Author Topic: Comedy Off-Roading (on Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)  (Read 17261 times)

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Comedy Off-Roading (on Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« on: January 26, 2015, 12:10:11 am »
From the department of random thoughts that occurred to me while I was riding my bike:  Why don't we have a gallery thread for this?

Just in case anyone isn't familiar with the term, comedy off-roading isn't what you set out to do on a mountain or cyclocross bike:  This is about extended pub runs along dark lanes with shark-infested puddles; NCN routes letting you down on tour in a spectacular manner; bridleway shortcuts that seemed like a good idea at the time; group rides where you misjudged the routing habits of the ride leader, towpaths with ridiculous slippery bricks, railway paths complete with railway ballast, and of course those moments where the the only honourable thing to do is blame the GPS for leading you astray.

Extra points awarded for Mildly Inappropriate Bikes™:  Mud plugging on a carbon road bike.  Sustrans slalom on fixed.  Descending scree slopes on recumbent tourers.  Brompton cyclocross.  Trikes on deeply rutted tracks.  Anything that involves pushing a lowracer through a hedge.  That sort of thing.

(Danny MacAskill need not apply.)

Unfortunately all my COR photos seem to involve me lying in mud or bleeding, so someone else will have to start us off... what've you got?
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Re: Comedy Off-Roading (On Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #1 on: January 26, 2015, 12:13:22 am »
Quote
Descending scree slopes on recumbent tourers.

:D


Kim offroading by dean.clementson, on Flickr

Re: Comedy Off-Roading (On Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #2 on: January 26, 2015, 12:18:51 am »
And Foxton Lane, of course.



Foxton Lane by dean.clementson, on Flickr


IMG_0640 by dean.clementson, on Flickr


IMG_0650 by dean.clementson, on Flickr

"Slow"Coach on his Dahon was particularly impressive (it is a small-wheeled folding bike, though not obvious in that last photo). I thought I'd have the least appropriate bike, on my fixed Dave Yates with 23 mm tyres, but there's always one.

Re: Comedy Off-Roading (On Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2015, 12:38:38 am »
The border terrier wins the most appropriate bike prize.  That's a great one of Kim on Sleightholme.  I lovel the ghostly goods waggon - conjures up all sorts of odd scenarios.

Re: Comedy Off-Roading (On Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #4 on: January 26, 2015, 12:47:06 am »
There's another one of those on the road to Tan Hill - since Wowbagger was convinced that there was another pub between Langthwaite and Tan Hill (there isn't, but he didn't believe me), I christened that one the WB Inn.

Here you go, Peter - I think your fear had subsided a little by this point, but I'm afraid you don't get many inappropriate bike points.


IMG_0628 by dean.clementson, on Flickr

(This photo and the above one of Kim are on the gravel track across Sleightholme Moor, between Tan Hill and Bowes, and were taken on the 2011 Friday Night Ride to Tan Hill. It's a necessary bit as it makes an all downhill route to the most convenient train station at Darlington. It was resurfaced earlier that year, but no one believed me when I told them that)

Re: Comedy Off-Roading (On Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #5 on: January 26, 2015, 12:51:58 am »
That was a great ride, one of my all-time favourites.  Al is just about to give me the advice about the back brake, not the front.  I'm a bit more confident now - but not much!  The bike didn't enjoy it and got itself stolen eventually.

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: Comedy Off-Roading (On Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2015, 12:52:41 am »
I believed you.  That much loose gravel doesn't appear from nowhere!

The photos don't do justice to quite how fast I went down there.  I'd taken rather a lot of painkillers for my knee, and achieved a sort of Ballmer Peak for off-roading - quick enough reactions to do the right thing with the bike, but thought processes too sluggish to achieve a proper level of fear until after I'd negotiated a hazard.  I don't think I could do it like that again if I tried.

It's also worth noting that, miraculously, that one didn't end with me covered in mud or bleeding.
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Re: Comedy Off-Roading (On Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2015, 12:58:50 am »
You flew past me!  I can only add, in defence of my appalling showing, that I was ever so slightly drunk at the time, too!

Re: Comedy Off-Roading (On Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #8 on: January 26, 2015, 10:46:23 am »
Lovely thread! Unfortunately I don't have any photos for it, mostly because I don't have photos but also because in my case it's usually not a mildly inappropriate bike (even the Spacehopper has 28mm tyres and would probably handle that gravel ok) but a very inappropriate rider.  :-[ So I'll just enjoy other people's pics.  :)
The earth is vast and beautiful and contains many miraculous places. (Chekhov)

Re: Comedy Off-Roading (On Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #9 on: January 26, 2015, 01:40:21 pm »
Voilets Lane, Furneaux Pelham.

Pippa and Andrij will remember this one.... and prolly not let me forget it.
We were on our way to Cambridge. On road bikes.
We'd had a prolonged dry spell.
I thought I'd add interest to the ride by detouring via the longest ford in Europe.
It had been a while since we'd had any rain.....
No photos from me, just some Youtube footage of the sort of conditions we encountered that day....
It took us around half an hour to clean the mud off the bikes, sufficiently to allow the wheels to turn again.
Did I mention that we'd not had much rain?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilPTEy3YRJM

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: Comedy Off-Roading (On Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #10 on: January 26, 2015, 01:44:39 pm »
"Bah, I can't be arsed building any more road, let's just use this river bed and go to the pub..."
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Andrij

  • Андрій
  • Ερασιτεχνικός μισάνθρωπος
Re: Comedy Off-Roading (On Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #11 on: January 26, 2015, 04:20:09 pm »
Yes, Jurek, I remember.  It's been a few years, so the trauma is finally starting to fade. ;)
;D  Andrij.  I pronounce you Complete and Utter GIT   :thumbsup:

Biggsy

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Re: Comedy Off-Roading (On Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #12 on: January 26, 2015, 04:29:01 pm »
I've neglected to photograph my road bike off road excursions.  They tend to be efforts to find a discrete place to take a leak, tackling some rough terrain that even some mountain bikers wouldn't.  It's about time I stopped worrying about passing motorists seeing my cock from a quarter of a mile away.  It's hardly worth risking buckled wheels and dog shit for.
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tiermat

  • According to Jane, I'm a Unisex SpaceAdmin
Re: Comedy Off-Roading (On Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #13 on: January 26, 2015, 04:36:19 pm »
And Foxton Lane, of course.



Foxton Lane by dean.clementson, on Flickr


IMG_0640 by dean.clementson, on Flickr


IMG_0650 by dean.clementson, on Flickr

"Slow"Coach on his Dahon was particularly impressive (it is a small-wheeled folding bike, though not obvious in that last photo). I thought I'd have the least appropriate bike, on my fixed Dave Yates with 23 mm tyres, but there's always one.

IIRC Foxton Lane has been done on just about every type of bike barring an Ordinary and a 'bent.

Though it is not obvious, the first pic has me on my Ridley, with 23mm tyres and far fewer spokes on both my wheels combined than most here have in one wheel.
I feel like Captain Kirk, on a brand new planet every day, a little like King Kong on top of the Empire State

Re: Comedy Off-Roading (On Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #14 on: January 26, 2015, 08:47:24 pm »
"Bah, I can't be arsed building any more road, let's just use this river bed and go to the pub..."
I think you have the measure of it there....

Re: Comedy Off-Roading (on Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #15 on: January 26, 2015, 10:35:54 pm »
no photos fortunately but in the summer of 2012 I left work one friday to ride the long way home having specially aken the Yukon in. My route included this ford from the other side. Well despite the dry summer I got less than half way across (walking) when the water was up to the hubs and I decided I would be better served walking back out and riding round via the next road bridge.

Fortunately the weather was good and my feet soon dried out.

100 km later I was home.

Re: Comedy Off-Roading (On Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #16 on: January 27, 2015, 11:02:02 pm »

The photos don't do justice to quite how fast I went down there.  I'd taken rather a lot of painkillers for my knee, and achieved a sort of Ballmer Peak for off-roading - quick enough reactions to do the right thing with the bike, but thought processes too sluggish to achieve a proper level of fear until after I'd negotiated a hazard.  I don't think I could do it like that again if I tried.



A beer or three has much the same effect - I haven't the data to back it up, but I'm convinced I went down there faster after a couple of pints than sober.

Re: Comedy Off-Roading (On Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #17 on: January 27, 2015, 11:03:36 pm »
IIRC Foxton Lane has been done on just about every type of bike barring an Ordinary and a 'bent.

Though it is not obvious, the first pic has me on my Ridley, with 23mm tyres and far fewer spokes on both my wheels combined than most here have in one wheel.

Yes, and you're holding my Orange with its tractor-type tyres.

Any photos of Shark Lane? I don't have any - I think it's always been dark by the time we got there.

Re: Comedy Off-Roading (on Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #18 on: January 27, 2015, 11:17:07 pm »
There's a tempting shortcut over the hill between Berkhamsted and Hawridge in the Chilterns. It's even marked as a cycle route with green dots on the O.S. 1:50,000 map. The road surface is good up the east side of the hill, but then as you go down the west side it turns into this steep mudslide:



Next time I'll go round!

Re: Comedy Off-Roading (On Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #19 on: January 27, 2015, 11:26:20 pm »
Violets Lane, Furneaux Pelham.

I once led the club ride down Violets Lane. It was the dry summer of 2010, and there was no more than a trickle of water in the ford, but it just went on and on, and gradually we and our bicycles were coated with liberal quantities of yellow viscous mud. Never again!

tiermat

  • According to Jane, I'm a Unisex SpaceAdmin
Re: Comedy Off-Roading (On Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #20 on: January 28, 2015, 08:22:26 am »
IIRC Foxton Lane has been done on just about every type of bike barring an Ordinary and a 'bent.

Though it is not obvious, the first pic has me on my Ridley, with 23mm tyres and far fewer spokes on both my wheels combined than most here have in one wheel.

Yes, and you're holding my Orange with its tractor-type tyres.

Any photos of Shark Lane? I don't have any - I think it's always been dark by the time we got there.

I must have at least one photo, shall have a look.  I know, for certain, that we have ridden down there in daylight, several times!
I feel like Captain Kirk, on a brand new planet every day, a little like King Kong on top of the Empire State

Re: Comedy Off-Roading (on Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #21 on: January 28, 2015, 09:09:56 am »
You're counting flashes of lightning, right?

Torslanda

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Re: Comedy Off-Roading (on Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #22 on: January 28, 2015, 10:25:30 am »
I'll pinch one from Redshift's Coast to Coast in 2008.

VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

Pingu

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Re: Comedy Off-Roading (on Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #23 on: January 28, 2015, 10:49:22 am »
NCN 7 between Boat of Garten and Carrbridge. There are two routes, one on-road and one off. We tried the off-road option.


IMG_5148 by The Pingus, on Flickr

tiermat

  • According to Jane, I'm a Unisex SpaceAdmin
Re: Comedy Off-Roading (on Mildy Inappropriate Bikes)
« Reply #24 on: January 28, 2015, 12:35:10 pm »
You're counting flashes of lightning, right?

We should have really got a photo that day that we both said "NO WAY!"* and turned around to take the other route back...

*For those that weren't there, the track was covered, side to side and as far as we could see along it with ice.
I feel like Captain Kirk, on a brand new planet every day, a little like King Kong on top of the Empire State