Author Topic: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows  (Read 17539 times)

Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« on: January 11, 2014, 12:35:03 pm »
He's very rude.  He put the phone down on me after ten minutes.   

Hope I wasted enough of his time to spare a potential victim.

Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2014, 01:42:45 pm »
Playing with them is fun isn't it :D

Dibdib

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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2014, 01:53:09 pm »
I usually only manage a couple of minutes of "which computer?" and "which version of windows?" before getting bored and hanging up.

Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2014, 02:21:06 pm »
Not been fortunate enough to get any of these. I'd have some fun with them :)

I do have fun with the SEO chaps that keep calling me.
They're all very black hat. I'm always courteous and polite and ask them to send me an email with their proposal after the conversation. They NEVER do.
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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #4 on: January 15, 2014, 08:00:30 pm »
I used to play with them, but don't bother now. I just ask how the scam works: even so, it usually takes the caller a while to realise what's happening.

Rhys W

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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #5 on: January 17, 2014, 12:35:53 am »
I played with one for about ten minutes before I gave up and told him I knew they were a bunch of scammers. He called me a very very rude word!

Woofage

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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #6 on: January 17, 2014, 09:52:56 am »
My best one lasted about 20 mins. I played the novice and I got him to give me very clear instructions because I couldn't find the IE icon. After a while he asked if I was using a Mac to which I replied "No". He eventually got his supervisor who realised I was using Linux so I ended the call. However, about a minute later he rang back but I pretended I was someone else and that he had got the wrong number.
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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #7 on: January 17, 2014, 09:57:38 am »
I don't know how you can keep cool with these people.  I'd want to interrogate them.
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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #8 on: January 18, 2014, 09:45:25 am »
... He eventually got his supervisor ...

This alone emphasises just how sophisticated this scam is and thus how lucrative this scam must be.

Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #9 on: January 20, 2014, 11:44:04 am »
... He eventually got his supervisor ...

This alone emphasises just how sophisticated this scam is and thus how lucrative this scam must be.

Does it? All it shows is that there are two people in the same room. (And perhaps, in this case, that the second one was a little bit brighter than the first.)

Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2014, 07:09:41 pm »
I usually deal with by the "we have several computers - what is the IP address of the one with the problem?"
Most ring off straight away, some don't.
Occasionally I can resort to - "oh you don't know, let's see if we can help narrow it down, is it one the computers upstairs or one of the computers downstairs?"   then "is it a laptop or a desktop ?"   followed by "black one or the white one ?"

Or, if I'm feeling really silly "is it the zx81 or the Atari ?" 

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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #11 on: January 22, 2014, 03:08:31 pm »
I usually deal with by the "we have several computers - what is the IP address of the one with the problem?"
Most ring off straight away, some don't.
Occasionally I can resort to - "oh you don't know, let's see if we can help narrow it down, is it one the computers upstairs or one of the computers downstairs?"   then "is it a laptop or a desktop ?"   followed by "black one or the white one ?"

Or, if I'm feeling really silly "is it the zx81 or the Atari ?"

Or ask them if any of the actions they recommend will cause problems receiving communications from M.
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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #12 on: January 23, 2014, 03:04:21 pm »

I've had a few calls from people like these, and depending on whether I've got some time to while away with them I either cut them short or string them along until they give up. My record for stringing them along was just shy of 30 minutes.

One guy told me my computer had a virus, so I asked if he meant it had a cold, and then asked whether I should put some plastic sheeting down in case it sneezed and made a mess on the carpet. After going round in circles on that one for a few minutes he shifted to spyware, so I asked if the neighbours were using a telescope to watch my wife in the shower, and whether James Bond was hiding behind the door. When he said it was in the computer I commented how there wasn't much space in the computer and I didn't know how James Bond could fit inside it.

Surprisingly he still kept trying to get back to his script but after 20 minutes when he asked me to connect to the internet and I innocently read the "web site can't be found" (I disconnected the router so I could get the precise error message) and said that I went to the library to go online he just hung up.

Sometimes when I string these people along my wife has to leave the room because she's practically wetting herself laughing.

On occasion if I can't be bothered to deal with them I just say something like "I'm glad you called, I downloaded 20 gigabytes of hardcore porn and my computer hasn't been the same since" and ask whether the virus it has is an STD it caught from one of the performers.


I think my favourite line was when the guy told me to turn on the computer, and I said "Ah, Scandisk has just started, do you mind waiting" and just let him wait for 15 minutes while I got on with some other stuff. After periodic comments telling him how far it had got I reached 100% and then noticed how that was stage 1 of 5 complete, and it was just starting stage 2, and did he mind waiting a little longer. He said he'd call back, but sadly I was out when he did. I got home to four missed calls from unidentified numbers, so maybe he did actually call back thinking he had a sucker.
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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #13 on: January 23, 2014, 04:15:17 pm »
I used to switch on my server (Dual 6 core HT cpu's @ 3.9 Ghz, 24Gb ram, twin Raptors in mode 0, 2 vid cards) when I got one of these types of call.
It took about 1 minute to POST due to running a full memory check on 24Gb of ram.
Then it took about 15 mins to load Windoze, I had it make and load a 4Gb RAM drive.
And that was before I started to try and wind them up ..........  ::-)

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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #14 on: January 24, 2014, 09:10:05 am »
I've been wondering about a VM that I could allow them to connect to.  How long would they spend on it, finding the virus and the other imaginary problems?  Must have a look and see if VirtualBox will run Windows ME.

Dave

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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #15 on: January 24, 2014, 07:56:18 pm »
I went to school with Simon Watson.  At the time, his ambition was to become a professional golfist.  Good to see he's made a career for himself after all.
Getting there...

Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #16 on: February 07, 2014, 11:55:24 am »
I got a call from "Andrew Smith" from the tech support dept, I managed to string him along for about 10 minutes before I got bored & told him its a scam and I hung up, he was getting more & more irriated and kept trying to get back on script  I do love wasting their time
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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #17 on: February 07, 2014, 12:19:15 pm »
I think I annoyed them when I lead them on for 15 minutes a while ago as currently I am getting up to 4 calls a day from this bunch of idiots. Now I just say "no your not" and put the phone down when the say "I am X from ...."

I think you'll find it's a bit more complicated than that.

Rhys W

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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #18 on: February 07, 2014, 08:58:07 pm »
I've been wondering about a VM that I could allow them to connect to.  How long would they spend on it, finding the virus and the other imaginary problems? 

Er, it's not what they're after...

Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #19 on: March 10, 2014, 01:08:06 pm »
And I am still getting three calls a day on average from these idiots. You would think by now they would have realized I am not going to fall for it.
I think you'll find it's a bit more complicated than that.

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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #20 on: March 13, 2014, 07:38:55 pm »
I had a call today which I kept going for five minutes (something more interesting came on the TV).

What annoyed me was that these crims speak English more clearly than our staff in the Indian offshore office.
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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #21 on: April 09, 2014, 02:47:52 pm »

I really wanted to set up one of those £1.50/min numbers so if they really wanted to talk to me about the viruses on my computer I'd be happy to chat, happy to set up an isolated laptop or something they could play with to their hearts' content, and basically do whatever they wanted to an old knackered laptop if they wanted to pay me £90/hour for the privilege. Once they were done it wouldn't be that hard to reformat the laptop.

Sadly the rules on premium numbers appeared to explicitly prohibit stringing callers along to keep them on the phone as lone as possible.
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Woofage

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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #22 on: April 23, 2014, 01:37:52 pm »
Well, I've just got off the phone with "David". After the initial preamble etc he soon ended up calling me a scammer and told me to go f*ck myself. Shame as I was looking forward to a proper wind-up session.
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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #23 on: April 23, 2014, 02:38:20 pm »
Never mind Simon Watson, we had Mrs. Gates today. "Melinda, darlin', how you BEEN? Click."
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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #24 on: April 24, 2014, 02:17:43 pm »
It's surprising that Bill's wife needs to do that.  At least you know you're getting expert advice.  :thumbsup:
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