Author Topic: Sh!te courier thread  (Read 66733 times)

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #550 on: December 04, 2020, 09:52:50 am »
It seems Hermes are delivering my contact lenses and they were very informative. Emails, texts. It's coming. It's coming! IT'S COMING SOON!!!!

It's a box that fits through the letterbox and is designed to be, well, sent by post.
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Tim Hall

  • Victoria is my queen
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #551 on: December 04, 2020, 12:04:16 pm »
Yesterday I rebooked delivery for today. Got a text today saying they can't deliver today and I should rebook. FFS.

Managed to find a phone number and speak to someone. I shouldn't rebook apparently, despite what their text said, they'll get it to me when they can. I can't go and pick it up as they closed their collection wotsit.

Unbelievably shite.

There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #552 on: December 04, 2020, 12:23:35 pm »
Ordered some specs that are supposed to be very helpful with migraine, moreso that normal sunglasses. Unfortunately only available in the states; company sent via DHL Express.

They've had an exciting adventure this week through Miami, Cincinnati, Brussels, Heathrow, Luton, back to Heathrow. Yesterday they got to the Lambeth delivery facility early in the morning and that's where they're stuck it seems; frustrating given that's only 6 miles away. I've paid the duty so that's not it.

Seems impossible to phone to find out why they've not gone out for delivery so I've emailed and just have to wait I guess.

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #553 on: December 04, 2020, 12:34:42 pm »
Returning a parcel is just as much fun.

The Amazons sent me a whiteboard. Plantastic! Except at some point, an elephant had tried to use it as a surfboard. Hey look, new undesirable feature, it folds down the middle.

So, log-on, ask for it be returned. Sure thing, ian! Except they want me to organize the return. Seems a bit annoying as it's not my problem, but #firstworldproblem, it's a couple of minutes with a browser.

Except it's too big for the normal services, so much faff and the prices to courier it back are more than the item. I give up and go back to Amazon, you sort it out. Apparently, the bots don't have that option. Seriously.

OK, I don't want to be the sort of dick who shouts at minions in Faroffland reading a script at corporate gunpoint, so I end up booking a giant parcel at a return cost > item. Some kind of genius, I'm sure, but they'll apparently refund me (plus a gift token for my trouble). One of the options was £145, I was tempted. I presume it gets chauffeured for that.

Palaverama.
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Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #554 on: December 04, 2020, 01:03:44 pm »
Trevor from Yodel: Fuck off, you lying twat! You haven't tried my doorbell three times over the last week or so. How do I know? Well, maybe because I've been self-Isolating and stuck at home for the last 10 days and would've heard you.
Haggerty F, Haggerty R, Tomkins, Noble, Carrick, Robson, Crapper, Dewhurst, Macintyre, Treadmore, Davitt.

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #555 on: December 04, 2020, 01:17:05 pm »
We all know he hasn't even tried it but the doorbell is working right?

Not that knocking if he doesn't hear a doorbell should be beyond him.
Miles cycled 2014 = 3551.5 (Target 7300 :()
Miles cycled 2013 = 6141.4
Miles cycled 2012 = 4038.1

Tim Hall

  • Victoria is my queen
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #556 on: December 04, 2020, 02:11:53 pm »
We all know he hasn't even tried it but the doorbell is working right?

Not that knocking if he doesn't hear a doorbell should be beyond him.
Ringing is for when an answer is requird.
Cnoking is for when an ansr is not reqid.

Obvs.
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #557 on: December 04, 2020, 03:40:35 pm »
Yes, the doorbell is working, as umpteen other couriers have proved. It's spoke reflectors, so summat I'd have liked to have had for next week's commute.
Haggerty F, Haggerty R, Tomkins, Noble, Carrick, Robson, Crapper, Dewhurst, Macintyre, Treadmore, Davitt.

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #558 on: December 04, 2020, 04:46:31 pm »
Ordered some specs that are supposed to be very helpful with migraine, moreso that normal sunglasses. Unfortunately only available in the states; company sent via DHL Express.

They've had an exciting adventure this week through Miami, Cincinnati, Brussels, Heathrow, Luton, back to Heathrow. Yesterday they got to the Lambeth delivery facility early in the morning and that's where they're stuck it seems; frustrating given that's only 6 miles away. I've paid the duty so that's not it.

Seems impossible to phone to find out why they've not gone out for delivery so I've emailed and just have to wait I guess.

Someone has responded to my tweet. They've said they can see it was loaded into a van this morning and then taken out again  ???

They don't know why, because the depot isn't answering their phone.

I can only speculate that they're busy with Black Friday parcels and struggling, decided there wasn't time to make the delivery, and maybe it will finally be allowed onto a van on Monday.

barakta

  • Bastard lovechild of Yomiko Readman and Johnny 5
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #559 on: December 04, 2020, 05:59:55 pm »
Ugh!

Which kind of spex did you go for?

I have precision tinted Cerium blue lenses with a tint of turquoise... £££ but the only thing that helps the extreme visual stress at all.

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #560 on: December 04, 2020, 06:25:20 pm »
We all know he hasn't even tried it but the doorbell is working right?

Not that knocking if he doesn't hear a doorbell should be beyond him.
Ringing is for when an answer is requird.
Cnoking is for when an ansr is not reqid.

Obvs.


Clever Trever from that Yodel attempts to puzzle out CAMRAman's front door by Mr Larrington, on Flickr
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #561 on: December 05, 2020, 12:34:12 pm »
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ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #562 on: December 05, 2020, 08:37:39 pm »
For the first time in an aeon, they actually shoved the 'we need a signature' card through the door and ran off with my parcel rather the purposefully ignoring the 'leave it behind the porch' sign and dumping my package on the doorstep. Which is great as it's something I really needed (wellies that don't leak). Double great as I paid extra for them to be delivered yesterday – which obviously they weren't – and the next redelivery date is Tuesday. Ah toes of my left foot, salvation is not yet yours.
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FifeingEejit

  • Not Small
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #563 on: December 05, 2020, 10:24:59 pm »
It seems Hermes are delivering my contact lenses and they were very informative. Emails, texts. It's coming. It's coming! IT'S COMING SOON!!!!

It's a box that fits through the letterbox and is designed to be, well, sent by post.

They'll still likely manage to put it through the letterbox of the house with the same number on the other street.
As they keep doing for me, at least it goes to someone I've cycled with a good few times, and is into cars and photography and not one of the weirdos, although I suppose they're less likely to have a use for bike parts, car parts and old cameras...



Got an e-mail from DPD last night
"Sorry there's a problem at our depot, your Handbrake cable is delayed"

Then this morning it gave 1657 to 1757.

Think Steve Turned up bang on 1657 with it; but for a delivery driver he's rather good, has the added advantage of living over here, and if he empties his van doesn't have to go back to the depot, so usually tries again later.

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #564 on: December 07, 2020, 12:06:29 pm »
Ugh!

Which kind of spex did you go for?

I have precision tinted Cerium blue lenses with a tint of turquoise... £££ but the only thing that helps the extreme visual stress at all.

They're from a company called Avulux and are relatively new but seem to have some promising studies behind them. They block white, blue, amber and red but allow in green (which is apparently helpful). Also £££ and even more £££ once you've paid the duty on them, but needs must. If they bring about a significant difference I'll post about it elsewhere.

DHL really do sound chaotic. At 5.30pm on Friday there was a knock on the door and he was there with the parcel. So it did make it onto the van after all.

An hour or so later I got an email from customer service apologising that it hadn't made it onto the van because of an operational issue and saying it might be delivered Monday (today) but they couldn't be sure. Confirming that they really don't have a clue what's going on.

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #565 on: December 08, 2020, 07:33:31 pm »
So, getting a parcel collected is no more fun than having one delivered. Less so, it's like a reverse Christmas were Santa comes down the chimney and burgles you. You're not even getting Fun Stuff.

In a somewhat predictable form, my collection arranged to happen precisely between 0800-2000 today didn't. Hermes failed to collect my parcel. Thanks for the update at 1927. Why, well, because they couldn't, that's why.
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Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #566 on: December 09, 2020, 12:41:19 pm »
Useless Parcel Service.

I ordered some stuff for work last month. Was coming in two packages, a normal sized box and a long one containing cable ducting.
Tracking said it was out for delivery, never arrived. Part way through the following day it said that delivery was delayed due to the house number being wrong. Which is impressive as it was to an industrial estate with a central post room, where the guys on the gate would direct a driver to. And it has lots of deliveries, so must be a known destination for all the delivery companies.
Stuck on "we'll redeliver soon" for a couple of days, until I got the sender to kick them. Then they delivered, but a mistake in picking at the sender's place meant I received a garden fork rather than cable ducting. A couple of days later UPS called (left a message) asking if I'd now received both parcels, because their system was only showing one delivered and they couldn't find the other one.
Then the sender said they'd send out a courier to pick up the fork, and refunded me that part. UPS refused to pick it up for some reason (I found out when the still-in-original-packaging fork arrived back on my desk a week later as the postroom were sick of looking at it).

Yesterday was due to have a work related UPS delivery to home. Up mid-morning today it was still showing as delivery expected between 11 and 3pm yesterday. Now it's showing unspecified delay. Great.

Our local DPD is brilliant, but back when eldest son was at Uni their local DPD driver would come around in her little car dropping off "sorry you weren't in" cards as quietly as possible (they caught her in the act, running back to her car). She'd come around with the van with the parcels presumably when she'd got enough in the area to be worth her while, and having pocketed the failed delivery money.

fuzzy (retd.) AAGE

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Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #567 on: December 09, 2020, 10:37:13 pm »
AO texted me at 7:15 a.m. Yesterday to say that my outlaws tumble dryerp would be delivered twixt 7:30 and 10:30 a.m.
We leaped in the car and started the 65 mile drive to install the machine. Half way there we got a call to say they were five minutes out.
Ten minutes later we got a call to say the machine wasn't on the truck! We will deliver tomorrow they say.
No you won't say we. We can't repeat this journey till the weekend. Deliver it between 10 a.m and mid day on Sunday.
OK says they.
At 8:30 a.m. this very morning, I gets a call from AO to say they are trying to deliver the machine but no one is answering the door........
Quote from: tatanab
The mark of a true cyclist - prepared to try anything on offer

If it ain't bad for you it ain't worth doing

Tim Hall

  • Victoria is my queen
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #568 on: December 10, 2020, 10:17:03 pm »
I finally have my parcel. Let joy be unconfined.
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #569 on: December 10, 2020, 10:25:00 pm »
DPD's email yesterday said my box of beer would be delivered today and they'd text when it left the depot.

Nothing, nada, zilch.

So I clicked through to the tracking info. Apparently an order has been placed with them but they haven't got my parcel in hand yet.

Right then.
Miles cycled 2014 = 3551.5 (Target 7300 :()
Miles cycled 2013 = 6141.4
Miles cycled 2012 = 4038.1

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #570 on: December 11, 2020, 09:19:25 am »
DPD. Parcel with wrong product sent in error. Told delivery man I was not accepting it and it was to be RTS and he took it away. Replacement parcel with correct product arrives next day. A day later the original parcel is redelivered whilst I am in the rear garden for two minutes. The Mrs can't see very well so wouldnt know better. Strewth.
Get a bicycle. You will never regret it, if you live- Mark Twain

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #571 on: December 12, 2020, 02:55:23 pm »
Hermes (again).  I just had a call from an unrecognised mobile. Seems Hermes, in their wisdom, decided that the winter cycling boots I had to return to Salt Dog Cycling in Northampton as being too small would be better sent to Joe Random - in Lockerbie. This was achieved by the simple method of slapping a new label (which was easily - thankfully - peeled off by the recipient) to reveal the original address.  >:(

And of course, this morning, entirely predictably “this callers phone is currently unavailable, please try later”. And the web chat is a loop that it’s a struggle to get out of. If I had any confidence in getting paid, I’d just pretend it was lost and claim on the insurance I bought from them. It may yet come to that - and I’ll get the boot back too.

ETA: As expected, Hermes "cant fiind" my parcel - despite my sending them an email with photographs, and the address where my parcel can be found. And inviting me to claim on the insurance - which I will do, plus ask the guy  who received them to send them on to the retailer (at my cost, of course, and NOT by Hermes!) so I can get my refund from them.
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #572 on: December 29, 2020, 01:05:45 am »
(click to show/hide)

Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #573 on: December 29, 2020, 05:01:04 pm »
In similar vein, the Ethernet cable I ordered off of that Bay of Thieves, that they have now, had an ETA of Saturday.  It arrived today, though according to the notification e-mail it arrived in three hours time ???
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #574 on: February 21, 2021, 07:10:43 pm »
Driver today who parked completely on the path so we had to walk round on the grass to get by. I politely questioned if he thought it was acceptable and his reply was Amazon.

Anyone know how to complain to amazon without an account or by posting on their Facebook. I know they'll take no action but can at least stir a little