Author Topic: Sh!te courier thread  (Read 51095 times)

FifeingEejit

  • Not Small
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #425 on: October 09, 2019, 01:24:27 pm »
Hermes,

Just managed to deliver a parcel a whole street away.
Thankfully I know the current occupants of the house in that street with the same number.
Spent some time trying to find the bag of miracle grow and electric lawn mower their courier had taken a picture of it sitting on.

We have neither...
 :facepalm:

They have just managed it again today...

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #426 on: November 27, 2019, 07:41:15 pm »
Royal Fail, again from a Twitter friend in Edinburgh, who is relieved it wasn't bin day today...

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #427 on: November 27, 2019, 07:49:21 pm »
That textphone number[1] reminds me:

Honorary mention to Typetalk Textrelay NGT, who have re-re-re-branded as "Relay UK".  Because now they sound like a shite courier (or possibly a splinter group of the AA) rather than a telephony service for hearing and speech impaired people to use for starting arguments with banks and persuading large bureaucratic organisations to use email.

Clear as the mud you've just scraped off a parcel...


[1] I bet good money it isn't  a) answered  by b) a human  who c) can type.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

mattc

  • n.b. have grown beard since photo taken
    • Didcot Audaxes
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #428 on: November 27, 2019, 07:58:45 pm »
Nomination for DXDelivery - Saturday mornings a speciality.

Not only did they sneak upto our door while both of us were in, but then:
- failed to fill out the time on their card (making it harder for us to pin them down), and
- wedged the card betwixt door and door-frame! Thus avoiding the sound of the letter-box - genius!

Do they think we're stupid?!?
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #429 on: November 28, 2019, 08:52:44 am »
Amazon delivery this time. Usually they leave the parcel on the doorstep in plain view of the street rather than in the doorless bin cupboard next to it which is out of sight.

Well this one did put them out of view for once but then put the little card between front door and frame rather than through the letter box. So still obvious from the street that something was there :facepalm:
Miles cycled 2014 = 3551.5 (Target 7300 :()
Miles cycled 2013 = 6141.4
Miles cycled 2012 = 4038.1

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #430 on: November 28, 2019, 06:30:45 pm »
Quote
your scheduled delivery date has changed.
Rescheduled Delivery Date:   Friday, 29/11/2019
Estimated Delivery Time:   End of Day

Quote
your parcel has been delivered.
Delivery Date:   Thursday, 28/11/2019
Delivery Time:   16:54

That was UPS. If they weren't going to delay until Friday, why did they give me the option?
Quote from: Kim
Paging Diver300.  Diver300 to the GSM Trimphone, please...

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #431 on: December 05, 2019, 09:28:52 am »
Parcel2Go, your tracking page has been saying "ORDER PLACED" since Monday.  I therefore conclude that it is utter pish, or you are.  I WANT MY PARTHEL!!!!

(Pouts, stamps foot)
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #432 on: December 05, 2019, 02:30:40 pm »
Doesn't 'Order Placed' just mean the sender has bought the 'fare' but not yet despatched the goods?

I think I've had this with other couriers; I don't think your parcel has been received yet...

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #433 on: December 05, 2019, 02:46:47 pm »
My expected parcel is due to be delivered by Hermes. :(  Pray for me!

LittleWheelsandBig

  • Whimsy Rider
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #434 on: December 05, 2019, 08:59:41 pm »
It appears that my new derailleurs/ shifters for my Moulton have disappeared, along with the truck, somewhere near the Spanish/ French border. The supplier's email refers to bandits, which is the first time I've heard that excuse for a delayed delivery.
Wheel meet again, don't know where, don't know when...

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #435 on: December 06, 2019, 10:17:48 am »
My aforementioned is also now "in the Hermes system".  Gulp.  And if they try to put it through the letterbox they WILL break it, coz 12" vinyl doesn't bend.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #436 on: December 08, 2019, 03:43:48 am »
"On its way to the courier" 21 hours ago.  A slof could have delivered it faster than this.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #437 on: December 08, 2019, 01:14:45 pm »
We've been waiting several days for a couple of large bags of cat food via Yodel (I thought they'd died?). The most recent excuse was an 'oh dear, the van has broken down.'

I presume he's now sleeping in a Surrey hedgerow and subsisting on Science Plan.
!nataS pihsroW

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #438 on: December 09, 2019, 10:37:26 am »
Eventually got a text at 1215am this morning to say our parcel had been delivered. As it was chucking it down, I made my wife go outside in her PJs to check and it was sitting on the front step looking soggy and forlorn. No idea when it arrived, it wasn't there at 10pm when we came back from an event and no one had rung the super-new doorbell. Looked like it had been sitting there in the rain for a while (fortunately, the cat food is in sealed plastic sacks).

Odd time for a delivery, specifically as they say they don't do Sundays, and I still think Yodel went bust the other Christmas.
!nataS pihsroW

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #439 on: December 09, 2019, 10:50:15 am »
Some time yesterday parcel2go updated the tracking page for my item.  Not that it got any closer to Larrington Towers, no, but it did now add some Stuffs about "hub trailers".

Then they changed it back to what it was at 06:30 Saturday  >:(
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #440 on: December 09, 2019, 11:39:33 am »
I suspect it is the cosmos restoring balance after my order from the Big River Co. turned up several days quicker than I was expecting on Saturday afternoon. :demon:

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster.
And when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #441 on: December 09, 2019, 09:37:12 pm »
We had a great one recently where an item I shipped on a pre 10 delivery was failed delivery at exactly 10am. That made me suspicious especially as I've visited the site and you'll always find several people.

It then said that it was back at the depot. Customer collected and I kicked off with my account manager as we ship a lot and it eventually turned out the parcel had never left the depot and some idiot/bright spark clocked it as site closed while it was still there!

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #442 on: December 10, 2019, 11:38:29 am »
Oh look!

"Due to the volume of parcels in the Hermes network we have been experiencing some delays yadda yadda allow an extra few days herp derp monitor the tracking page ect and, moreover, ect"

People send lots of Stuffs in December?  Who knew?  Apart from Royal Mail, of course, who would actually employ temporary PSO-shaped staff.

Also, they don't actually tell you this on the tracking page.  No, they've hidden it on the laughably-named "Help" page.  And my parthel hasn't budged.  Again.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #443 on: December 11, 2019, 01:50:52 pm »
Parthel movement over past 24 hours: 0. Zilch. Nada.

sort it out u muppets!
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

LittleWheelsandBig

  • Whimsy Rider
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #444 on: December 11, 2019, 02:23:56 pm »
I have been asked if I want 12sp equipment to replace the purloined 11sp kit I ordered. Of course not, said I.
Wheel meet again, don't know where, don't know when...

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #445 on: December 12, 2019, 01:08:47 pm »
I am starting to think that Muhammad Saeed al-Sahhaf is in charge of updating the parcels2go tracking page.  Yes, you guessed it.  Still no movement.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime


Wowbagger

  • Dez's butler
    • Musings of a Gentleman Cyclist
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #447 on: December 12, 2019, 04:58:38 pm »
I have sent a carefully packed (in its original box) Islabike Rothan and it hasn't arrived at the appointed time. This is pissing off.
Eating's a serious business. Don't bollocks around wagging your tail.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #448 on: December 12, 2019, 05:24:31 pm »
Anyone else in the habit of adding hazardous items to orders so they automagically get upgraded to a decent courier?  A spare flux pen is bound to come in useful...
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #449 on: December 12, 2019, 09:19:06 pm »
Well, out in the sticks we must be luckier. Because my daughter( who doesn’t even live here) gets tens of parcels a day some days ( competitors products that she wants to examine, but obviously doesn’t want to use her company address). All the delivery people seem to be great. Many we know by name. The post person , and regular deliverers, know where to leave stuff, and hide stuff  imaginatively in one of the places.
They know that they are always welcome to park in our drive, and to use our loo. Obviously we show our appreciation to them generously at Christmas. In short, building the relationship works - but I guess it’s harder in areas where more people work the patch.