Author Topic: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)  (Read 1472629 times)

Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #25 on: June 18, 2008, 11:20:27 am »
Arrgghh.  Supermarket queues.  The old woman (yes, always an old woman) behind me who insists on prompting me to move forward (to in front of my items on the conveyer) by shoving me with her trolley.  Repeatedly.  It takes great restraint not to turn around, hit her with a frozen pizza and shout "stop f_ing shoving me with your f_ing trolley or I'll beat you with it".   >:(  Maybe it's just me though  :-\

Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #26 on: June 18, 2008, 11:29:30 am »
Motons!  Speed cameras are not calibrated to photograph you if you are travelling at 10mph below the prevailing limit.
Never tell me the odds.

Julian

  • samoture
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #27 on: June 18, 2008, 11:35:16 am »
Drivers!  The gentle tinkling of the Nokia tune is not an emergency alarm.  You do not have to swerve into the cycle lane in order to answer it right now.  You do at least have time to check your mirrors.  The end of the tune does not signify imminent disaster.

tiermat

  • According to Jane, I'm a Unisex SpaceAdmin
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #28 on: June 18, 2008, 12:19:38 pm »
Arrgghh.  Supermarket queues.  The old woman (yes, always an old woman) behind me who insists on prompting me to move forward (to in front of my items on the conveyer) by shoving me with her trolley.  Repeatedly.  It takes great restraint not to turn around, hit her with a frozen pizza and shout "stop f_ing shoving me with your f_ing trolley or I'll beat you with it".   >:(  Maybe it's just me though  :-\

No it's not just you, one guy had his trolley pushed back into his voluminous gut the other night becasue he did this to me, then he had the temerity to give me the evils....
I feel like Captain Kirk, on a brand new planet every day, a little like King Kong on top of the Empire State

Fi

Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #29 on: June 18, 2008, 12:22:18 pm »
Jasmine, it's not just you.  It infuriates me too. I always say something,reasonably politely with accompanying glare. I don't think old age exempts you from considerations about bashing people's backsides and legs.  It's not just supermarke queues, it's airport queues and anywhere else you have to queue where people have bags or trolleys , even getting off a train.  That's where Bromptons come in handy, you just swing 'em behind you, that keeps the buggers off.

Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #30 on: June 18, 2008, 12:29:06 pm »
Obese mobile phone users!  When you're waddling down a narrow corridor at work doing 0.25mph and sending inane text messages to your mate who works in Somerfields, please pay heed to the queue of people behind who are unable to pass because of your wobbling saddlebags.
Never tell me the odds.

tiermat

  • According to Jane, I'm a Unisex SpaceAdmin
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #31 on: June 18, 2008, 12:29:15 pm »
Or, as previously suggested, learn to fart on demand  :demon:
I feel like Captain Kirk, on a brand new planet every day, a little like King Kong on top of the Empire State

Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #32 on: June 18, 2008, 12:41:07 pm »
Once the plane has landed

We are all going to be stood round the baggage carousel for the next forty minutes anyway. You are not saving any time by leaping to your feet before the plane has finished taxiing and dragging your pox ridden hand luggage out of the locker above my head. If you do manage to drop that laptop or souvenir spanish straw donkey on me I'll have great pleasure in shoving it somewhere the sun doesn't shine :demon:
“There is no point in using the word 'impossible' to describe something that has clearly happened.”
― Douglas Adams

Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #33 on: June 18, 2008, 12:48:39 pm »
Similarly, when boarding a train, wait for the people who want to get off before trying to shuffle your sweaty body on to the train. 10 people trying to get off through doors only a few feet wide whilst 10 idiots try and get on is not going to work. It really isn't that difficult. Knobs.
Those wonderful norks are never far from my thoughts, oh yeah!

Rob

Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #34 on: June 18, 2008, 01:15:22 pm »
Don't stand there in the queue whinging that there are loads of people in the supermarket on a Saturday morning.    You, kindly retired person with one pack of butter and a bread roll, have all fcuking week to go fcuking shopping !   I'm here today because I have to go to WORK all fcuking week....

Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #35 on: June 18, 2008, 01:16:13 pm »
Once the plane has landed

We are all going to be stood round the baggage carousel for the next forty minutes anyway.

Some people do travel with just hand luggage, but that doesn't excuse rude people pushing and shoving to get off the aeroplane.
"Yes please" said Squirrel "biscuits are our favourite things."

Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #36 on: June 18, 2008, 01:19:39 pm »
Spammers!  I don't need vaigra, V14gra, bLue p1llz or however you mis-spell it.



Yet.
Never tell me the odds.

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #37 on: June 18, 2008, 01:22:30 pm »
Septics!  If starting a Usenet thread about guns, don't bother posting it to newsfroups in the uk. hierarchy.  Unless you want to be introduced to Mr. Shovel the next time I visit Transpondia.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #38 on: June 18, 2008, 02:46:03 pm »
Builders (specifically HETAS engineers).  £1800 is not a reasonable rate for a day's labour, unless you are an incredibly high-class call girl.  Thanks for the quote, but we'll come back in the depths of the recession and see what you'll work for then.
Never tell me the odds.

Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #39 on: June 18, 2008, 02:49:34 pm »
'kin 'ell - some of you can Rant for England. Nice Job  :thumbsup:

By the way, my knee still f'kin hurts.

Regulator

  • Got a thing for rubber...
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #40 on: June 18, 2008, 04:57:34 pm »
'kin 'ell - some of you can Rant for England. Nice Job  :thumbsup:

By the way, my knee still f'kin hurts.


Stop whinging....  ;D
Quote from: clarion
I completely agree with Reg.

alan

Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #41 on: June 18, 2008, 05:03:53 pm »
and start ranting >:(

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #42 on: June 19, 2008, 10:08:23 am »
If you do not wish to be thought of as an hopeless reactionary, try quoting some more up-to-date Joke Comedy Stuffs than Monty Python's Flying Circus.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

tiermat

  • According to Jane, I'm a Unisex SpaceAdmin
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #43 on: June 19, 2008, 10:12:56 am »
If you do not wish to be thought of as an hopeless reactionary, try quoting some more up-to-date Joke Comedy Stuffs than Monty Python's Flying Circus.

And please please please stop quoting the "Parrot Sketch" unless it is in the style of my FIL who drops the odd reference to Norwegian Blues in avian related conversations.  Try the "Archbishop of Canterbury" sketch of such like.  FFS EVERYONE knows the parrot sketch backwards, forwards and upside down, and most of the time gets it wrong!  Whilst we are on this subject please step away from the Little Britain catchphrases, it's just not funny any more.

I'm just going to lie down and think about the Penguin on the telly, maybe it DID come from next door :)
I feel like Captain Kirk, on a brand new planet every day, a little like King Kong on top of the Empire State

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #44 on: June 19, 2008, 10:17:38 am »
Though I must confess that every time I viewed a news item on the recent cyclone in a certain military dictatorship, I had an overwhelming urge to  shout:

BURMA!
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

tiermat

  • According to Jane, I'm a Unisex SpaceAdmin
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #45 on: June 19, 2008, 10:18:30 am »
Why did you say Burma?
I paniced! :)
I feel like Captain Kirk, on a brand new planet every day, a little like King Kong on top of the Empire State

Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #46 on: June 19, 2008, 10:37:43 am »
Motorists of North Wales: when I am approaching a roundabout at the bottom of a fairly steep hill my attention is on many things: blinking through the pissing howling wind & rain, braking, looking to the exit on my right (which is largely obscured until about 10 m from the entrance to the roundabout), attempting to discourage the motorist behind me from overtaking (or indeed undertaking) me on this single lane entrance, staring out the motorists to my left who really, really want to pull out in front of me, and the cunningly placed manhole covers.  I do not need the extra task of avoiding your spilled diesel or petrol.  Learn to fill your vehicle properly, return the cap, and for fuck's sake get the leaks fixed.  Is it really too much to ask?

Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #47 on: June 19, 2008, 11:08:05 am »
The people at work who abuse the kitchen.

Putting a used plate, cutlery and mug next to the sink does not constitute washing up.

You do not need to boil 2 litres of water to make one cup of tea or coffee.

You do not have to open a new tub of marg if there is one already on the go.

You may have a dutiful wife to clean up after you at home, but you don't here, so fucking clean up after you've used the kitchen you bell ends!!

I feel better now  :P
Those wonderful norks are never far from my thoughts, oh yeah!

annie

Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #48 on: June 19, 2008, 11:25:20 am »
I can't think of anything that upsets me, I guess I ought to find something :)

Andrij

  • Андрій
  • Ερασιτεχνικός μισάνθρωπος
Re: The RANT thread...
« Reply #49 on: June 19, 2008, 11:27:16 am »
I can't think of anything that upsets me, I guess I ought to find something :)

Great.  You've just spoiled the mood of a wonderfully vitriolic thread.  >:(

 :-*
;D  Andrij.  I pronounce you Complete and Utter GIT   :thumbsup: