Audax/cycling euphemisms

[The French Tandem]

'Mudguards' is itself a euphemism.

'pooguards' would be better?

Not in the audax universe, but when a criterium organizer states "the course is selective", you should understand "we expect over 80%  DNF due to crashes or bad potholes".

[Ningishzidda]

9.3 Any kind of cycle may be ridden.

[Ningishzidda]

9.3 Any kind of cycle may be ridden.

That’s not a euphemism. It’s not even a ‘rule’. It’s a CHALLENGE.

[Lars]

"Route goes through very attractive lanes"

means

after the ride your back, neck, hands, butt, feet etc will be so sore
your frustration will almost want you to throw away the bike. If you
get back of course as chance is you'll run out of spare tubes and
patches half-way.

[caerau]

   I thought this thread would be fun, I am pleased not to be disappointed 

[Salvatore]

"I'll carry on slowly. You'll catch me up soon." = "I find your company so tedious that I'm going to put all my energy into going so fast that you'll never catch me in a month of Sundays."

[rob]

Apart from the first night you can do the whole of PBP in daylight......

[rob]

Apart from the first night you can do the whole of PBP in daylight......

Not really a euphemism I know but something I was told lots.

[Charlie Boy]

'This stage is for people who know how to pace themselves' (K&SW description).

i.e. it's uphill for 80k with no respite whatsoever.

[CrazyEnglishTriathlete]

'sit back and enjoy the scenery' (Cambrian 4D)

[LEE]

Apart from the first night you can do the whole of PBP in daylight......

Poole - Bournemouth - Poole

[contango]

Apart from the first night you can do the whole of PBP in daylight......

Poole - Bournemouth - Poole

or Putney-Barnes-Putney

That route is shorter and less hilly

[thing1]

"From what I remember, that was a good ride" == "I spent the majority of it, and all of the final stage, wishing the damn thing would just end. But the Audax Men in Black were waiting for me it the Arrivée"

[bikey-mikey]

Apart from the first night you can do the whole of PBP in daylight......

Poole - Bournemouth - Poole

or Putney-Barnes-Putney

That route is shorter and less hilly

Pub - Bar - Pub

The sort of ride that leaves you crawling

[arabella]

"I'll carry on slowly. You'll catch me up soon." = "I find your company so tedious that I'm going to put all my energy into going so fast that you'll never catch me in a month of Sundays."

oops.  what it means when I say it is 'I know I go slower than you would usually go, so if I go on ahead you will have a chance to stretch your legs before catching me again'.


I don't think anyone has yet covered "it's not that far"  =  for you, it's a l-o-o-o-o-ng way

[Manotea]

"If I can do it anybody can "

This is a hard one to translate as it has many nuances, however, 'but I am as a god whilst you are a worm' is the most common. Whichever way it goes, accepting the invitation will probably involve also accepting extended periods of suffering, as you have embarked on an outing which is more rite of passage than bike ride, and afterwards you will find yourself saying, "It wasn't too bad, after all, if I can do it...".

See also, "how hard can it be".

[Jaded]

"Do not Descend!!!" An instruction you will miss.

[mrcharly-YHT]

It was a bit damp = it pissed it down relentlessly and only the weight of our soggy jerseys kept us from floating away.

[Ningishzidda]

A pleasant sunny day = we could feel the heat rising off the tarmac as our tyres squelched over it.
Diverse wildlife = someone saw a mountain lion.
'Eat at the controls ONLY' = Bears can smell sandwiches from 1 mile away.
'It is advisable to rehydrate frequently' = Its gonna be freekin hot.

[Hillbilly]

"select group" = one

It was a select group that got back to the arrivee in less than 8 hours

[Camrider]

A flat ride in the fens = you are going to ride into a strong cold northerly headwind for 100km and when you get to the turn, the wind will drop, then swing round to the south.

[marcusjb]

Early season warm-up - "bring your skis"

Easy winter route ideal for RRtYers - "I am just going outside and may be some time."

[Lars]

"Some people we encountered on-route looked at us in bemusement and asked what we were up to biking through <any_town> at 1am"

means

"We were chased by a rowdy mob of royally drunk fine young locals throwing beer cans and other objects at us and we barely got away
after launching a Cavendish-ish sprint".

[Hillbilly]

"concentrate on the route sheet" = lots of people get lost at this bit and, despite feedback, the organiser can't be bothered making the route description any clearer.

I got lost in the back roads near Taunton Deane services, despite concentrating on the route sheet

[Hillbilly]

"easy to miss" = you will ride past it and need to retrace

Sharp R halfway down long steep descent (easy to miss)