Author Topic: Overheard today  (Read 61824 times)

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #475 on: July 15, 2019, 06:34:15 am »
Bit of a rant this one.

Overheard at my recent NHS MRI scan....

NHS Admin worker on the phone: "Hi Sue*, this is the MRI unit. You missed your appointment after we confirmed yesterday that you were going to attend. Can I ask why."

Reply from the other end.

NHS Admin worker: "Thanks Sue. I am sorry but: "couldn't be bothered to get up" isn't an acceptable reason for missing an appointment and as this is the third time you have failed to attend, I am going to cancel your referral and return your case to your doctor. They will have to make other arrangements as we can't keep wasting appointment slots on you."

Must admit I thought the admin worker was quite right. People should not take the mickey out of our NHS. Indeed, they should treasure it while we still have a free at the point of use service.

Cats to the left of me, cats to the right of me, cats sitting on my keyboard making far more sense than I do.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #476 on: July 29, 2019, 03:01:39 pm »
Walking past the women smoking outside the nursery grounds I caught this discussion...

Woman 1: Yeah, there's halal on the menu.
Woman 2: Halal? What's that?
Woman 1: I think it's like then they cross lamb with sheep.
Woman 2: Ugh, that's disgusting. I wouldn't make my kids eat that.
!nataS pihsroW

Gattopardo

  • Lord of the sith
  • Overseaing the building of the death star
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #477 on: July 29, 2019, 06:27:00 pm »
Middle aged man and teenage girl waiting for the lift to arrive.

Man in resigned voice "You'll have to take them back, there's no point in having an expensive pair of netball shoes that you can't wear because they don't fit"

Girl in optimistic voice "They half fit"

Shoe logic.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #478 on: August 19, 2019, 07:18:04 pm »
Said to me on Saturday by an oldish lady, as I waited for the second half of a concert to start on Victoria Embankment:

"What kind of music is this?"
"Band music," say I, because tbh, I'm not sure.
"It's not jazz is it?"
"Nope."
"Thank god," she says before taking a seat, "jazz is just wrong."

Thing is, I couldn't agree more. Remember kids, jazz is wrong.
!nataS pihsroW

TheLurker

  • Goes well with magnolia.
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #479 on: August 19, 2019, 07:48:30 pm »
In a Waitrose cafe at lunchtime.
Man to baby strapped into pushchair. "Wait there.  I'll be back in a minute."
Τα πιο όμορφα ταξίδια γίνονται με τις δικές μας δυνάμεις - Φίλοι του Ποδήλατου

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #480 on: August 20, 2019, 12:00:30 am »
Said to me on Saturday by an oldish lady, as I waited for the second half of a concert to start on Victoria Embankment:

"What kind of music is this?"
"Band music," say I, because tbh, I'm not sure.
"It's not jazz is it?"
"Nope."
"Thank god," she says before taking a seat, "jazz is just wrong."

Thing is, I couldn't agree more. Remember kids, jazz is wrong.
There’s jazz and there’s, well, Jazz. Trad is good, that stuff John Coltrane ‘plays’ is somewhat strange.
Sorting my life out, one shed at a time.

Steph

  • Fast. Fast and bulbous. But fluffy.
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #481 on: August 20, 2019, 06:08:31 am »
Nice!
Mae angen arnaf i byw, a fe fydda'i

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #482 on: August 20, 2019, 09:05:51 am »
All jazz is wrong. Apart from the printed literature, of course.
!nataS pihsroW

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #483 on: August 20, 2019, 10:47:04 am »
Fan of modern jazz. To me jazz represents the human condition very well, by striving so hard for perfection and yet so obviously failing  ;D

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #484 on: August 20, 2019, 11:07:39 am »
I like trad. Can't stand the tinkle-plonk piano variety.

German chum has a band: he pronounces it "yats" or "jezz" by turns.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Tim Hall

  • I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #485 on: August 20, 2019, 12:20:33 pm »
All jazz is wrong. Apart from the printed literature, of course.
"jazz apples" make me feel slightly uncomfortable. Wash before eating seems good advice.
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #486 on: August 26, 2019, 08:17:41 pm »
Dad: "...and you need to keep pedalling all the time."
Small Boy: "So you can't freewheel?"
A cup of tea is the perfect bridge between real life and cake.

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #487 on: September 16, 2019, 08:04:11 am »
Overheard from a 'party' punting on the river. One member of the party trails her fingers in the river:

<shrieks>"That's wet, wet, wet. I'm ruined!"

Ah, yes, the river water, that you are floating on, is wet.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #488 on: September 16, 2019, 08:32:02 am »
She was trying to hold back the river?
A cup of tea is the perfect bridge between real life and cake.

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #489 on: September 16, 2019, 06:44:16 pm »
 Could have been worse, could have been elo ;D
the slower you go the more you see

Cudzoziemiec

  • Solar powered, tea fuelled cycle-wol
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #490 on: September 16, 2019, 07:04:45 pm »
That could have made her Heath Robinson's aunt!
A cup of tea is the perfect bridge between real life and cake.

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #491 on: September 16, 2019, 07:40:18 pm »
Said to me on Saturday by an oldish lady, as I waited for the second half of a concert to start on Victoria Embankment:

"What kind of music is this?"
"Band music," say I, because tbh, I'm not sure.
"It's not jazz is it?"
"Nope."
"Thank god," she says before taking a seat, "jazz is just wrong."

Thing is, I couldn't agree more. Remember kids, jazz is wrong.
There’s jazz and there’s, well, Jazz. Trad is good, that stuff John Coltrane ‘plays’ is somewhat strange.

Flirt with me don't keep hurtin' me
Don't cause me pain
Be my lover don't play no game
Just play me John Coltraine

Righteously - Lucinda Williams
I think you'll find it's a bit more complicated than that.

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #492 on: September 17, 2019, 05:40:29 pm »
"I'm a bit of a neophyte in this area."
"What is a neophyte? Is that like a newbie or something? Why do people have to start inventing words, why can't they use normal words?"

(I was the first speaker)
Give me strength to survive, please.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #493 on: October 18, 2019, 07:40:40 pm »
"A timer?  No, my toaster doesn't have a timer.  It just pops up when it's done"

 ???   :facepalm:
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #494 on: October 18, 2019, 08:25:53 pm »
Fancy Dualit toasters have a timer. You turn a knob graduated in minutes and it slowly unwinds until it stops. Whilst it's turning the heater elements are on. There's a mechanical lever to lift/lower the toast/bread.
Rust never sleeps

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #495 on: October 18, 2019, 08:39:53 pm »
"A timer?  No, my toaster doesn't have a timer.  It just pops up when it's done"

 ???   :facepalm:

To be fair to the overhearee, some fancy toasters purport to detect how toasted your bread is, thereby giving credence to such a theory.

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #496 on: October 18, 2019, 08:40:48 pm »
Wot I have learned today.
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #497 on: October 18, 2019, 08:43:32 pm »
Most toasters have a timer, it's just usually implemented with either  a) the now legendary bimetallic strip you read about in 80s "how things work" books  or  b) the ubiquitous 8-pin no-name microcontroller that means it's hardly worth writing their modern equivalents.

Some posh ones try to measure the albedo of the bread.  I've no idea if this actually works.

Cheap ones have an open-loop control system whereby they apply heat until the Toast Alarm causes the nearest PSO to pound the eject button before grabbing the nearest teatowel for an impromptu morris dancing session, then scraping excess carbon into the overflowing bin with a butterknife to taste.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: Overheard today
« Reply #498 on: October 18, 2019, 08:53:40 pm »
Kim.  You've just perfectly described my breakfast routine.    :)
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

Re: Overheard today
« Reply #499 on: October 18, 2019, 11:06:31 pm »
You keep a PSO for impromptu Morris dancing in the morning?