Author Topic: The Chief Defect Of Henry King  (Read 1350 times)

HTFB

  • The Monkey and the Plywood Violin
The Chief Defect Of Henry King
« on: November 08, 2013, 10:20:54 pm »
Ooops. The Pre-Newtonian Mog had until this afternoon a toy made from a length of parcel string, with a monkey's fist at the end, which made a fairly good pendulum. I carelessly didn't put it away out of the reach of kittens this afternoon. She appears to have conducted quite a scientific ingestation, leaving only the knot as evidence.

How likely does the panel think it is that she'll survive?

Wowbagger

  • Dez's butler
    • Musings of a Gentleman Cyclist
Re: The Chief Defect Of Henry King
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2013, 10:58:21 pm »
Don't know. If the string appear at the other end, DO NOT PULL IT OUT! This will ravel the guts up into a ball. Instead, every time a length appears, cut it off to stop it being played with. This may well require superhuman vigilance on your part.

Have you consulted Physician of the utmost fame?
Eating's a serious business. Don't bollocks around wagging your tail.

HTFB

  • The Monkey and the Plywood Violin
Re: The Chief Defect Of Henry King
« Reply #2 on: November 11, 2013, 03:43:24 pm »
The physicians prescribed liquid paraffin, without, so far, any obvious effect. Good job this year's fireworks are over, or she'd be an explosion risk.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: The Chief Defect Of Henry King
« Reply #3 on: November 11, 2013, 03:49:08 pm »
A cat used to eat elastic bands.

A cat exiting from the litter tray with a string of sausages attached required catching, then the application of rubber gloves. Oh, and there were a few skid marks to clean up.  :-X

We picked up loose elastic bands after that episode.
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

caerau

  • SR x 3 - PBP fail but 1090 km - hey - not too bad
Re: The Chief Defect Of Henry King
« Reply #4 on: November 11, 2013, 04:07:37 pm »
Our Missie will quite happily wander the house with large Missie-derived turds dangling from her rear end fur.  No need for laccy bands for the long-haired variety of cats.  The other half has taken to giving her a braziliian every now and then when the annoyance level tips her over the edge.
It's a reverse Elvis thing.

HTFB

  • The Monkey and the Plywood Violin
Re: The Chief Defect Of Henry King
« Reply #5 on: November 28, 2013, 08:40:31 pm »
The ultimate fate of that string is a mystery. I went through every turd for a fortnight---once she'd got over her reluctance to going back to using the litter tray, which meant at first my politely leaving the flat to save her blushes, can you believe it, is it the feline psychologist I am now?---and found no fibres other than cat hair. Eventually, and when she had mournfully given up any hope of seeing the garden again, the vet declared that she had probably got past the danger of strangling herself with her own intestine, or whatever, and she's been let back outside to shit it where she will.

One joyful result of all this spiritual oppression we've put her through is that she swallowed her worming pill today with almost no fuss at all.

Wowbagger

  • Dez's butler
    • Musings of a Gentleman Cyclist
Re: The Chief Defect Of Henry King
« Reply #6 on: November 28, 2013, 09:11:58 pm »
A dog we owned in the 1970s swallowed a 50p coin - when they were a lot bigger than they are today. My father took him out every day with a stick to poke through the turds so that he could retrieve it. 11 days after swallowing it, the dog vomited it back up again. The 50p had become a very interesting shade of yellow as a result of the action of the acid in the dog's stomach.
Eating's a serious business. Don't bollocks around wagging your tail.

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: The Chief Defect Of Henry King
« Reply #7 on: November 28, 2013, 09:31:12 pm »
A dog we owned in the 1970s swallowed a 50p coin - when they were a lot bigger than they are today. My father took him out every day with a stick to poke through the turds so that he could retrieve it. 11 days after swallowing it, the dog vomited it back up again. The 50p had become a very interesting shade of yellow as a result of the action of the acid in the dog's stomach.

Maybe you should have rechristened the dog Brunel.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

HTFB

  • The Monkey and the Plywood Violin
Re: The Chief Defect Of Henry King
« Reply #8 on: December 16, 2013, 09:16:29 pm »
Being pre-Newtonian might mean a cat has a poor understanding of velocity, momentum, and the consequences of collisions.

In any case, it was a bad time of year for her to try extending her range across the main road which for the last eighteen months she had always avoided. It is wet and dark; she had a reflective collar on, but she was a very black cat.

I am rather insensitively wondering whether the vet would do an autopsy just to find out what happened to the string.

Pingu

  • Put away those fiery biscuits!
  • Mrs Pingu's domestique
    • the Igloo
Re: The Chief Defect Of Henry King
« Reply #9 on: December 16, 2013, 09:25:43 pm »
 :(

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: The Chief Defect Of Henry King
« Reply #10 on: December 16, 2013, 09:33:34 pm »
 :'(
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Wowbagger

  • Dez's butler
    • Musings of a Gentleman Cyclist
Re: The Chief Defect Of Henry King
« Reply #11 on: December 16, 2013, 09:34:59 pm »
That's sad, HTFB.
Eating's a serious business. Don't bollocks around wagging your tail.

Mrs Pingu

  • Who ate all the pies? Me
    • Twitter
Re: The Chief Defect Of Henry King
« Reply #12 on: December 16, 2013, 10:00:42 pm »
Oh poo :(
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.