Last year this was the kick-off for my RRTY. I didn't win last year, it didn't even middle-field. I came last. Resoundingly, completely and and utterly last. Most of the leftover soup had already been frozen for use this year
. This year I was
not going to come last. Although I'd heard that when I entered the ride phil had booked the scout hut for two days.
Got there just in time, considering the fog patches and my late night before. Three hours sleep. However this time I didn't get lost in Wantage. I planned for that. I went a different way.
Just in time meant: hug boab, meet Chris S, dash to the Scout hut to interrupt Iddu's photo, get my card (what a shame there were so many DNSs), avoid MattC's leaflets
and set off. Except as I reached down for my water bottle it wasn't there. Back to the car. Note: if you put your water bottles in a safe position that keeps them upright in the car, they will be mostly hidden.
Set off 10 mins late.
Play leapfrog with Blue Black Red until 1st control. I think it was mostly Red that was having problems, but Blue and Black waited patiently for him. It was a great 70k, done at an average of 19.6, which for me is fast. I declined MattC's offer of a 'shortcut' via a 'secret lane' and followed the proper route.
Into a headwind, that got stronger, along with a hill, that got stronger. It was a nicer route than last year from Bicester, but it was still mostly uphill. I think phil d should see if M C Escher could help with routing. Three downhill legs with a tailwind would be just perfect.
I knew I wasn't last as I dropped, drained from the uphill headwind drag, into my chair at Chippy Norton. Ordered food and the last rider (AJB) came in. We had a brief conversation, between mouthfulls, and I set off first, full of confidence and brio.
Until AJB overtook me with gusto. My chakras were damaged beyond repair, my buttocks were displaying thin-pad syndrome and some silly tit had taken my Ibroprufen out of my rack-pack and put it into my grab bag. Which was in the car.
That last 50km were the worst 50m I've done yet on any ride.
There was a lovely tailwind. There were great sights to look at - mostly Didcot Power Station and some not insignificant firework displays. I'd done the route before (some parts multiple times). It wasn't cold or wet. I was fed and watered. However, nothing was right.
Even at 30km I was thinking that I'd throw this ****ing bike into a ****ing hedge and book into a pub/hotel. In fact I'd be happy to walk 5 miles to a ****ing pub or hotel. In the past after every bad bit of Audax there's been a good bit. No good bits came. Just pain, aggravation and pain, followed by pain.
Cholsey Hill was a blessed relief as, finally, I could say bollocks to my conscience and walk. I even considered stopping at the Car Park and collecting my car on the way to the finish. (500m to go).
So, I was last, again. 30 mins slower than last year.
Mr and Mrs phil d and their helpers and Mattc (who did stay behind, but didn't give me a leaflet
) were outstanding as ever, and on my drive home and during the log painful drag upstairs I vowed not to come last next year.
Next year I won't come last.
Promise.