Author Topic: War on Toner Cartridges  (Read 1685 times)


  • Quiet please
War on Toner Cartridges
« on: November 03, 2010, 10:35:19 pm »
Toner can be explosive itself.  No need for any fancy plastic explosive, just create a toner-air mixture at the correct proportions, and detonate that.

Or flour. Ergo, we should ban sandwiches, in case the evil Binladenauts somehow invent a pair of techno-tweezers that can disassemble a cheese sandwich back to its individual flour molecules, then evenly distribute those molecules into the correct air-flour mixture for a supersized explosion. Before you can say 'Holy Jihad Batman, I think I've been radicalised by YouTube', it'll be raining broken airliners like it's a wet Wednesday afternoon in Macclesfield.

So, I demand now, with immediate effect that the Government raise the terror alert to underpant-trouble brown and ban all unaccompanied sandwiches on flights. Passengers should be encouraged to report all sandwiches. Especially those made from brown bread. We should also make people stand in line longer. If they have to wait long enough, they'll probably give in to their hunger and eat the damn sandwich.

And it gets worse. Know what I saw in EAT in Heathrow terminal five? A falafel wrap. Yes, falafel. The Muslim Terror Snack. Available in an airport and wrapped in a dangerous flour-based product. A friend of mine was already radicalised by a donner kebab, for heaven's sake, and they're selling falafel in airports. What next, tabouleh in the in-flight meal?