Author Topic: Befuddling Child Utterances  (Read 120353 times)

Befuddling Child Utterances
« on: April 01, 2008, 04:38:02 am »
Anders and I were out for a walk. Ahead, he saw a cat. He called to it, and it stopped for a moment, looked at him, and then went on.

A: "Well, one time it recognized me. Maybe it has indonesia."
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Elleigh

Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2008, 09:19:57 am »
My friend took her 4 year old daughter, Abbey, to the doctors as she has developed a rash.  As they were about to go out of the door Abbey turns tail and declares that she had forgotted Veronica (a furbee cat thing I had bought her).  My friend assumed she wanted Veronica for comfort so allowed her to take the toy along. 

They were called in to see the doctor, who smilled and asked what he could do for them.  Before my friend could speak, Abbey presented Veronica to the doctor and said 'My cat is poorly, it doesn't poop.  I think Veronica is constipood'

Luckily the doctor had a sense of humour, gave the cat a prentend injetion to relieve her constipootion and then treated Abbey's rash.

toekneep

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Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #2 on: April 01, 2008, 09:51:57 am »
Sorry I don't have a contribution but I am SO glad to see this thread reborn on here. It has given me loads of happy moments over there in the past.

Love that last one Elleigh.

Scott, thank Anders for his numerous contributions.

alan

Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #3 on: April 01, 2008, 09:58:35 am »
Turning the clock back 28 years to Simon aged 4...

Me  Where do get milk from?
Simon  Cows
Me   Where do get eggs from?
 Simon Chickens
Me    Where do you get bacon from?
 Simon  Out of the fridge

I still chuckle about it now ;D

Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #4 on: April 01, 2008, 03:14:14 pm »
Scott, thank Anders for his numerous contributions.

 :)  He does keep things interesting. Although a few of the recent ones have been so bizarre that I hesitate to post them.  :-\
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Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #5 on: April 01, 2008, 07:32:58 pm »
Scott, thank Anders for his numerous contributions.

 :)  He does keep things interesting. Although a few of the recent ones have been so bizarre that I hesitate to post them.  :-\
Oh go on - we look forward to his pronouncements. :-*
Quote from: Kim
^ This woman knows what she's talking about.

Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #6 on: April 01, 2008, 07:39:00 pm »
Oh go on - we look forward to his pronouncements. :-*

Oh, OK.  ;)

Here's the latest one, which I put on ACF briefly, then yanked as I realized it might make people think (the internet being the way it is....) that I was some sort of weirdo...I'm not, it's just what he said...

Anders: "Dad, I love you to infinity and beyond!"
Scott: "I love you, too, buddy."
A: "Is that how far you love me?"
S: "Yes it is!"
A: <pauses to think> "What if somebody else got inside my skeleton who was my same size?"
S: <is confused; then pauses to find way to avoid "would you love somebody else better?" conversation> "Uhh...well...how would they do that?"
A: <pause; light goes on>  brightly: "They'd come up through the bottom!"

 ???  :o
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David Martin

  • Thats Dr Oi You thankyouverymuch
Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #7 on: April 01, 2008, 09:33:55 pm »
Anders and I were out for a walk. Ahead, he saw a cat. He called to it, and it stopped for a moment, looked at him, and then went on.

A: "Well, one time it recognized me. Maybe it has indonesia."

Obviously not a Siamese..

..d
"By creating we think. By living we learn" - Patrick Geddes

chris

  • (aka chris)
Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #8 on: April 02, 2008, 12:14:44 pm »
Lewis when about 4 years old went with his grandparents to the local Wacky Warehouse ( http://www.wackywarehouse.co.uk/). When he got back he told me that Grandad had taken him to the Wacky Whorehouse :o.

David Martin

  • Thats Dr Oi You thankyouverymuch
Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #9 on: April 02, 2008, 11:24:29 pm »
My wife was looking at soem exercise books and DVDs on Amazon. Daughter, age 11 who should know better, misread the title.

"why does mum what a book about 'Pirates for Dummies'?"

Exercises are now referred to as Pirates in this household...
"By creating we think. By living we learn" - Patrick Geddes

Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #10 on: April 03, 2008, 12:00:53 am »
Anders, about to throw his paper airplane, just shouted "Arrow diaper-rash forest-burner!!!"
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tiermat

  • According to Jane, I'm a Unisex SpaceAdmin
Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #11 on: April 03, 2008, 12:18:07 pm »
Not really befuddling, but made me smile, just got this email from Mrs T:
<Note Mrs T is at home today preparing the kitchen ready for painting, and is listening to music served up as random playlists from our Mythtv box>
was playing the music and something "thrash metal" like came on............ i fast fwd it and Izzie pipes up "Mummy why did you turn that off?" I said "Because i didn't like it" to which izz replies " Well i liked it mummy, put it back on please............" needless to say it hasn't gone back on!!
I feel like Captain Kirk, on a brand new planet every day, a little like King Kong on top of the Empire State

Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #12 on: April 07, 2008, 04:45:50 pm »
Yesterday we were out for a walk/birding trip with Anders at a natural area near Richmond (no, not that Richmond, our Richmond), and we saw some golden-crowned kinglets. We were joking with Anders and calling him the "blonde-crowned kinglet." He said "Dad, you're the black-and-silver crowned kinglet."  :-\
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PaulF

  • "World's Scariest Barman"
  • It's only impossible if you stop to think about it
Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #13 on: April 10, 2008, 07:28:30 pm »
When asked what fire is for my son replied "for keeping warm and burning down houses"

Words shall be had with the nursery

Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #14 on: April 10, 2008, 07:48:53 pm »
Yeah, we've had few surprises like that, too. "Where in the world did you hear that?!?"  :)
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Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #15 on: April 11, 2008, 10:14:55 pm »
Recent befuddling utterance "Daddy, more lettuce please" from a 2 year old who
thinks anything green is decoration rather food (snot excepted natch).

This is from the same kid who commented that I was wearing my "bike knees" when he saw me in cycle shorts recently...

Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #16 on: April 11, 2008, 10:28:26 pm »
lettuce frequently  *is* a decoration when you're 2...  :-\
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PaulF

  • "World's Scariest Barman"
  • It's only impossible if you stop to think about it
Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #17 on: April 12, 2008, 08:00:14 am »
"Let's play superheroes, I'll be Superman and you can be stuck in a cave then I'll come and rescue you"

So I got in the cave (under the dining room table) and called for help

"Oh no!" says my son "You're really trapped. I can't help you. You'll have to stay there forever"

Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #18 on: April 13, 2008, 11:54:40 pm »
I have no idea where this came from:

Anders: "Dad--when poor people and rich people meet, and poor people go where rich people roam, then if the poor people pick a dandelion, the rich people get mad at them. It's just a dandelion! Or a cool rock."
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Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #19 on: April 14, 2008, 11:15:40 am »
Anders should have column in the Guardian!

tiermat

  • According to Jane, I'm a Unisex SpaceAdmin
Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #20 on: April 14, 2008, 11:17:21 am »
Whilst testing out the new child seat on the bike:

"Ride down that hill now daddy"
"no, I don't think so"
"Why not, it'll be fun"
"Because daddy will have to then ride back up it, dragging your weight with him"
"Oh well maybe next time we can?"
I feel like Captain Kirk, on a brand new planet every day, a little like King Kong on top of the Empire State

Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #21 on: April 15, 2008, 05:00:35 am »
Anders's question of the day:

"Dad--how did everything happen in the past?"

Ummm....where do I start?!?
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Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #22 on: April 15, 2008, 05:01:11 am »
Anders should have column in the Guardian!

He keenly feels any injustice, especially those involving cool rocks.
scottclark.photoshelter.com

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #23 on: April 15, 2008, 06:33:42 pm »
Anders's question of the day:

"Dad--how did everything happen in the past?"

Ummm....where do I start?!?


You did explain, I hope...
Getting there...

Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #24 on: April 15, 2008, 06:36:33 pm »
Anders's question of the day:

"Dad--how did everything happen in the past?"

Ummm....where do I start?!?


You did explain, I hope...

Explain?!? I'm still writing the preface....
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