"Quick, run, hide, here comes Dave Stewart / Walking up the drive, with that look in his eye / That 'Let's do a project' look, about third-rate Swiss agit-prop"
"Nero fiddles while Gordon Burns"
"A woman who described herself as 'A little bit Bridget, a little bit Ally, a little bit Sex And The City' and chose to call her baby boy Fred as a childishly rebellious attempt at a clever reaction to those who might have expected her to call him Julian or Rupert. Bit of advice: call him Rupert, it fits, and besides it’s a good name. Don’t be calling him Fred or Archie, with all its cheeky but lovable working class scamp connotations, unless you really do have plans for him to spend his life in William Hill’s waiting for them to weigh in at Newton Abbot."
"Not long now before lollipop men are called Darren"
"Your optimism strikes me like junk mail addressed to the dead"
"I tried to put everything into perspective, set it against the scale of human suffering. And I thought of the Mugabe government, and the children of the Calcutta Railways. This worked for a while, but then I encountered Primark FM."