Telefuckingmarketers! Die!
THIS. In spades . . .
Meanwhile in other news . . .
Self. You utter dickhead. When attempting to prune a lilac tree, what in the name of sweet baby cheeses possessed you to use a bow saw?
Further, why weren't you wearing gloves?
Further(II), why, when using said bow saw, did you hold the branch immediately adjacent the cut?
Further(III), why, when the saw stuck in the cut did you give an almighty shove which resulted in a large cut across your thumbnail?
Feck! It hurts to fit 23mm tyres today. . .