I'm 'mission control', directing Mrs. F back home from Embra via twisty country roads over the phone.
The A90 main road to Aberdeen is blocked in both directions by some serious muppetry at Stonehaven.
She's been stuck for 3 hours now.
I've directed her onto back-roads I normally cycle on, but which look too improbably small for a rat-run.
I've taken her to places called Tewel, and onto the Auchenblae road, and then via Swanley to the Slug road and hence home.
I like the sound of those names!