Author Topic: With apologies to Hunter S. Thompson  (Read 1134 times)

librarian

  • Quiet please
With apologies to Hunter S. Thompson
« on: May 22, 2008, 09:08:09 pm »
A download from the recesses of my mind during the BCM600...

Quote
We were somewhere around Barmouth on the edge of Snowdonia when the sugar began to take hold.  I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded, maybe you should lead out".  And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the road was full of what looked like huge midges, all swooping and screetching and diving round our peleton which was moving at about evens with no helmets to Menai.  "Holy Jesus!  What are these goddamn animals?"

Then it was quiet again. My companion had taken her shirt off and was pouring SisGo on her chest, to facilitate the tanning process. "What the hell are you yelling about?" she muttered, staring up at the setting sun with her eyes closed and covered with wraparound Wiggle sunglasses. "Never mind," I said. "It's your turn to lead out." I hit the brakes and aimed the Thorn toward the shoulder of the highway. No point mentioning those insects, I thought. The poor woman will see them soon enough...

We had two bags of PSP, seventy-five pellets of dextrose, five sheets of high powered toilet paper, a salt shaker half full sherbert and a whole galaxy of multicolored ibuprofen, cocodamol, screamers and laughers.  Also a quart of Ribena, a quart of Lucozade, a case of gels, a pint of raw Sudocrem, and two dozen Powerbars... Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into a serious ride, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.  The only thing that really worried me was the Sudocrem. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a woman in the depths of an Sudocrem binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.