The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)

[citoyen]

I have nothing against the colour pink. In fact, I would go so far as to say I like it...

EXCEPT WHEN I'M TRYING TO PRINT SOMETHING THAT NEEDS TO BE RED, YOU STUPID BASTARD PIECE OF SHIT PRINTER.

[hellymedic]

Is the YELLOW empty?

It's often the first to run out...

[citoyen]

Is the YELLOW empty?

It's often the first to run out...

I swapped all the cartridges today so definitely not run out, but I’ve ascertained that the yellow cartridge is probably faulty. I ran the bastard machine through all three levels of its print head cleaning routine TWICE and that has improved matters a bit, but if I keep going through the cleaning regime, it probably will run out of ink before it is perfect.

[Torslanda]

No. I don't want to talk to you about making my website 'more visible to a Google 'crawler', whatever the fuck that is.

I have neither the time nor the patience to try and understand your brand of shattered English. Sorry, it's the only language I'm fluent in. Goodbye.

See also 'your electricity contract is up for renewal' and 'save money on your water supply by switching provider'.

The ONLY phone call that's acceptable right now is someone telling me they're on the way down to help with the fucking great mountain of bike repairs I need to finish before tomorrow night. Thanks for listening.

[Jurek]

Whitstable High Street.
Take away bacon sandwich. 
£4.50.
WTAF?

[citoyen]

Whitstable High Street.
Take away bacon sandwich. 
£4.50.
WTAF?

As I said to my mate who complained about the cost of parking in Whitstable, we price it to keep the riffraff out. 

Trying to think where in town would charge that much for a bacon sandwich though - Tea & Times?

[Jurek]

Whitstable Coffee Company

[citoyen]

Whitstable Coffee Company

Never been in there. Now I know why!

[fuzzy]

Apropos of Whitstable- took the crumblies there fo a little while on Wednesday (as a young, my folks took me and brother to Whitstable lots- we terrorised the crab population form the timbers of a collapsing slipway close the the Pearsons Arms by dangling cockle baited lines into the water for hours. happy days!). After Dad had partaken of his ritual tub of jellied eels  we lunched at The Marine Hotel in Tankerton where I imbibed a pint of Whitstable Bay Blonde. Chuffing lovely pint.

[essexian]

Dear Neighbour

So, you have gone on holiday have you.... hope you have a lovely time unlike your two cats: "Mog" and "Snowflake" who you have locked out of your home and have not arranged for anyone to come round to feed them....well apart from us that is. And no, they didn't ask us to or provide us with any food to give them. If we didn't feed them then as they are so hungry they were just trying to steal it which caused fights with our four.

It's not that I mind feeding stray's....we have a couple who come around every day for food, but frankly if you can't arrange for someone to look after your cats whilst away, you shouldn't have any.

Poor Mog is currently trying to sleep in our hallway but keeps getting evil looks from our lead Queen Elma. I am not sure where Snowflake is but hope she is in our summerhouse in the warm: she can't be more than a year old so won't be used to roughing it.


Neighbours eh. 

[SoreTween]

Report them as strays to cats protection?

[rogerzilla]

Lord Tigs gets fed at so many houses already (which is why he is 14lb) that a similar thought had crossed my mind...but no, he'd just start living somewhere else.

[hellymedic]

I think the local rodent population would sustain our tamed ferals.

They did before we offloaded several of their litter mates.

[CAMRAMan]

BagBnB: Kindly do not allow one of your luggage storage providers to advertise their facility on your system only for me to go there on Monday to find it closed. Yes, it was a bank holiday, but you should ensure they are open when they are taking bookings. And, what use is emailing me half an hour after I was supposed to drop the bag off to offer us somewhere a couple of miles away?!

[tiermat]

Oi! Cousin!

Look, I know it's going to be hard for you, having lost your mum earlier this year.

How about, for once, though, thinking of others? Sure many people seek solace in a bottle after the loss of a loved one, but your behaviour is fitting of a teen, not the >50 year old you are. You choosing to offload just how shit your life is onto my mum, your mum's sister (!) is just fucking crass, insensitive and inconsiderate, especially considering that my mum is not only having to deal with her own grief but is worried sick about my dad who had a lump removed from his nose only to find it needs radio therapy to completely eradicate the tumour.

So in short, shut the fuck up, pull your life together and realise that the world doesn't revolve around you!

[tiermat]

...and onto 2 car related ones.

1) Person who works next door, please do not think, just because you work on this street, that the whole damned street is yours for parking your car.  Especially not when that involves you parking your heap of shit half way across our driveway then fucking off out!!!  I was very restrained with my note, I was calm talking to your supervisor, the next time you _will_ come back to find your car on the back of a flatbed and you will have to deal with the costs involved, as well as the possibility of you losing your job.

2) Idiot in a Q5 (is there any other type?).  Sorry won't pay my martgage.  Sorry won't hug my daughter goodnight.  Sorry won't say "I love you" to my wife.  So why the fuck is it OK for you to race around the car park at Durham station, ignoring the road markings and not even going anywhere near touching your brakes, as long as you wave and mouth "Sorry"?  You are fucking lucky I didn't chase you down and make you late for whatever it was (I am guessing a train) that made you act like a complete and utter tool.

[Torslanda]

Bastard autocorrect - which, oddly enough . . .

[Mrs Pingu]

Dear Clarks shoes, your website is shite. Why won't you let me buy the sodding shoes?! Grrrrrr

[Kim]

Dear Clarks shoes, your website is shite. Why won't you let me buy the sodding shoes?! Grrrrrr

It's a conspiracy to make you go to a shoe-shop in the traditional Back To School shopping trip of doom.  Except as an adult you don't even get to buy a new pencil case.

[Mrs Pingu]

Dear Clarks shoes, your website is shite. Why won't you let me buy the sodding shoes?! Grrrrrr

It's a conspiracy to make you go to a shoe-shop in the traditional Back To School shopping trip of doom.  Except as an adult you don't even get to buy a new pencil case.

Bollocks to that.

Got there eventually after unselecting my work address and selecting delivery to the click & collect place round the corner.

[ian]

It is ever fucking possible to use BA airmiles? OK, it's rhetorical.

I have billions of them. I could probably go to the moon. Except I can't because it'll be 'unavailable' for some reason. Which is why I have billions in the first place. Every time I try to use them: unavailable.

This might, of course, be a #FirstWorldProblem. Plus there's the bonus of not sticking my CC details into BA's site. Do you feel lucky, punk? Not especially BA, no.

And if I buy the bloody ticket and try to upgrade with my miles? Oh, that's rhetorical too. It'll be 'unavailable on this flight.'

[Ham]

It is ever fucking possible to use BA airmiles? OK, it's rhetorical.

I have billions of them. I could probably go to the moon. Except I can't because it'll be 'unavailable' for some reason. Which is why I have billions in the first place. Every time I try to use them: unavailable.

This might, of course, be a #FirstWorldProblem. Plus there's the bonus of not sticking my CC details into BA's site. Do you feel lucky, punk? Not especially BA, no.

And if I buy the bloody ticket and try to upgrade with my miles? Oh, that's rhetorical too. It'll be 'unavailable on this flight.'

Never had a problem. you can always use them to reduce the cost of a ticket and ....oh bollocks, they've done away with the map.

[ian]

I dunno, whenever I try to use them it's always bloody unavailable and would I like to travel on the 11th. Not really. Upgrading is usually fine, tbh, though it abstracts a filthy number of miles, but I seem to have about 250k. Unfortunately, I think my wife is booked in premium so if I go business...

Death will come swiftly, I imagine. Well it will possibly allow me enough time to squeak like a lost kitten.

[barakta]

Why does the UK rail network have so many single points of failure.

Why is information provision about train failures so utterly useless?

I am now down £100+ including for work done cos I couldn't GET to work. Had I known last night (incident started 3pm yesterday) I could have found alternative routes...

I am now looking for who can refund me that loss cos I'm fucked if I'm sucking it up cos we don't have a resilient rail network and we can't do basic info provision.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Why does the UK rail network have so many single points of failure.

Why is information provision about train failures so utterly useless?

I am now down £100+ including for work done cos I couldn't GET to work. Had I known last night (incident started 3pm yesterday) I could have found alternative routes...

I am now looking for who can refund me that loss cos I'm fucked if I'm sucking it up cos we don't have a resilient rail network and we can't do basic info provision.

Which operator or operators?