client's impatient, disapproving presence at my elbow.

Quite a relief to wake up.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #643 on: August 31, 2017, 01:34:09 pm »
I had an unfunny dream on Tuesday night: Trump had started a nuclear war and I was watching it on satellite TV with live commentary. When I say satellite TV, it was a view of the earth filmed from a satellite. First he nuked Norway, because everyone knew the Norwegians had done something to deserve it. "There goes Norway," said the commentator. "Those boys sure earned it." Although it was clearly not Norway but Sweden. Then we saw a big mushroom cloud go up over Denmark, and the commentator was very surprised. "We don't know what he's hit Denmark for. I guess this is it now. You'd all better go hide." Oddly, this was all in black and white. Then I was wondering if there was anywhere I could hide and then I woke up. Must stop paying attention to news.
A cup of tea is the perfect bridge between real life and cake.

Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #644 on: October 08, 2017, 08:17:39 am »
I was supposed to be getting a double decker bus to work but the driver, the wheezing, obese, medical oxygen-inhaling, chain-smoking dogger from "Bad Education" let it drive off down a hill on its own, revving furiously in a cloud of exhaust fumes.  We then went to the nearest gents toilet where we were joined by Charlotte in full biker gear.  After the two of them had finished discussing what unspeakable things they were going to do to me, they relented and just held me down when Charlotte shaved most of my eyebrows off.

I may never sleep again.
Never tell me the odds.

Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #645 on: October 13, 2017, 07:06:32 am »
Staying in Edinburgh with Mrs Ham, I woke up early and decide to go for a ride. Leaving aside that this Edinburgh is on top of a much bigger hill, I'm going down, dodging the cars, really looking forward to coming back up. Half way down I realise I've left my bike at the top and I'm walking.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #646 on: October 17, 2017, 09:10:11 am »
A confused dream which included (this is sad) being on YACF. I was reading a reply from Helly to me on a post about Liverpool losing to Everton in a match played at a Formula 1 conference centre. And that was motorsport, not French motels.  ???
A cup of tea is the perfect bridge between real life and cake.

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #647 on: October 17, 2017, 10:14:09 am »
My old boss designated me as head of the project to build the company's high-speed train, with a 20,000-euro bonus for bringing it in on time. Details, details: in real life the company made computers and I ran word-processing development.

Woke up with a headful of plans, though, and dozed for half an hour reviewing them.  Felt quite dynamic. Breakfast changed that.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #648 on: October 18, 2017, 11:03:02 am »
More of a nightmare really...

Some forumites had persuaded me to take part in a running event (I know!).  I was about 8km in (I know!) and thinking "I can do this, it's just pain" when a dog ran barking up to me, latched on to and started gnawing my belt (I know!) in he's just being friendly manner.  My attempts to prise him off resulted in a scratched bleeding leg and gnawed fingers.  Eventually some marshals appeared, detached the dog, and provided water to wash away the slobber and some proper PE kit from the lost property box (this is presumably where PE kit breeds).  RichForrest turned up with some proper trainers that didn't fit, but were an improvement on my DMs so I wore them anyway.

I was approaching the finish line (I know!) when I woke up screaming.  That hasn't happened for ages.

The neighbours' dog was barking.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
« Reply #649 on: October 18, 2017, 11:47:01 am »
I dreamt I was going out with a friend of the family (that I did go out with briefly when I was twelve).

We were sitting on her bed, which happened to be in the living room of my old house, and I was making scrambled eggs for us both.
Miles cycled 2014 = 3551.5 (Target 7300 :()
Miles cycled 2013 = 6141.4
Miles cycled 2012 = 4038.1