Author Topic: Sh!te courier thread  (Read 45455 times)

Torslanda

  • Professional Gobshite
  • Just a tart for retro kit . . .
    • John's Bikes
Re: (NOT) Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #400 on: December 24, 2018, 05:52:27 pm »
I ordered an item from a jolly well known photographic retailer on Thursday then realised that it was *officially* too late for 'next day delivery'.

Despite this, UK Mail were on the doorstep by 9.45 Saturday morning. Not specified, not paid for but delivered anyway.

Certain young gentleman will be quite pleased with his present because if it hadn't arrived on Saturday we wouldn't be able to get it until after New Year...
VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #401 on: January 02, 2019, 07:56:09 pm »
FFS!

Having sat in waiting for the delivery, I've just checked the tracking page again: "Your parcel has been returned to our depot following an attempted delivery or a problem locating the address. Please check the tracking below. Our driver will have left a card explaining what to do next where the  delivery has been attempted."

No, the driver has *not* left a card, nor have they tried to deliver. The address is not hard to find.

So, I've wasted several hours of my life and a train fare, and still have no parcel. >:(

In the end, I rescheduled this for 28th December - but it got delivered on Christmas Eve, when I was away. Fortunately no one nicked it from the communal hallway!

On the other hand, I sent a small parcel second class on the 22nd, assuming it would arrive after Christmas (which would have been fine - it was an Ebay sale and the buyer had waited a week to pay, so can't have wanted it that urgently!). Delivered on Christmas Eve too - not bad for second class really!

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #402 on: January 03, 2019, 07:19:10 pm »
Sometimes shite couriering can be a good thing.
Mrs B's fierce mercan sister-in-law ordered to us a box of decent wines for crimble.  Except it never arrived.
She must have been super fierce with the supplier because they phoned me on Monday to abjectly apologise and check our location in the village.  He then personally  drove a delivery himself from Swansea.  Just in time for our New Year do.  :thumbsup:

This evening, Yodel turned up with the original lost consignment.   :D  :thumbsup:  :thumbsup:
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #403 on: January 30, 2019, 11:00:04 pm »
Partner's sick iMac went to hospital and was fixed for a significant sum.

Despite informing hospital Tuesday was unsuitable, we had to reschedule delivery, which coincided with my appointment at Northwick Park.

Box was delivered today.

The stand has acquired a 25 degree bend in the metalwork and the computer flops, not holding its position.

There are multiple cracks in the polystyrene packaging.

Must have been dropped.

David is Not Happy.

DPD this is not good enough!

Computer hospital says they'll fix...

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #404 on: January 31, 2019, 08:47:40 am »
Ordered a drill press yesterday from Axminster Tools.  Paid nominal sum for am am delivery today.  Then I discovered that it's sodding DPD.  Who have a track record of seeing that the left-most house on our little close of 10 houses is No.1 and then counting one, two, three to get to me.  Except that their No. 3 is not No.3.  It doesn't say No. 3 on it.  And it's clearly a very old house and looks nothing like the other 8 houses all of which look similar and of the same 1990 age.  My No. 3 has 2 number plaques on it, one high up on the garage so it can clearly be seen from the road: the old house (DPD's guess at No 3) is immediately on my left as the DPD driver looks at them. 

So now I need to sit in the dining room all morning waiting to catch them.  Or at least, since it's bins day, I could leave my big green waste bin, with its huge No. 3 label, parked at the bottom of my drive.  Then, when I bellow at the DPD driver out of the window as he attempts to mis-deliver the usual "You weren't in" card, he might just wake up.  We live in hope.

EDIT:  I then had an email with a time slot for delivery, so sat in the dining room doing my music theory homework, where I could see any van arriving.  Spotted the DPD van as it arrived, so intercepted the driver before he could ignore the signs that it was my house he wanted.  Pillar drill unpacked, assembled and bolted to the bench.  Sorted.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #405 on: January 31, 2019, 08:54:23 am »
The other day DPD again left the parcels on the front step. Clearly labelled BEER STEAL ME. Fortunately, I was home. I don't know why they can't just follow the simple instruction. Or knock on the door.
!nataS pihsroW

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #406 on: February 07, 2019, 04:15:50 pm »
Yesterday I had a book delivered. Which I forgot about till half-midnight and had to go out in my jimjams to check.

Did the courier put the package in the box provided for the purpose as per the clear instructions? No, he shoved it under the back gate.

Given the torrential rain we had all yesterday evening, I retrieved a rather soggy book.
!nataS pihsroW

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #407 on: February 07, 2019, 04:36:49 pm »
Partner's sick iMac went to hospital and was fixed for a significant sum. (+extra for expedited service).
Despite informing hospital Tuesday was unsuitable, we had to reschedule delivery, which coincided with my appointment at Northwick Park.
Box was delivered today.
The stand has acquired a 25 degree bend in the metalwork and the computer flops, not holding its position.
There are multiple cracks in the polystyrene packaging.Must have been dropped.
David is Not Happy.
DPD this is not good enough!
Computer hospital says they'll fix...
dpd is still in dispute with computer hospital and trying to deny liability.
Computer hospital says they'll fix things anyway and are unhappy computer is still OOS chez nous.

In the mean time David has mentally abandoned old computer, having a SHINY new MacBook Air doing most of his work.

CAMRAMan

  • Formerly A Warwickshire Lad
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #408 on: February 07, 2019, 09:01:06 pm »
Herpes are the dried up bits of dog shit you get stuck in the soles of cleated shoes.

I handle lots of parcels from all the main couriers, and they stand out as the shittiest of them all.

We returned a parcel for someone called Mills via Herpes with a bad address. They must be keeping track of what they send to us (lots), as they stuck a new label on with a seemingly proper address. Only it was the address of another person within the organisation called Mills. This suggests they are breaching GDPR by retaining such data. The parcel was very nearly handed over to the wrong Mills. Not the first time - Herpes have form. Utter bunch of twunts.
Haggerty F, Haggerty R, Tomkins, Noble, Carrick, Robson, Crapper, Dewhurst, Macintyre, Treadmore, Davitt.

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #409 on: February 14, 2019, 02:37:33 pm »
DPD and Hermes are OK around us- at the moment, it'll no doubt change once the regular driver is shifted onto another round. Amazon Logistics on the other hand.......

Last week I popped out, when I got back, I swapped the van and car over ready for an early start the next day- but decided to check on the cats before taking the van out for fuel. Just as well as it was then I discovered the parcels tucked neatly on the van step- they had left the parcels on the rear step of my van (reverse-parked on my drive). :facepalm: They survived the swap manoevre but wouldn't have survived a trip to the fuel station- and so were merely soggy from being out in the rain as opposed to being squashed/lost. 

Yesterday I was in all day, working from home in the front bedroom. Window open so I could hear vans arriving. Heard van, picked up keys, headed downstairs as the doorbell rang. Honestly, I got to the door in under 10 seconds from doorbell ring, by which time the Owens-lorry-driver-doing-courier-work chappie was halfway down the path at the side of the house, seemingly intent on chucking the parcels over the back gate (wouldn't be the first time). I pointed out to him- somewhat grumpily I'll admit- that it's customary to wait for a few seconds after ringing the bell before going into lob it over the back gate mode.

Today, same courier (something for husband again)- he rang the bell- and waited- he looked well-sheepish when I answered the door.....

GC
 

Andrij

  • Андрій
  • Ερασιτεχνικός μισάνθρωπος
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #410 on: April 08, 2019, 12:24:04 pm »
DHL

After providing information on the movement of my item on 3 & 4 April they have given no updates whatsoever.  It is now after close of business Monday in $countryoforigin and still no update.

The next update will probably come after the item has been delivered.
;D  Andrij.  I pronounce you Complete and Utter GIT   :thumbsup:

PaulF

  • "World's Scariest Barman"
  • It's only impossible if you stop to think about it
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #411 on: April 21, 2019, 07:05:46 pm »
Amazon: a tale of 2 deliveries.

On Friday I came home to find a card saying “your package is with Patrick in the white house (no not that one!) opposite. Now Martin lives in the obvious one so it wasn’t him so I went to the one next door where the pub staff live. No Patricks here came the reply. So I tried the white house round the corner, a lot of the houses in the village are white; some new people moved in recently and I don’t know them. Perhaps it could be there? Nobody home :( In desperation I went round to Martin’s. He hadn’t received a parcel. Then his mother calls out from the back. Yes they’d left it with Renee :facepalm:

Fast forward to Saturday. My mouse dies and I need a replacement before a business trip on Monday. Great, Amazon can deliver; it might arrive on time.  Place the order. It will arrive on Tuesday! WTF! Then this morning I get a mail, “your package will be delivered today”. Great I’m out all day. Lunchtime Amazon send me a photo of an Amazon box on my back doorstep. Result!   

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #412 on: June 18, 2019, 01:17:02 pm »
Waited in all morning for a package, opened mailbox at lunchtime and found note saying "nobody home, left at relay point". General Logistic Systems Europe, you are something one would rather not have to scrape off a blanket.

Meanwhile, MrsT's SIM for her new phone promised by Chronopost for 8am-12am just arrived at 2:15 pm and I received a text from DPD saying yes we promised today but we can't make it until ...

Not happy.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

T42

  • Tea tank
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #413 on: June 18, 2019, 02:40:58 pm »
Waited in all morning for a package, opened mailbox at lunchtime and found note saying "nobody home, left at relay point". General Logistic Systems Europe, you are something one would rather not have to scrape off a blanket.

The GLS website reads:

12:30  Attempted delivery, recipient not home.   - barefaced lie. Not only were we home, we were about 5 metres from the doorbell

12:45  Parcel left at relay point. - another lie.  I drove to the relay point half an hour ago: no parcel.

GLS website has no contact link. Guess why.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!

robgul

  • HoECC & Cycle:End-to-End webmaster, S Warwickshire Bike Shop in Wellesbourne
  • . . cyclist, Cytech accredited, manages an LBS
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Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #415 on: August 16, 2019, 09:24:05 pm »
Interesting delivery at home today . . . . I bought 10 Presta valve dustcaps in RED for my bike, costing about £2.50 inc postage (don't mock - it's a red bike) which predictably were in a polybag about 15cm square (usual pre-packed Chinese stuff that's sent out from a fulfilment house in Manchester)

What was amazing was that instead of the obvious Royal Mail pop it throught the letterbox delivery an ENORMOUS truck (we live in a cul de sac and it had to make a 6 point turn it was that big) from Yodel appeared with the package ... and then my wife had to sign for it!   Madness.

Rob

Kim

  • Timelord
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Guy

  • Left-Wing Moonbat Green NAZI
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #417 on: September 11, 2019, 12:39:39 pm »
I thought this might be the appropriate place...


Quote
14:19 10 Sep
SHARED
'Delivery driver had a poo outside my house'

Sandish Shoker

BBC News

A Nottinghamshire woman had an unexpected delivery when she caught a driver defecating outside her house.

Nadine, from Gedling, said she heard a noise down the side of her house one afternoon last week and saw the man relieving himself.

"He had his pants down and was rubbing his bum on my fence post," she told BBC Radio Nottingham.

"So perhaps the culprit can be found with splinters in his bum."

DHL GV
PA MediaCopyright: PA Media
The bizarre incident left her "shocked" and speechless as the man ran off pulling up his trousers and drove off in his van.

"It was quite a big turd," she added.

"I saw the funny side of it, but you can't do that. You don't poo in somebody's alleyway."

Nadine believed the man worked for delivery firm, DHL, because of the red and yellow T-shirt he was wearing and asked them to apologise.

A spokeswoman for the firm said: "Based on the information provided, we are yet to ascertain if the individual in question is a DHL employee.

"However, we are investigating this as a matter of priority as this is clearly unacceptable."

What duck?

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #418 on: September 28, 2019, 04:44:27 pm »
Hermes!!
Delivery between 12 and 2. leave it in the shed advice entered.

We were not only in the house at 13:05 but it was not left in the shed either.. Idiots

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #419 on: September 28, 2019, 05:46:13 pm »
DX Deliveries (who have the contract for delivering passports, so you'd think they would have a certain level of competence).

They sent a text last Thursday saying delivery would be on Friday.  Waited in all day only to get another text from them at 7.05pm (coincidentally just after the office closed) saying "delivery attempted" (whatever that means) and to follow a link to re-schedule.

Several futile phone calls later the guy trundles up on Tuesday at 2.30 (not 4-8pm as agreed) and without phoning first (again as promised).  The guy looked high on crack and didn't ring the prominently positioned doorbell (as everyone else does) - just stood there looking all around him in a puzzled manner. 

Useless twats.

FifeingEejit

  • Not Small
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #420 on: October 03, 2019, 07:07:56 pm »
Hermes,

Just managed to deliver a parcel a whole street away.
Thankfully I know the current occupants of the house in that street with the same number.
Spent some time trying to find the bag of miracle grow and electric lawn mower their courier had taken a picture of it sitting on.

We have neither...
 :facepalm:

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #421 on: October 04, 2019, 08:41:13 am »
I have received three emails over the last few days stating my item will be with me today....which is nice seeing how it was delivered on Monday.

So, the question is, will "they" bring another one today and if so, should I send it back..... (the answer to the last question is yes, yes I would as, well that's what I am like).

I'll update you later....  ;D
Cats to the left of me, cats to the right of me, cats sitting on my keyboard making far more sense than I do.

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #422 on: October 04, 2019, 02:46:09 pm »
HERMES  ::-)

Ordered a pair of tyres from CRC last week.  The Hermes tracking system showed the parcel as going AWAL for a few days.

Finally turned up last night.  Thought it felt rather bulky but assumed it was unnecessary packing so signed for it.

When I opened it I was surprised to find 2 table lamps and a duvet set!  Closer inspection of the packaging showed my details on a label on one side but someone else's 20 miles away on the other (presumably the intended recipient).

Spoke to CRC and cancelled the order.  Now trying to contact Hermes to get them to collect this stuff.  Virtually impossible.  Been on hold for "live chat" for 45 minutes.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #423 on: October 04, 2019, 09:03:34 pm »
GGGRRR!!!

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #424 on: October 06, 2019, 08:24:04 am »
We have had a number of packages dropped off (in plastic bags to lessen rain damage) near our (almost always open) gate, rather than 500 feet further down our driveway at the house.

So when I ordered something this week, I used the "second address line" to say "front door please".

Apparently the UPS driver thinks the front door is about 30 feet from the road.  Whisky Tango Foxtrot