Author Topic: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG  (Read 56863 times)

LEE

BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
« on: January 22, 2013, 09:05:22 am »
A place for news that really isn't news, as heard or seen on the media today.

BONG.....It's Snowing.

No shit Sherlock... it's f***ing January.

When it snows in July.....That's NEWS! 

I don't need to see any more BBC, license-fee funded, reporters stood in Doncaster high street to help me visualise what Doncaster high street looks like when it's snowing.

BONG....The snow in Doncaster is 1" deep

Snow so deep that it only results in the pavement being a bit slippy is not news.

If a BBC reporter can get there...it can't be that serious.

Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
« Reply #1 on: January 22, 2013, 09:07:00 am »
'Soldiers kill people'  ::-)
Quote from: Kim
^ This woman knows what she's talking about.

tiermat

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Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
« Reply #2 on: January 22, 2013, 09:20:28 am »
I have noticed a disturbing trend for non-news recently.

As above, "It's snowing", "Expect snow".

Also as above "Soldiers kill people"

Add to it "NRA say guns are safe" (REALLY? How so?)

"MigrationWatch say that we are doomed to be invaded by Foreign Hordes" (So how is this different from the rest of our history?)

"Royal Family upset at Harry" (Who gives a fuck?)
I feel like Captain Kirk, on a brand new planet every day, a little like King Kong on top of the Empire State

Wowbagger

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Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
« Reply #3 on: January 22, 2013, 03:54:43 pm »
Yesterday our local rag blared out the total lie "

SOUTH EAST ESSEX HIT BY BLIZZARD

The deepest snow I saw was almost 4" deep and there was virtually no wind. Every definition of a blizzard I have ever seen involves strong winds.
Homo sapiens - a creature so intelligent it knowingly sowed the seeds of its own destruction and did nothing about it.

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
« Reply #4 on: January 22, 2013, 03:58:57 pm »
Quote from: NOAA
Blizzard
    (abbrev. BLZD)- A blizzard means that the following conditions are expected to prevail for a period of 3 hours or longer:

        Sustained wind or frequent gusts to 35 miles an hour or greater; and
        Considerable falling and/or blowing snow (i.e., reducing visibility frequently to less than ¼ mile)

National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration
Getting there...

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
« Reply #5 on: January 22, 2013, 04:02:08 pm »
Then again, there are other sorts of Blizzard
Getting there...

Euan Uzami

Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
« Reply #6 on: January 22, 2013, 04:04:56 pm »
So-and-so politician is going to say...

Just wait till he actually says it!


Andrij

  • Андрій
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Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
« Reply #7 on: January 22, 2013, 04:09:44 pm »
So-and-so politician is going to say...

Just wait till he actually says it!

Typical 'news' day...
     Morning:  "Today, X will say Y.
     Afternoon:  "At this very moment, X is saying Y.
     Evening:  "Earlier today, X said Y.
 ::-)
;D  Andrij.  I pronounce you Complete and Utter GIT   :thumbsup:

mattc

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Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
« Reply #8 on: January 22, 2013, 07:03:26 pm »
Fundamentally, we don't need 24h news. And we don't really need morning+afternoon+evening news.

Except for a very few days a year when something momentous and rapidly evolving happens. I suspect 9/11 was a big driver for 24h news channels.

Once media outlets have these slots, they need to fill them with crap. So we get the crap described by previous posters.

(I like Charlie Brooker's rant about the weather 'forecast' - which he rightly observes is so often a description of the day so far, NOT A FORECAST AT ALL!!! )
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

Andrij

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Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
« Reply #9 on: January 22, 2013, 07:23:41 pm »
24hr news would be OK if it wasn't mostly the same half dozen stories repeated.  There's a whole world out there with stuff going on!
;D  Andrij.  I pronounce you Complete and Utter GIT   :thumbsup:

Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
« Reply #10 on: January 22, 2013, 07:33:55 pm »
24 hour news started (on the radio at least) with the first Gulf War.  Radio 4 long wave went onto a rolling news service.
The then MrsC loved it.  It was driving me up the wall by about day three.  These days I find the Radio 3 summaries, plus the net, all that I need.  But we do have the Today prog on in the morning as the current MrsC loves that.
"No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everybody on the couch."

LEE

Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
« Reply #11 on: February 06, 2013, 10:07:15 am »
BONG!

Dyson has invented a tap that also dries your hands.

BONG!  Not News.

Pingu

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Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
« Reply #12 on: February 06, 2013, 10:42:40 am »

Toady

Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
« Reply #13 on: February 06, 2013, 10:52:14 am »
BONG!

World's longest cat dies


Yawn.  Not news.

Hang on a minute.  Longest cat, you say?  Dead?   I need to have  alook at this....

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
« Reply #14 on: February 06, 2013, 05:34:19 pm »

Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
« Reply #15 on: February 06, 2013, 07:35:07 pm »
(I like Charlie Brooker's rant about the weather 'forecast' - which he rightly observes is so often a description of the day so far, NOT A FORECAST AT ALL!!! )

Yes, I've noticed that. Furthermore, if you can summon up the strength to listen to the second half, it still doesn't tell you anything!!!!!!![

Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
« Reply #16 on: February 06, 2013, 08:41:07 pm »
These days I find the Radio 3 summaries, plus the net, all that I need. 
Yes, I like the music:news ratio on Radio 3.  It was even better the day Patricia Hughes couldn't find the bulletin at 7 am, so she played some extra music instead.  Then, at 8 am, she announced, as usual, "Here is the news, read by Patricia Hughes", then added, to the bafflement of the newly awoken, "A gremlin had put it in the waste-paper basket."

Tried to find a clip of that, and failed: 'twas long ago.  But I did find another Patricia Hughes story, told by herself.  If you can take 3 minutes out of the rolling news, it's worth it just to hear that impeccably BBC voice say the words "diaphanous negligee".

Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
« Reply #17 on: February 07, 2013, 07:56:15 pm »
HMV store in Swindon NOT to close.   Not that anyone ever suggested it might have been earmarked.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10213293.HMV_to_stay_open_in_Swindon/
Never tell me the odds.


Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
« Reply #19 on: February 07, 2013, 08:37:58 pm »
Having picked as a business partner someone with an even more tenuous connection to truth than the average politician, claiming that she didn't check his CV, & 'took him on trust'.  :facepalm:
"A woman on a bicycle has all the world before her where to choose; she can go where she will, no man hindering." The Type-Writer Girl, 1897

85 year old German retires
« Reply #20 on: February 11, 2013, 01:13:09 pm »
Really!
"A woman on a bicycle has all the world before her where to choose; she can go where she will, no man hindering." The Type-Writer Girl, 1897

Regulator

  • Got a thing for rubber...
Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
« Reply #21 on: February 12, 2013, 07:46:50 am »
Quote from: NOAA
Blizzard
    (abbrev. BLZD)- A blizzard means that the following conditions are expected to prevail for a period of 3 hours or longer:

        Sustained wind or frequent gusts to 35 miles an hour or greater; and
        Considerable falling and/or blowing snow (i.e., reducing visibility frequently to less than ¼ mile)

National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration

What's wrong with using the Met Office definition?

Quote
The simultaneous occurrence of moderate or heavy snowfall with winds of at least force 7, causing drifting snow and reduction of visibility to 200 m or less.

None of the Yank nonsense, TYVM.



 ;D
Quote from: clarion
I completely agree with Reg.

Andrij

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Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
« Reply #22 on: February 12, 2013, 09:06:06 am »
Especially as the UK couldn't handle a Yank level blizzard. ;)

While yesterday's papers were talking about disruptions due to a few inches of snow, across the pond the weekend's snowfall was being measured in feet.  And life carried on.
;D  Andrij.  I pronounce you Complete and Utter GIT   :thumbsup:

Rhys W

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Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
« Reply #23 on: February 12, 2013, 09:08:32 am »
Old man retires... BONG!

LEE

Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
« Reply #24 on: February 12, 2013, 09:13:18 am »
HMV store in Swindon NOT to close. 

This is perfect Not News, when you get to hear about something that (a) isn't that interesting in the first place and (b) is about something NOT happening.

Surely the Swindon Advertiser must be a huge tome if it prints stories about all the things that potentially could happen...but didn't happen.

"Bong - Swindon was once again not invaded by North Korea.  Local residents say this is becoming a regular occurrence"